turbo-p Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 6 weeks after BU and because we have a child and therefore see each other all the time (and can't do NC) it was getting to my head. Apparently, after going through everything I am not the bad guy, but my ex hasn't grown up and is an emotional vampire. 4yr relationship with gf having post natal depression weight gain, weight loss and stress of moving. I paid all the bills, all her bills and sorted everything out, only to be told she doesn't love me anymore and can't make herself. The counsellor set me straight and explained she could do this again if we reconciled and she would bet the same story happened with her exes. She's a roller coaster person who gets to a level of equilibrium and then sees that person as a father figure who doesn't need anyone around until she's struggling or doesn't want to be alone. Apparently I need to stop being friendly and generous and only talk when it's about our child. Up until today, the last 6 weeks have involved chitchat and even going out for drinks with friends n lunch and stuff. This is cruel on me and is stopping me from recovering. I guess I knew this but also wasn't strong enough to admit it. Feeling quite empty now, but hopefully on a better path. I don't speak to many about relationships so if you are in the same boat I would recommend a counsellor. They really can shed some light on the situation and stop you feeling like everything is your fault.
whiteknighted Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 I second that! I've been to see a counsellor recently and although all I've done so far is explain the events surrounding the breakup and the conversations that happened since, it's really helped me so far. He's made me realise it's ok to feel the way I feel and that my ex didn't appreciate the love and support I gave to him and just how much I sacrificed for him. My breakup was nearly 18 months ago and I've spoken about it lots with friends, but having an impartial stranger to speak to - who might ask questions no-one else has asked really helps.
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