alphamale Posted February 18, 2005 Posted February 18, 2005 Ok, so I've been emaling back n forth with this new woman for past 3 wks. This was a hook up thru a mutual friend so we have not met but exchanged pics. The is cute, blonde/blue with a smokin' bod, woo hoo! Here is the problem. She is a jazz singer and will be playing at a bar in Detroit tonite from 8pm - 11pm and I'm supposed to meet her and chat during her breaks. The main issue is that this is a GAY bar she is playing at, not that there is anything wrong with being gay. But I have never been to one before and don't know what to do and am a bit nervous. It's not that I can't handle it, I can, but it is just something new and I don't know what to expect. Any advice? Yeah, and no smart alec comments.
ReluctantRomeo Posted February 18, 2005 Posted February 18, 2005 Only *you* could be doing this, Alpha In my experience, gay guys usually know you're straight without needing to ask. And since they're more used to interacting with our world than we with theirs, they'll probably work around you fine in the bar. You may even have some fun chats while you're waiting for your belle. And you are in the ideal situation vis-à-vis your lady - no competition in the house!
whichwayisup Posted February 18, 2005 Posted February 18, 2005 I've never gone to a gay bar so I wouldn't know what to expect either. What is it you're worried about? Being hit on, or just the general feel of the place and what you could see? I'm sure once you're there watching her sing and you get afew drinks in - You'll feel more comfortable. And then once you talk to her during the breaks it will get easier as the night goes on. I hope you have a good time and looking forward to reading about your evening sometime!
tiki Posted February 18, 2005 Posted February 18, 2005 Go, relax, and have a good time. Look as straight as possible. No worries.
tiki Posted February 18, 2005 Posted February 18, 2005 P.S. Hope you're not being set up for a terrible prank.
Author alphamale Posted February 18, 2005 Author Posted February 18, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo And you are in the ideal situation vis-à-vis your lady - no competition in the house! hey, that is a great thought RR. I did not think of that. No wonder she's not meeting any eligile men!
ReluctantRomeo Posted February 18, 2005 Posted February 18, 2005 Originally posted by tiki Look as straight as possible. So, for once leave the purple trousers and leather tanktop at home. And resist doing the actions to YMCA
Author alphamale Posted February 18, 2005 Author Posted February 18, 2005 Originally posted by tiki Go, relax, and have a good time. Look as straight as possible. No worries. i don't think i'll ever be mistaken for being gay (not that there is anythin wrong w/ that). but once i get there i'll be thinkin' "am i lookin' straight enuf" or "OMG, should I have made that hand movement" or "Ahhh, that dude's makin' eye contact". as long as i dont' have to conciously think about "lookin straight" there is no problem but what happens when you have to think about it? doesn't that f***k everythin up? no it's not a prank, TIKI
ThumbingMyWay Posted February 18, 2005 Posted February 18, 2005 I've been to a gay bar once....but it was heterosexual night ...it was really....so it just seemed like a regular club scene...with more gay/les styles abound. I was actualy nervous too....but really, they will know you are not gay.....just go find a seat, grab a drink....and wathc the show.
whichwayisup Posted February 18, 2005 Posted February 18, 2005 Look as straight as possible Or put a cucumber down yer tight pants, then walk in to the bar.... (Sorry, couldn't resist) Oh yeah, Bring some flowers for her. THAT way any guy checking out yer jewels will KNOW you aren't there for any of them...
Author alphamale Posted February 18, 2005 Author Posted February 18, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup I've never gone to a gay bar so I wouldn't know what to expect either. What is it you're worried about? Being hit on, or just the general feel of the place and what you could see? both i guess... most gay men leave straight men alone but some love to sort of harass you in a joking sort of way to get a rise out of you and see your reaction. a number of yrs ago i used to work with a gay guy who knew i was straight but he kept pestering me to go out for a drink or dinner or hang out with him. always saying i'm cute in front of others. it used to sorta piss me off but he was like doing it half joking/half serious. that year long fiasco comes to mind.
Author alphamale Posted February 18, 2005 Author Posted February 18, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo In my experience, gay guys usually know you're straight without needing to ask. How do they know this RR??? I mean, I have met guys who I later found out were gay that looked totally straight. You would never ever guess they were gay from outward appearances. Do they have some type of "strai-dar"? Like a little gadget with a green screen and blips on it to identify friend or foe?
whichwayisup Posted February 18, 2005 Posted February 18, 2005 a number of yrs ago i used to work with a gay guy who knew i was straight but he kept pestering me to go out for a drink or dinner or hang out with him. always saying i'm cute in front of others. it used to sorta piss me off but he was like doing it half joking/half serious. that year long fiasco comes to mind. Gay or straight - that guy is a real a**h***. If he'd done that to a woman who wasn't 'into' him, he'd be probably charged with harrassment or had a "talking to" by the boss... Anyway I'm gonna stop cuz that's a whole can of worms I'm not gonna open on your thread...
Devildog Posted February 18, 2005 Posted February 18, 2005 Seems to me I read an article a few years ago where they were developing "gaydar". It was like a pager type device that went off when in a certain proximity to another gaydar device. The idea was the other guy who started looking around was carrying the gaydar. I'm sorry Alpha, but this is just too funny. :lmao: :lmao: Of all the people to have to meet his date in a gay bar...... I'm sorry But if you don't want to get hit on by the guys, go dressed as a woman. :lmao: Sorry, I couldn't resist.
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 18, 2005 Posted February 18, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Do they have some type of "strai-dar"? Like a little gadget with a green screen and blips on it to identify friend or foe? Not exactly, but being bi/gay means that you really have to be tuned in to body language. The last thing you want to happen is to hit on a straight person and have them go ballistic on you. So, you learn to read the signals - just like hetero people do, only more so. I'd never hit on a woman I knew was straight, and I can tell that - you can tell by the way they carry themselves around you and around people of the opposite sex in a 'hookup' situation (hence, why you can't tell in a workplace or in a generic environment - if the mating signals aren't turned on then sometimes it isn't evident). Even the girls who dance all up on other girls for the amusement of nearby males don't fool me - you can tell by their signals to other people around them. My straight friends who go to gay clubs are almost always showing some 'closed off' body language to punctuate the "I'm not available" message. Ill at ease, hands in pockets, stiff posture, no eye contact, huddling close to the nearest opposite sex person - very, very different than just a nervous gay person going for the first time. I've taken 'newly out' friends to the same place and they are nervous, and have that stiff posture - but... they are making eye contact, smiling - you can see the *thrill* on their faces. Happy nervous and scared nervous are two very different things. Think of it like going to a bar full of women that you find grossly unattractive, and would never ever consider hitting on - and carry yourself the same way. If you don't look like you are 'on the make' and are closed off people generally won't approach you.
KANSAN Posted February 18, 2005 Posted February 18, 2005 Hey Alpha, the Gay's (jk) like a manly looking man so I've heard so watch how you dress and whatever you do don't drink too much. Relax and be the Alpha male we know and you'll be fine.
Author alphamale Posted February 18, 2005 Author Posted February 18, 2005 Originally posted by Devildog I'm sorry Alpha, but this is just too funny. :lmao: :lmao: Of all the people to have to meet his date in a gay bar...... I'm sorry But if you don't want to get hit on by the guys, go dressed as a woman. :lmao: Sorry, I couldn't resist. Ahh, DEVILDAWG, i believe I specified "no smart alec comments"...
tiki Posted February 18, 2005 Posted February 18, 2005 Whatever you do, don't start slamming women like you do here....or they WILL think you're gay.
Devildog Posted February 18, 2005 Posted February 18, 2005 I know alpha, but this is like dangling a juicy sirloin steak in front of a starving lion and expecting him not to pounce. You wouldn't have said no smart alec comments if you weren't expecting them
Author alphamale Posted February 18, 2005 Author Posted February 18, 2005 Originally posted by Devildog I know alpha, but this is like dangling a juicy sirloin steak in front of a starving lion and expecting him not to pounce. You wouldn't have said no smart alec comments if you weren't expecting them i was very hesitant to post this cause i know you clowns too well. but WTF! got some good ideas and advice from everyone, except YOU!
savethedrama4allama Posted February 18, 2005 Posted February 18, 2005 I think if you're hanging around the female singer then it'll be pretty obvious that you're there to see her. What bar is it, let me know and I"ll come crash your par-tay.
Pocky Posted February 18, 2005 Posted February 18, 2005 Don't dance unless you dance with a woman. Don't cross your legs. Don't order a White Russian. Don't sway your hips to the music while sipping on your drink. Don't drink out of a straw. Don't over tip the bartender. Don't smile a lot or give the impression that you're having a great time. Don't clap at the end of a show. Don't whistle at anything. Not even a woman. Don't sing along to the music. Find the one other straight guy there and stand near him.
Author alphamale Posted February 18, 2005 Author Posted February 18, 2005 Originally posted by savethedrama4yrmama What bar is it, let me know and I"ll come crash your par-tay. can't say but it is in an area of detroit city proper where your mustang would be stolen within 30 minutes.
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