Is cold approach viable in high school?

[R3d]

First off, to any of you who know me, I am seeking therapy for my self-hatred issues and my dad is planning on looking into it this week.

 

Now what I would like to discuss in this thread is whether cold approach is viable in high school. Many have said on other forums and even implied here that it is not and unless you are at the top of the barrel for looks and status (and I am at the bottom of the barrel) it is not and that you should just stick to what they call "social circle game" - the method of creating or increasing the size of a social circle and meeting girls that way through mutual friends. They say that cold approach puts your reputation on the line and can be seriously detrimental to your chances with other girls as you can acquire a reputation of being "that creepy guy". Also, as KaliLove said in Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships, high school girls can be cruel.

 

However, topaMAXX says otherwise:

 

Yes, I am advising you to approach. Both social circle game and cold approaches work in high school (to be fair though, it's rarely a "cold approach" since you're in the same school).

 

Also, don't beat yourself up if you get rejected. Just look at it as one step closer to success. This mindset will help you with anything you do in life. Anything worth having requires a lot of failure and mistakes first.

 

The problem with this is I have very little status in school and this is going to be difficult and take time for me to develop, and may even be near impossible for me depending on the circumstances next year. Also, a lot of times, I develop crushes on girls that I don't know at all or haven't talked to ever, that might be in one of my classes across the room.

 

In conclusion, regardless I am still going to try to build a social circle (meaning make friends), even if it doesn't get me anywhere in terms of dating just because it would be beneficial nonetheless. Anyhow, what I am asking here is what do you people think about cold approach in high school? Viable or not?

Edited July 1, 2014 by R3d

[somedude81]

Also, a lot of times, I develop crushes on girls that I don't know at all or haven't talked to ever, that might be in one of my classes across the room.

Stop doing that.

 

Just talk to girls around you and be sociable.

 

The one thing I regret the most in college was that I simply didn't talk to girls enough. And if a girl seems to like you, no matter what her race is, ask her out.

[d0nnivain]

The so called cold approach is actually more of a tepid approach when cloaked with some commonality like attendance at the same school.

 

A true cold approach is walking up to someone at a bus stop or football match & trying to strike up a conversation without having any knowlege of the other person.

 

You should join some school clubs or teams. Ask classmates to study with you. Smile & say hi in the halls.

[normal person]

The so called cold approach is actually more of a tepid approach when cloaked with some commonality like attendance at the same school.

 

A true cold approach is walking up to someone at a bus stop or football match & trying to strike up a conversation without having any knowlege of the other person.

 

You should join some school clubs or teams. Ask classmates to study with you. Smile & say hi in the halls.

 

Well said. There's no need for a cold approach in high school.

 

Listen OP, I think you're diving a bit too deep into this stuff. I appreciate your enthusiasm and desire to improve but a lot of these things you're trying to employ aren't too applicable until later on in life. I think if you're in high school the "temperature" of your "approach" is pretty much irrelevant. You're going to be running into each other all the time at school, the girl likely already knows who you are and all the basic info. Are you really going to "wow" her with some fresh new angle she's never experienced before? She probably already knows if she likes you or not before you do any of this "game." If I were you I wouldn't put too much stock in all this PUA stuff yet.

[R3d]

The thing is that sometimes I develop crushes on girls whom I have no association with, but see everyday just because she sits at the other side of the lunch room. I never know what to do in that situation.

 

And d0nnivain, that is exactly what I plan to do.

[somedude81]

The thing is that sometimes I develop crushes on girls whom I have no association with, but see everyday just because she sits at the other side of the lunch room. I never know what to do in that situation.

Do you talk to any of the girls in your classes?

[R3d]

Do you talk to any of the girls in your classes?

 

I tried to. I would naturally always try to socialize with and be friendly with whoever I was sitting next to or working with, guy or girl. Only some of them were friendly back but a lot would respond indifferently.

 

Just because some girls were friendly back doesn't mean that they're interested though and just because I was friendly to them doesn't mean I was interested either for that matter. I don't think any girl was actually interested in me, and the times I actually tried to escalate with the girls that I was attracted to by asking for their contact information or ask them out, they would flake or (as this one girl did) not reply much and give short responses.

[somedude81]

I tried to. I would naturally always try to socialize with and be friendly with whoever I was sitting next to or working with, guy or girl. Only some of them were friendly back but a lot would respond indifferently.

 

Just because some girls were friendly back doesn't mean that they're interested though and just because I was friendly to them doesn't mean I was interested either for that matter. I don't think any girl was actually interested in me, and the times I actually tried to escalate with the girls that I was attracted to by asking for their contact information or ask them out, they would flake or (as this one girl did) not reply much and give short responses.

 

For now you should just focus on being friendly and making friends. In HS it's a good idea for people to know you. Just start there.

[jay1983]

Look I personally don't believe the cold approach to be very effective, but that's not to say don't try it, if it works for you, then your fine.

 

Don't worry about girls saying your creepy, they do that to everybody.