bikerboy730 Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 (edited) i have to say that this has helped me alot. i wish i had found this site 6 months ago! my relationship was one of a very different kind. i am married for about 20 years, and have 2 awesome daughters! my wife and i are good friends. we get along fine. there has not been any intamacy in our marriage for about 15 years. well one day we were at a friends house partying. My best friend and his wife was there. well my wife and his wife decided that wouldnt it be fun to swap. i would have never thought about that ever asking her that, but, hey! you only live once. my friends wife was very beautiful! well, we all started chatting online with each other and hanging out. going to dinner and stuff. all the while the girls were planning the swap. as time went on me and my buddies wife became good friends. then great friends! she was the only person in the world that knows everything about me! stuff my wife doesnt even know! we shared our darkest secrets with each other. she would text me everyday, all the time an i loved it! i loved talking with her, she made me feel like i could be me and not be ashamed. i never had to pretend with her! she always knew how to comfort me. now understand, my wife was doing the same thing with my best friend. so what we had was a mutual thing. all was great! we did everything together, always the 4 of us. the places we went to, the vacations we took together! there are so many memories that are just so awesome! this was the most amazing part of my life! when we had sex for the first time it was mind blowing! best sex i had ever had ever! it would last all night! which only made the bond between us even stronger! we became even closer. we slept together all them time. i would do anything she asked to please her! she told me she that i was her best friend in the world and she loved me, and i told her i loved her so much and she too was my best friend!. as time went on things just kept getting better between for all of us! i know this may sound bad and people may not understand. but it was an experience that opened my heart even wider! my wife and her even had a sexual relationship. they considered themselves best friends too! like i said we would tell each other everything! all the bad stuff, the good stuff. our bond was so amazing and strong! after about 3 years things were slowing down a bit. we still talked all the time. got together when we could! she had a job that made her travel alot. always going to cool places for meetings, and the company would always plan fun things for them. one day we were talking alone and she said she wanted to get a divorce, which would end our group relationship. she was no longer happy being married. we talked in great depth about it. but when she said that, she would start dating, and that we couldnt be friends cuz that would be weird. well that devistated me, like someone had just kicked a hole in my chest! i never said anything at the time. we all were hanging out at my house. some had asked me what was wrong, i said i was a little upset from some bad new i had gotten. well that person decided to ask other people why i was upset. my friend came inside where i was at and was so pissed at me. now i never once betrayed her trust. i would never do that to her. i have always been there for her for everything! good and bad! since then our relationship became a bit distant. talking less, going out less. till finaly she said that she just want to be friends. she said that what happend that day changed everything for her. i told her i loved her more than anything! i would move mountains and cross oceans for her! she said she couldnt be what i wanted her to be. i have tried to keep our friendship alive. i would text her, just to say hi. i tried to txt to her. and each time she would get a little more angry with me. i was so confused. So I gave her space. A month would go by and I would send her a txt, “Hi, how are you?” . she just ignored me. Maybe a week later I would send another “HI”. when she would answer me, i would get one word answers. so i asked her if she didnt want to talk to me. which again made things worse. she said she was tired of talking about it. i told her i was just trying to figure this all out. she said there is nothing to figure out. She made a decision about her life and it was the right decision for her. She said she is moving on, she is trying to figure out where she wants to move to, that she is dating. she said that when she told about the divorce, that i was only concerned with our relationship and not her happiness. so now im really screwed up! all i have ever done was to make her happy. when i tried to tell her my side of it. that her decision had an effect on me too. then she told me that she doesnt think we have a true friendship and that she really doesnt trust me. I told her that I loved her, I was sorry! And would do anything to fix it. she would never answer any of my questions. i asked her straight out how she felt about me, but she totally dodge the question. all my questions. She just said bye! Now my wife and my best friend still have their friendship/relationship! Which is totally cool! They didn’t do anything wrong. And after all the time that has past of use being together I know they love each other too! I can see it. He is living here cuz he had no place to go! I truly am happy that they are still close! So im trying to move on. But all the memories at home and the place we went are so strong. The 3 of us tried to go to my favorite restaurant the other day, I had to leave! I started having an anxiety attack. So we left and went to a different place, and it started all over again! I had to keep going out side. I have had a lot of tragic things in my life, and lost a lot of people. I just never thought that she would have been one of them. I try to get angry and think of things to make me get thru this. But she was such a great person! The only thing I can get mad at her about is her job! I love her that much! I have unfriended her on FB, I have stopped trying to talk to her. I just cant believe I meant that little to her. I really thought that she was my friend. How could I have been that wrong? I would do anything to get her back! i feel very incomplete without her. am i being selfish? i truly want her to be happy even if that means without me! i just dont understand, nothing makes any sense Edited July 1, 2014 by bikerboy730
Author bikerboy730 Posted July 2, 2014 Author Posted July 2, 2014 does anyone have an opinion or advice. i could really use some help.
sugarlove Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 I"m confused by the story.... are you hurt because she decided to opt out of the wife swap thing? Or upset that she wants to focus on her life and what she wants out of it? Seems like a messy thing to get into.. at least for me. It's an unusual story but hopefully others can help you out.
Author bikerboy730 Posted July 2, 2014 Author Posted July 2, 2014 I"m confused by the story.... are you hurt because she decided to opt out of the wife swap thing? Or upset that she wants to focus on her life and what she wants out of it? Seems like a messy thing to get into.. at least for me. It's an unusual story but hopefully others can help you out. it is very complicated story. i am hurt because i lost my best friend i have ever had, someone that said that they had the same feelings for me as i did for her! some that wanted to be with me all the time, now wants nothing to do with me.
sugarlove Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Well, for one thing, as a woman, I feel it'll be hard to continue the wife swap thing. I personally wouldn't do it as it'll be complicated emotionally in the long run. She wants to focus on herself and with her marriage falling apart, i think it's wise for her to stop all the other distractions. Being with you guys will only remind her of her marriage. I think it's best to leave her alone for now, let her sort her feelings and thoughts out. It might be best to do the same for your friend as we don't really know why she wanted a divorce, and if you are part of the reason, I'll suggest you keep low for now and let them handle it on their own.
Author bikerboy730 Posted July 2, 2014 Author Posted July 2, 2014 i dont want to betray her and say why, but it had nothing to do with the swap. they did have problems before we all got together.
Author bikerboy730 Posted July 2, 2014 Author Posted July 2, 2014 Well, for one thing, as a woman, I feel it'll be hard to continue the wife swap thing. I personally wouldn't do it as it'll be complicated emotionally in the long run. She wants to focus on herself and with her marriage falling apart, i think it's wise for her to stop all the other distractions. Being with you guys will only remind her of her marriage. I think it's best to leave her alone for now, let her sort her feelings and thoughts out. It might be best to do the same for your friend as we don't really know why she wanted a divorce, and if you are part of the reason, I'll suggest you keep low for now and let them handle it on their own. thank you! i appreciate your view!!!!!
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