nerdlingZA Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 Hey all first of all I would like you guys to provide me with solution to this problem as its involves my friendship with my best friend. There's this girl who has chased after me for a year or so I never liked the girl, she wanted us to date, but I just never loved her. Now we have been kissing a lot and I almost had sex with her on the first day. Now the conflicts comes her, my friend and I both have access to one anothers Facebook so the other day I went to his FB and Found out that they have been seein each other (undercover relationship) NO ONE knows this besides me. I read that they have been kissing. This girl not too long ago (just over 30 days from now) has been telling me she loves me. I've been rejecting her all along but still kissing her. Infact last week she gave me goods from her moms store for free and kissed me too while at night she ****ing kisses my friend. my friend knows that me and this girl have been kissing for a year. I don't care about the girl the problem here is that why would my friend GO after someone when he knows that we've been kissing ?? The worst thing is that he doesn't have the guts to tell me I saw him today he still doesn't tell me. He just acts weird. This really irritates me if this girl was seen someone not my friend I wouldn't be moved by that. What must I do guys ? Must I stop been friends with him or what ?
Diezel Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 Do you mean your ex-best friend? Are you really asking a question after everything you described? Come on, now. 1
Author nerdlingZA Posted July 1, 2014 Author Posted July 1, 2014 Drop both of them. Its not that easy to drop my not because we've a concrete bond, but because he stays next door, he comes to my house and scrolls himself all the house. My parents know him. Because now I'm the only one (mom and dad never had another baby) we treat him like his my brother here. I see him everyday. Sigh, some people can really mess up a friendship out of nothing.
Diezel Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 Its not that easy to drop my not because we've a concrete bond, but because he stays next door, he comes to my house and scrolls himself all the house. My parents know him. Because now I'm the only one (mom and dad never had another baby) we treat him like his my brother here. I see him everyday. Sigh, some people can really mess up a friendship out of nothing. That's his problem to deal with for the rest of his life. He should have thought about ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL of that before he decided to mess with her. Seriously, your parents will understand why you explain to them why he isn't coming around anymore. The fact that he is treated like a brother makes his betrayal even worse. For a va-jay-jay in passing... come on.
Author nerdlingZA Posted July 1, 2014 Author Posted July 1, 2014 Do you mean your ex-best friend? Are you really asking a question after everything you described? Come on, now. I know that he should be my Ex best friend by now. I was hoping you guys would give me an alternative because cutting him out of my life isn't easy. But I feel highly disrespected by him. If he was a friend from school I would have cut ties with him long time ago.
Author nerdlingZA Posted July 1, 2014 Author Posted July 1, 2014 That's his problem to deal with for the rest of his life. He should have thought about ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL of that before he decided to mess with her. Seriously, your parents will understand why you explain to them why he isn't coming around anymore. The fact that he is treated like a brother makes his betrayal even worse. For a va-jay-jay in passing... come on. This makes a lot of sense, but how would I cut him out ? Must I just tell him I saw his FB inbox ? Or ?? There's been tension between us for a week now I try not to see him but his highly not feeling guilt he comes to me everyday!
MidwestUSA Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 Why have you been kissing a girl you don't love, and have rejected, for a year?! Who kisses for a year? Do you have some exclusive arrangement with her that your friend stepped on? It doesn't sound like it. Why WOULDN'T your friend go after someone you're obviously just using for kissing practice? If he's more compatible with her, then let him have her. Maybe he actually cares about how she feels. I'd say she gave you a fair shot if she hung in there for a year professing her love for you.
Author nerdlingZA Posted July 1, 2014 Author Posted July 1, 2014 Why have you been kissing a girl you don't love, and have rejected, for a year?! Who kisses for a year? Do you have some exclusive arrangement with her that your friend stepped on? It doesn't sound like it. Why WOULDN'T your friend go after someone you're obviously just using for kissing practice? If he's more compatible with her, then let him have her. Maybe he actually cares about how she feels. I'd say she gave you a fair shot if she hung in there for a year professing her love for you. Yes mate this is one of the reason that has been keeping me from reacting! But why hasn't my friend tell me that they're dating ? Maybe his feeling guilty ? Or his just direspecting me ?
MidwestUSA Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 Yes mate this is one of the reason that has been keeping me from reacting! But why hasn't my friend tell me that they're dating ? Maybe his feeling guilty ? Or his just direspecting me ? He probably is feeling guilty. You're just going to have to let him know that you found him out, and let the chips fall where they may. You may not have to lose either of them as friends, they're probably feeling pretty sheepish. Good luck.
Author nerdlingZA Posted July 1, 2014 Author Posted July 1, 2014 He probably is feeling guilty. You're just going to have to let him know that you found him out, and let the chips fall where they may. You may not have to lose either of them as friends, they're probably feeling pretty sheepish. Good luck. What do u mean by sheepish ?
EngnimaticResponse Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 (edited) Your explanation in your OP leaves a lot of unanswerd questions. 1. This was answered. He is a long-time friend of yours. 2. First you say she has been hanging around for a year, but you don't like her. Then you say you've been kissing for a year. So which is it? Have you been seeing her or haven't you? If you didn't really like her, I'm assuming your Best Friend would know this. Does HE like her? Maybe he just got tired of waiting for you to make up your mind. 4. Why not ask him? He's supposed to be your friend right? I would be more pissed at him for not saying anything to me then for actually seeing her. I would say: "Dude, do you like her? Why the hell didn't you say so? You knew I was not that into her. Why not just ask me "Hey dude, can try with her?"" 5. If in fact your first sentence is correct and you don't really have feelings for her, THEN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? LET HIM HAVE HER! FIND SOMEONE WHO INTERESTS YOU MORE! ** Unrelated Question: Is English your first language? I've read several of your posts now and the way you word things leads me to believe that it is Not. Edited July 1, 2014 by EngnimaticResponse
Trimmer Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 I never liked the girl... I just never loved her... I've been rejecting her all along... the problem here is that why would my friend GO after someone when he knows that we've been kissing ?? Maybe because it's clear you don't like or love her and you've been rejecting her all along? Maybe he's trying to help you out - maybe he thinks you don't have the guts to break it off with her, and he's trying to distract her. This really irritates me if this girl was seen someone not my friend I wouldn't be moved by that. Well, she's not seeing you either, is she? You've been rejecting her all along...
Author nerdlingZA Posted July 1, 2014 Author Posted July 1, 2014 Your explanation in your OP leaves a lot of unanswerd questions. 1. This was answered. He is a long-time friend of yours. 2. First you say she has been hanging around for a year, but you don't like her. Then you say you've been kissing for a year. So which is it? Have you been seeing her or haven't you? If you didn't really like her, I'm assuming your Best Friend would know this. Does HE like her? Maybe he just got tired of waiting for you to make up your mind. 4. Why not ask him? He's supposed to be your friend right? I would be more pissed at him for not saying anything to me then for actually seeing her. I would say: "Dude, do you like her? Why the hell didn't you say so? You knew I was not that into her. Why not just ask me "Hey dude, can try with her?"" 5. If in fact your first sentence is correct and you don't really have feelings for her, THEN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? LET HIM HAVE HER! FIND SOMEONE WHO INTERESTS YOU MORE! ** Unrelated Question: Is English your first language? I've read several of your posts now and the way you word things leads me to believe that it is Not. No english is not my first language but I'm taking english classes at school. So yea!! And no I never liked the girl enough to be in a relationship with but I kissed her whenever she wanted too. I think I'll just wait for my friend to tell me and be happy for him. As you pointed out in point 4 that's the best thing for everyone.
d0nnivain Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 You said it yourself. You don't care about this girl. She threw herself at you for a year & you didn't care. You have been kissing her but you don't love her. You seem happy about the free stuff she gives you & you didn't seem unwilling to have sex with her but you haven't. You said it almost happened. Now you find out what she's giving you, she's also giving him. You don't like that but really what claim do you have on either of them? As your so called best friend, I assume you have shared with this buddy your feelings or lack thereof for this girl, so really what difference does it make if he's kissing her too? Yes, he should have told you & not doing so was uncool but especially if he genuinely likes her & you are just using her to kill time until somebody better to kiss comes along, why are you so upset? Honestly I worry about the girl in this setting. She's clearly looking for approval & validation in all the wrong places
Author nerdlingZA Posted July 1, 2014 Author Posted July 1, 2014 Honestly I worry about the girl in this setting. She's clearly looking for approval & validation in all the wrong places you know what ? I think this girl is trying to play both me and my friend or she's trying to feel like a starring. She's 18 she doesn't go to school she sits at her house all day. She's desperate for action in her life. IMO this isn't much of a problem I'll just continue been friends with my best friend. I've come across serve situations than this.
MidwestUSA Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 you know what ? I think this girl is trying to play both me and my friend or she's trying to feel like a starring. She's 18 she doesn't go to school she sits at her house all day. She's desperate for action in her life. IMO this isn't much of a problem I'll just continue been friends with my best friend. I've come across serve situations than this. In that case, it's safe to say that you won't have to lose your friend over this. You might both end up losing her and move on to better things. It is odd that she would keep up the kissing with both of you. Perhaps you should compare notes? It might be a lovely bonding experience! Good work on your English! You're doing fine.
ascendotum Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 No reason to stop being friends with him. he is not making out with your gf or a prospective girl that you have your heart set on. You don't want this girl, and he would know it since you have not moved on her in over a year. He probably knows she likes you, likely even more then him, but I'd say he really fancies her and doesn't care. Maybe he is just having fun from her with no serious intent as well, since he knows she bounced from you. Either way it should be any skin off your nose. I guess you could be a little upset that he did not tell you he was making out with this girl, but not worth getting into an argument over imo.
Trimmer Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 It is odd that she would keep up the kissing with both of you. Perhaps you should compare notes? It might be a lovely bonding experience! Is this a gentle code-phrase for a potential 3-way?
MidwestUSA Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Is this a gentle code-phrase for a potential 3-way? LOL, not the way I meant it, but why not? A regular kissfest!
Author nerdlingZA Posted July 2, 2014 Author Posted July 2, 2014 No reason to stop being friends with him. he is not making out with your gf or a prospective girl that you have your heart set on. You don't want this girl, and he would know it since you have not moved on her in over a year. He probably knows she likes you, likely even more then him, but I'd say he really fancies her and doesn't care. Maybe he is just having fun from her with no serious intent as well, since he knows she bounced from you. Either way it should be any skin off your nose. I guess you could be a little upset that he did not tell you he was making out with this girl, but not worth getting into an argument over imo. Thanks. Simple and mature
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