Getting past wondering who ex is sleeping with after breaking up

[andrewskye]

I've always had the issue when breaking up with a girl how to block them out of my head. It makes me ill when i think some else is sleeping with "her". How do I cope. Even if i started dating again it still hurts

[d0nnivain]

Focus on who you are sleeping with & how much you are enjoying that At the very least think about who you want to be sleeping with next & don't worry about her.

[andrewskye]

Thanks man

[Chi townD]

Keep busy, very busy. That helps keep your mind off of what she's doing and focus on what you're doing.

 

 

At night, pop on an audio book, listen to it until you fall asleep. The night are usually the worst because that's when your head wants to wander the most.

[Bfef]

When you realise you are thinking about her, tell yourself to STOP right away and force yourself to think about something else. Doesn't work right away but after a couple of days it begins to get easier until you can push the thoughts out of your head without effort. Don't waste a second thinking about things you have no power over, put your efforts into the "now".

[shoegal4]

You really have to train your mind on how to stop those thoughts. In a situation like this, it's inevitable. Of course you're going to think of that. How could you not but it's beyond our control for what happens.

 

Like everyone else said, keep BUSY. After work, go to the gym, hang out with friends, take a walk. Whatever. Anything. After a while, that feeling and those thoughts will dissipate. Going through the same thing my friend. It's hard as hell but each day gets better and better.

 

And mainly, instead of focusing on her sex life, focus on yours. Even if you aren't ready, motivate yourself to move on and remember things will get better and one day she will be a distant memory...

[andrewskye]

Thanks shoegal....super hard for sure

[NC-Thomas]

When you realise you are thinking about her, tell yourself to STOP right away and force yourself to think about something else. Doesn't work right away but after a couple of days it begins to get easier until you can push the thoughts out of your head without effort. Don't waste a second thinking about things you have no power over, put your efforts into the "now".

 

Did you practise NLP? (neuro linguistic programming) Cause this sure looks like a technique from that.. Works quite well!

[sugarlove]

Argh, those nasty thoughts, they sure creep up when we least expect it and completely disable us.

 

I do agree with everyone here, for me, I do have to basically tell myself to STOP. When I burst out in tears at night, I said to myself STOP IT. Funny enough, I do stop when I scold myself, funny as it seemed now. Thoughts can be controlled, the mind is a powerful thing, when you control it, your heart will follow.

 

I basically have to bring up all the negative thoughts about him to try to cover up all the good points. Difficult... as they say love is blind but then again, they also say no one is perfect.

 

I also find it helps to visualise and remember the day we broke up, the coldness in his face and how uncaring he looked. I remember his breakup words and I'll always remember it so I can stop thinking about all the sweet nothings he say, which are actually just nothing.