eonblue Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 So abit strange situation. Me and my ex broke up 4 months ago after 10 years. She acted like she had a GIGS checklist to complete during it, 25 years old, moving to different country, leaving a stable relationship that had plans to move it to the next level this summer. During the breakup time I've improved massivly both physically and mentally and dated some and she has as well. So the desperation and confusion from the breakup is gone and neither of us is really thinking about a relationship, especially not her since she's dead set on moving. The wierd parts comes with it being so naturall to hang out, feels better than before and we've cuddled some after hanging out a couple of days. I'm trying not to push anything and we had a talk and she said that she's afraid to get intimate even if she wants to since she dosen't want to fall in to old habits. I'm thinking this is due to her being afraid to rekindle feelings for me and preventing her from moving. And I think that's the most frustrating part for me, I can tell that she wants to but just stops herself and I'm not sure if I should push or not since I'm not sure it would work if we got back together now. She might regretting not moving forever or it could be a excellent relationship again.
David87 Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 You are not ready for a relationship yet. You still care about her its so obvious, she dumped you at the end of the day. Its possible to be friends with your ex but only when you stop caring about her in a romantic way.
Author eonblue Posted July 1, 2014 Author Posted July 1, 2014 Yeah there is no denying that, however i'm not pining for her or anything like that. But I quess that the feelings are still lingering from the old relationship and just gets amplified by the positive changes. And we're spending 3 weeks together now, probably a good thing just to figure stuff out. Only been a couple of days and since we had NC for about 1,5 month before that it might just be the confusion of meeting again and it will settle in a couple of days and it will be abit clearer. Just a massive head **** now when both are enjoying spending time together.
David87 Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 (edited) Are you sure she does to, because to me it seems she's easing her guilt for dumping you. Edited July 1, 2014 by David87
Author eonblue Posted July 1, 2014 Author Posted July 1, 2014 (edited) I am. I could be completely misinterpreting it but after 10 years I know her fairly well. She wouldn't lead me on or whatever you would call it, to much principals for that, but sure I'm not ruling it out completely. Also she knows that I've been seeing other people and I'm moving on so I don't really see the point in her feeling guilt. And seeing how I'm much happier now than at the end of the relationship aswell. Edited July 1, 2014 by eonblue
David87 Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 At the end of the day you want her back right? ( at some point) It would be wise to give her the opportunity to miss you( 1 month, a year two who knows) Just my 0.02 cents.
Author eonblue Posted July 1, 2014 Author Posted July 1, 2014 Yeah, it's a person that I function great with so the possibility of getting back is tempting but not a necessity. And your right in the missing part, she's so absorbed by her quarter life crisis that missing me or anything really that she used to have is out of the question. And that will probably take longer to run through her system then it will take me to more or less forget her. Knowing that and the signals I've been getting are really whats the issue, it would be easier if she was completely cold. As it's now I'm afraid that we'll try again and then **** up a couple of weeks/months/years from now and miss out on other things and ending up resenting each other instead. And yes, I could just say no but I know myself better than that and I wont.
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