xxxDantexEmmelixxx Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 (edited) (I'm new to forums, so forgive me if I'm posting in the wrong place) ...so I'm in a long-distance relationship with my amazing girlfriend ******... she is the most beautiful, sweet, loyal girl I could ever imagine... she is just perfect... but even though I know how loyal she is, I just can't stop thoughts lie 'what if everything is a big lie' or 'what if she is cheating' and every time something even slightly suspicious happens, like, I always seem to be just searching for things to go wrong... and I know that if I lost her, I would kill myself, if I didn't die of heartbreak first... I just couldn't imagine life without her, she is everything to me... and I'm not sure I can last for 5 years until we can move in together (I'm 16, she's 15) as she lives in Denmark, and I in the UK... can somebody please help me... I don't know how to cope... we always have chats about loyalty and how much we mean to each other, and I leave the conversation feeling happy and satisfied.... then the next day, I wake up, and have a new suspicion - its agonizing.. constantly scanning the one girl who means more than the world to me... I've done it with all my exes, and I'm not sure if it has to do with my post-traumatic stress disorder, or just trust issues in general... I just need help off somebody... to help me trust again, when I seem incapable... I love her, but I feel the only way I can ever trust anybody, is if I'm always there with her to protect her fiercely from others... I'm also afraid of when she goes to college next year 'what if she changes with age' 'what if she meets someone better...' 'what if she meets new friends, and decides not to move in with me when were older.... I just feel torn, and on the verge of suicide... sorry for the long-ass post btw, I really can't put my feelings into words... my head is just on scrambled mess, and I love her so much it actually hurts... that I can't be with her, holding her hand... kissing her soft lips... holding her amazing body... I want to be with her... help... Edited July 1, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
umirano Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 Ugh... that's really upsetting. I have no good news for you. The probability you'll be together in 5 years is absolutely minimal. I don't know of a single RS that lasted from the teenage years significantly into the 20s. You should however absolutely enjoy the time with a soulmate. Have you met your GF? Btw, you should not use real names in posts on any forum. I have been in a LDR this age with a girl who went for a student exchange. Needless to say she broke up with me pretty much the day she returned. You're so young, you, and her will go through many changes until you could possibly think of moving in with each other. No other person is worth committing suicide over. You need to relax. You're a teenager, you're supposed to have strong emotions. But take it easy, and try to be realistic. Enjoy the RS but don't arrange your life around it. When the time is right one of you will move on, and it's going to be OK. You have many experiences yet to make. Chill + good luck 1
Author xxxDantexEmmelixxx Posted July 1, 2014 Author Posted July 1, 2014 thanks.. I can tell me and her have the capability to last, she's different from other girls, honestly ^^ it's just my doubts that will propably get in the way of it all... I always screw up, because of my lack of the ability to trust sorry to hear about your girlfriend though :/ well, to be honest, I've had suicidal tendencies for a few years now, and if I lost her, it'd just be the icing on the cake that would finish me... I just couldn't keep on living, see her mving on with another guy... being happy with another guy... marrying another guy... dieing with another guy... I want to do all of those things, and I just couldn't imagine anyone else thanks for the reply though, its appreciated :')
David87 Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 Just go to a professional to talk about this issues, you need counseling. You're not alone, many of us have had suicidal thoughts at some point in our lives. Feeling suicidal is not a character defect, and it doesn't mean that you are crazy, or weak, or flawed. It only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. This pain seems overwhelming and permanent at the moment. But with time and support, you can overcome your problems and the pain and suicidal feelings will pass. Just go to a professional to talk about this issues, you need counseling. 1
Always Pondering Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 thanks.. I can tell me and her have the capability to last, she's different from other girls, honestly ^^ it's just my doubts that will propably get in the way of it all... I always screw up, because of my lack of the ability to trust sorry to hear about your girlfriend though :/ well, to be honest, I've had suicidal tendencies for a few years now, and if I lost her, it'd just be the icing on the cake that would finish me... I just couldn't keep on living, see her mving on with another guy... being happy with another guy... marrying another guy... dieing with another guy... I want to do all of those things, and I just couldn't imagine anyone else thanks for the reply though, its appreciated :') Umirano is right in that relationships at that age tend to not work out, especially any first serious relationship in your life. A pair of friends of mine were dating in high school through college for six years and everyone thought they were going to get married. They broke up. The issue is your lack of trust may end up ripping this relationship apart. A relationship without trust is well, a dead relationship in the making. This repeating pattern of "suspicion" and mistrust is something you should take a look at and introspect. As the other posters have said, you're very young and you'll learn many experiences in your youth. You'll overcome many pains and you'll embrace happiness. Your happiness however, should not depend on this girl. This in combination with the lack of trust will absolutely tear a relationship apart if it's not looked at. Things will be alright. Please do not try to commit suicide however, that is a choice you should never have to make. I promise when you're older, you'll be extremely glad you didn't. Talk to some friends who can support you. 1
Author xxxDantexEmmelixxx Posted July 1, 2014 Author Posted July 1, 2014 thanks guys (or girls?) :') David87 was right... I think I need some serious councelling and help, just not a very good talker, and am bad at showing my feelings to people don't know and trust.. and always pondering, I've been is a lot of long-lasting relationships and I know how to make it last.. its just they were always broken by cheating )on their half of things) and I just couldn't overcome the pain of losing her... she is just everything I have to live for.. I got no real friends, an family that just blanks me and pretends I'm not even there, and have been hurt so many times in the past... she's pretty much my savior ^^ thanks though people ^^
David87 Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 You are welcome op. People come and go, sometimes we put all our trust in them but they decide to leave us adn break our dreams. You just need to learn how to cope with tose kinds of looses because at some point in your life they are inevitable. And always remember to love yourself first . 1
umirano Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 thanks.. I can tell me and her have the capability to last, she's different from other girls, honestly ^^ I'm sure she is, but that's what many people say at one point or the other in their lives, trust me. it's just my doubts that will propably get in the way of it all... I always screw up, because of my lack of the ability to trust Stop taking yourself so damn serious If a RS fails it's more often than not both peoples shortcomings. Everyone survives break ups. Enjoy every bit of it now. Don't think of the future, just go with the flow. Just keep in mind when it happens, it's not the end of the world. On this forum you'll find people who'd happily exchange your worries against theirs, say if they haven't ever had a GF in the first place. sorry to hear about your girlfriend though :/ Thanks it's not even a thing anymore. Then I thought my life is ****ed, I built all my plans around her being my GF for ever and ever. LOL... well, to be honest, I've had suicidal tendencies for a few years now, Yeah, talk to a professional. That doesn't sound too healthy. I just couldn't keep on living, see her mving on with another guy... being happy with another guy... marrying another guy... dieing with another guy... I want to do all of those things, and I just couldn't imagine anyone else Listen closely, if a RS ends, you NEVER follow your partner through his life. People are free. If a person doesn't feel comfortable in a RS anymore he/she has every right to move on. Imagine if she had a right to you for ever and you met someone even cooler than her, or if she suddenly changed into someone you don't like as much. It's good that RS end from time to time. Just relax. And BTW, it's very likely that both of you will go through a lot of change until your mid twenties. Even later. I've seen it. People evolve. There's really no point in thinking so far into the future. Enjoy what you have now. You can worry about your early twenties when you have the 2 on the first digit. 1
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