Iloveher10 Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 Hello, I would like to ask you guys for help, sorry Im new to posting here, so I may place this in the wrong section (Im pretty sure this is the right place). Ive been in love with my girlfriend for 10 months now, and currently we are both 18, almost 19. I know Im young, and its early, but I’ve known this girl for about 6 years now, and we were best friends and would always talk to each other. I started off slow, really slow. I wanted to be friends and Im not sure where I wanted to go with the relationship. I didn’t want to ruin it if she want a romance, yet she did eventually as I did towards the beginning of our senior year of high school. I won’t give you the cliche of how amazing of a girl she is, but she makes me smile even without trying. She’s incredible and so beautiful I don’t believe she doesn’t see it, and I tell her that. At the time I met her, she struggled with a passing of a very close family member. Although Ive never dealt with anything like it, she’s always spoken to me, and I’ve always helped her out and listened and talked to her and been there for her. She went through depressive periods, and slowly I see herself crawling her way out of it, because with love, I believe she’ll get better, and Ive noticed she has been getting better. She needs me, and while I know I shouldn’t have to hold her forever bcz of that, Its a strange thing because I feel like I need her too. She’s been the girl Ive been able to cry to, and she’s made me feel a lot less lonely. Even though Im a very gregarious character, and can speak to anyone, Im not very good at keeping relationships (friendships) as Im so focused on school and find most high schoolers as such liars and loud mouths. She’s different. She makes me wanted. She makes me feel amazing. I can be around her and be myself. We love to have fun I know its early, but we’ve had a fair share of relationships and just somewhere in the back of my mind, I’ve always thought we’d end up together. Eventually as we progressed through the relationship, we realized we are in love. We loved each other always, but now its in love. Months later, it became I knew she was the one. I know we’re young, but I know I want her forever and cannot wait for a life just with her, because it’d be absolutely perfect (and don’t worry, we’ve discussed marriage and being in love, hahaha its nothing new)… Now heres the situation… college. We both are going to the same large university. This is a whole new world. Now rather than only being able to see her once or twice during the weekend for 4-5 hours (and also 2-3 hours during the school day), Now I can see her whenever I want (can’t wait ))) ) and be able to sleep in the same bed and do anything with her, without parental restriction and having to be back home before 10 o’clock (sucks I know). I was going into a tough major and need to study, but I want to really have fun and enjoy college (of course with my lovely GF). So Im going to be booked and don’t want to waste my time in college. What should I do with seeing her and doing stuff with her? Like at all High school events (or most) I’ve gone with her and sure she dissociates with her friends sometimes and I’m okay with it, but we both hate being without each other. When either one of us goes on a vacation outside our hometown, we both have this lonely feeling of slump. We LOVE each other so freaking much. We are obsessed and hate when the other is gone (even if we wouldn’t be doing anything that day, we just don’t like the idea of the other not being near for a longer period of time).We are so obsessed with each other and start to miss each other, even after 1-2 days of not seeing each other we pretty much go crazy to see each other. We do pretty much everything together. Now back to college. it is coming up and we are going to have LOTS of time. Sure Im going to be studying a lot, and also having fun, but how much time should i spend with her. Should I give her time with her friends and such and give some space. Sure I don’t want to be there to EVERY social event, but love to be at as many as possible. I just don’t want to seem controlling, and want always be worried when she’s out and Im not or vice versa. I want to give freedoms while being able to see her a lot. I don’t know… I just need help, because we both rely on each other for soooo much and not that I have a problem with it, but should space be established… like is it necessary? We text each other soooo much too, I can’t ignore her or I can’t not text her without thinking about it… I like have to respond because its so difficult not to. Our conversations go on so long, everyday. I mean in high school we both had the same group of friends that loved us together so much. It could just be like that. SO i guess my question really is, how much space should be given if any? What should I do about relying on her and not being able to be without her. Like any small period of time when one is gone is soooo difficult. Should we step back and give each other time with just friends so that we both have more spark (haha idk how it works)? Should we text less? and just be with each other more? I love this love story between us, and can’t wait to tell our kids. :love:
clia Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 In my opinion, it is absolutely imperative that the two of you both have a lot of space to make friends and establish your own identities when you start college. I don't think it would be smart to focus 100% on your relationship and to spend all of your free time together. By doing so, you will miss a lot of what makes college wonderful. It may be easier to stay in your comfort zone with each other, but you should resist. Making friends and establishing relationships in college (and nurturing those relationships by spending time with those people) is so important. You are both going to need to learn to live without each other for a day or two. I do not think you should spend every night together. Maybe 2-3 nights per week. (Are you living in the dorms?) I also don't think you should see each other every single day. Maybe see each other 3-4 days a week. You should both be participating in extracurricular activities on your own or with friends, going out to parties with friends, eating lunch and dinner with friends, etc. I also personally think texting with someone all day long is ridiculous. Get your face out of your phone and interact with real people around you. 1
d0nnivain Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 You two will have to work it out. Some couples want to be joined at the hip. Others want more space. Keep the lines of communication open.
Author Iloveher10 Posted June 30, 2014 Author Posted June 30, 2014 I like what all you guys had to say. I agree with you Clia that we need some time apart and that friends need to be separate and I shouldn't see her every day. Its weird that we've always seen each other so much its hard to not go without her. But yes I agree it needs to change. Should I just say that for 3 days of the week I can hang out with her, but then on other days I think we should be separate and hang with others. I don't know how exactly to word it, but yes I think its imperative. Sorry I just think I'm in so much love her its crazy. Like I feel like Noah from the Notebook (I know its all so cheesy but its so true) I'd do anything for her.
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