Have You Ever Loved Someone So Much It Made You Cry

[SadBabyGirl]

Id like to share with all of you my story, and any advice, comments, feedback would be appreciated!

 

After a year of being alone and lonely after my ex boyfriend abandoned me...I was trying to move on and had no luck. I kept searching for someone new to date, I was lonely however I kept looking in the wrong places and meeting guys who were idealistic and kept judging me based on their perceptions of how i "should act, be, or be qualified to go out with them"...

So finally i gave up...

Right after Thanksgiving last year... a friend of mine encouraged me to make a webpage on a site where you can network with friends and meet new people. So after being stubborn, I went for it. Thats when I met my new boyfriend. Out of nowhere I found his webpage and I felt like it was love at first site, i emailed him and he mailed me back. We talked on the phone and chatted and cammed for months. Our personalities, hobbies, goals, life experiences were so much alike. I felt like i was talking to the boy i grew up with who understood me. And best of all, he doesnt want to change a thing about me. He loves all of my good and bad and even he says i dont have any flaws even if i pointed them out.

 

He is a very innocent minded person. He has a disability in which he is wheelchair bound and many girls have hurt him because of this. Because i am such a sincere loving person i see past all of that and all i see is a beautiful person inside and out. I have already told him and he has told me..someday we will marry. I told him i have no problem taking care of him. I love him so much that it doesnt bother me that i have to bathe and clothe him and carry him to bed with me. Seeing him happy has touched my heart and life in so many ways. When I am not with him i feel like i lost my best friend.

 

After we chatted for the past few months, he surprised me with a week visit to his town. He got me a fancy hotel room for me to stay, and he planned a wonderful dinner for valentines day for us. The whole week i was there, it was like a dream. Everything we did was like what you only see on tv, in the movies and soaps. I even slow danced with him although he's in the chair. We made incredible love, watched movies and music vids and went sight seeing. I was so happy that week that i kept crying, i felt happy but at the same time i felt sad. Coz I knew i would have to leave home and...

Because

I live 500 miles north of him in a remote town. He lives with his parents, who are old fashioned, conservative and take care of him. They are cautious about me because i am "from the internet". I was very pleasant to them, I gave his mom a gift for V day. Im sad because he lives at home with his parents... and he is talking about us getting a place together, so that i can finish my school in the city which is my dream to graduate and be with him and we can take care of eachother. But it all sounds like he is daydreaming. Because I know that his parents may not give him up so easy, especially due to the fact he was so hurt by girls in the past. Plus they get income for having him there.... And i right now am currently unemployed, just takin my online classes for credits and trying to figure out what to do to make this relationship work And what to do for my future career. He is doing everything in his power to make it work even though hes far and disabled ... which is a lot more then what my ex boyfriend did for me and goes to show me finally that i can no longer dwell on the past because i met someone who treats me so much better. Everyone is trying to convince me not to get into this relationship because they are afraid he may die young someday and leave me, and then I will have to take care of myself because by that time i would have relied on eachother too much emotionally and financially. But I just cant listen

 

So what do you all suggest I do on my part? I really really love this man and I want a future for us. Hes the kindest person Ive ever met and I want to give back to him all the happiness he gave to me. Should I just be patient? I would like to at least go and visit a couple of weeks a month but its expensive and If i get a new job here where i live with my family, they may not let me go for a few weeks a month to visit him. His family already made it quite clear i cant move in or stay with them. They also may not let him get a place with me because we are "not married"..(they're very old fashioned). He already said that he knows for sure he wants to marry me. But we need more time coz its too early (almost 4 months)...

and our familys would flip coz we would be rushing things. His mom told him we should just be friends first but our emotions and heart just wont let us. Anyhow I just wanted to share my story with you and i hope some of you LDR ppl here on the board can relate. God bless you all.

[katty]

Your story made me cry. I don't have any wisdom to share, I am currently trying to get over my exboyfriend with which I thought was my soul mate. Our only problem was the distance. It was a 3 hour drive. Not bad but both of us are at a pivoting point in our careers and now I realize that maybe we let our careers destroy a great r/s. He got engaged to another girl less than 3 months after our breakup and it broke my heart. But back to your subject-

Your story is so touching and remarkable and I commend you for your strength. First I want to say-you know the old saying it is better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all? I hate that saying sometimes but in your case it really fits, what I mean is if you love this man as you claim then I say go for it. I realize it is scary to fear the future and the thought that he might not be able to grow old with you, but the saying suits the two of you. Take advantage of the time you have together, enjoy each and everyday together and remember to thank God for each day that he gives the two of you. The reason your peers, friends, family express their concern is because they are not seeing the same man you are. They see it as a possible burden to you but the only one that matters is how you feel and you obviously don't feel this way. As for his parents you must realize that they have witnessed his heartbreaks in the past and also have endured his pain. They are probably more protective than most b/c of his condition. Just try to reassure them of your true intentions and show them your true feelings of love and show them you are capable of being there for him. I have a friend that is now in a wheelchair after a diving accident and his mother is very protective b/c she almost lost him. He married a friend of mine but only after a few bad ones. His mother had no faith in her and felt she would realize it was too hard and bail but my friend proved that she was there and they are very happily married today.

I am so glad you have found love. Just remember to keep the line of communication open, especially during the distance duration.

Good Luck,

Oh btw did you happen to watch Live with Regis and Kelly last week? They had a couple get married on thier show and the couple met after the guy was in an accident and in a wheelchair. It was a very touchy and heartwarming episode. I cried watching these two total strangers to me getting married.

My prayers are with you both.

Kat

[ReluctantRomeo]

Sadbabygirl, you are so sweet. I'm in the office, so I'm not gonna cry but I'm so moved.

 

One of my best friends married a guy with quite severe health problems last weekend. I am so happy for her. He is really sweet and kind.. and the difficulties he has had have given him a strong yet gentle character. For her, this more than counterbalances the health issues. And she's right!

 

I guess you have to sit down and work through the practicalities in your mind - living arrangements, life expectancy, what you'd need to care for him as time goes on. I would find out from a healthcare professional what the prognosis is, so you go in with your eyes open to the cost of this relationship. But good character can more than outweigh any of these costs.

 

Good luck to you! Tell us how it goes.

[whichwayisup]

live 500 miles north of him in a remote town. He lives with his parents, who are old fashioned, conservative and take care of him. They are cautious about me because i am "from the internet". I was very pleasant to them, I gave his mom a gift for V day. Im sad because he lives at home with his parents... and he is talking about us getting a place together, so that i can finish my school in the city which is my dream to graduate and be with him and we can take care of eachother. But it all sounds like he is daydreaming. Because I know that his parents may not give him up so easy, especially due to the fact he was so hurt by girls in the past. Plus they get income for having him there.... And i right now am currently unemployed, just takin my online classes for credits and trying to figure out what to do to make this relationship work And what to do for my future career. He is doing everything in his power to make it work even though hes far and disabled ... which is a lot more then what my ex boyfriend did for me and goes to show me finally that i can no longer dwell on the past because i met someone who treats me so much better. Everyone is trying to convince me not to get into this relationship because they are afraid he may die young someday and leave me, and then I will have to take care of myself because by that time i would have relied on eachother too much emotionally and financially. But I just cant listen

How old are you both? That actually does make abit of a difference here in your situation.

 

I think his parents actually have every right to be concerned...You know you and what you're about. His parents don't. I know lots of people on the net have met up and it's been wonderful...But I also know somebody very recently who knew somebody for over a year and when they met afew times...Then moved in - well, things changed completely. His folks DO have fears and rightfully so because if it doesn't work out they are the ones who have to pick up the pieces and look after their son. This is nothing against you OK, so please don't feel I am bashing you. I'm not...But what you CAN do is show them what sort of person you are...Gain their trust so they really do see how much you love him and are willing to do for him.

 

It won't be an easy life - no doubt about that...But you love him so much and want to be with him, I understand that but really do look into his medical problem and what could happen further down the line...That has nothing to do with love and honouring somebody - this is about THEIR LIFE and how much you can handle...

 

What if, just by chance, you couldn't handle it? Things got worse and yet you love him so much but now 2 years in or so not sure if this is actually what you want and you're not as happy. You're stuck.

 

Just giving you things to think about, playing devils advocate I guess....

 

All the best and in the meantime enjoy eachother.

[SadBabyGirl]

Thank you So much everyone for your wonderful replies and inputs. In one of the replies it says that the health issues have made someone a strong yet gentle character! That is so true for my boyfriend. He is so innocent sometimes it makes me giggle because he acts so nice. And this man is strong! When i catch a cold i act like its the end of the world and he looks at me funny! Coz he has battled wiht way more hardships then just a cold. He has a disease called Muscular Distrophy. He has been in his chair since 12 years of age. He can move his upper body but not the bottom muscles. In research i have learned that most people with his form of muscular distrophy do not live past their teens or early 20s because they can catch pnemonia or have bad respiratory problems which can stop their breathing due to the weak muscles.

 

I have talked with him aplenty about this and he tells me that we have to be positive, he will be turning 25 next month and we both just batttled a cold when i was with him last week and he got over it and is doin fine now. He says that we never know when our time comes and that we just have to keep going on together. He says he loves me dearly which really touches me .. His words are so touching and i know hes honest and pure, he proved it to me beyond a shadow of a doubt. I love him unconditionally and I am prepared to take care of him and see him happy all the days because he deserves it. I have worked in home care services before with patients and i pretty much know how to take care of disabled people. The thing is my parents and friends see it from a 3rd person perspective, they are afraid that in the end i will suffer and be devastated down the line if something happens to him. Like if we got married and had kids, then he leaves us and then me and my kids would go nuts...

 

But I cant just leave this man because of that, he will be the one devasted it could even kill him. He says that since we started going out, his whole outlook on life has changed and he feels so strong and healthy now. I came out of my depression as well. It was a very bad year for us last year before we met, both of us had broken hearts from past ex's and suffered a year of depression.

We both helped eachother in so many ways. Its hard to be in the LDR because of the time lost with him.. i feel that time with him is precious and it hurts waiting to see him because well...u know what im getting at...i could lose him someday although we dont wanna look at it that way.

 

I hope in time his parents will trust and love me as their own. My intentions are pure and I want nothing more then to make their son happy and be his love and companion. I dream that we both will get married and live togehter and just live our life like a normal couple, enjoying all the moments and cherishing the memories. Thank you everyone for reading my stories it means a lot to me. Thank you for your replies and prayers.

[ReluctantRomeo]

Go girl! And tell us how it works out...

[lil'miss naughty]

my mum has always told me that angels walk amongst us, I believe you are one of them.

Your heart is truly blessed. You have touched mine.

(this is me crying with happiness)

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[SadBabyGirl]

Yeah he is always saying im an angel too hehehe! I have a few pictures of us if any of my loveshack pals here would like 2 see. Ive contacted maury show as well as others wanting to try to have an episode based on people with muscular distrophy. I would like to bring my boyfriend on there as well and show the world how much i love him. I hope we can maybe raise awareness about the disease and work towards a cure that will slow the progression of the disease or stop it in its tracks completely. Something like this! Maybe his mom will believe me if i bring him on the show and propose then! hahaha! Well i hope im not daydreaming here but its a nice idea = Ok ya'll just checkin in ill be back around with updates! Wish Us Luck~!

[ReluctantRomeo]

Well, I'd love to see photos. Please be careful to keep at least a little bit of anonymity though, SadBabyGirl We are online on a public site, after all.

[RecordProducer]

Okay, people here call you an angel and perhaps that's how you want to feel yourself. If you really love this guy then don't hurry. You're so young and you just spent a week together. Of course he will do anything during these 7 days to please you. However, when you start living with someone things change sometimes. I hope everything is the way you say it is, but fact is you don't really know. Have you tried to help him do everything 24/7? Are you ready to do it for the rest of his (your) life? You want to do that after knowing him for a week? You will say you do, I can tell. Look, give your relationship some time. Do whatever you want, just don't get pregnant. Why do your friends think that he might die soon? I really don't understand that part. What's his disease?

Regarding your parents, if I were in their shoes, god, I would feel awful!!!! Apparently his parents feel awful too. Why do you think his ex-girlfriends left him? He is obviously cute and charming and gets girls easily, but he does something that makes them leave. I would also feel bad if I were in his parents' shoes, of course. He deserves love too. But if you rush into anything you risk to hurt him like these other girls did. You don't want that, do you? By the way, usually when the parents are against something, they are right!

Just enjoy your love and don't rush into anything, honey! If your love is real, it will last. Give it some time to prove everyone how serious you are!