theexfiance Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 So...I've been talking a lot on the break up forum about FB and social media and what it all means/how we should react to the things our exs post and do. Well...she sent me an e-mail this morning asking about a debt that is owed on a jewelry store credit card-christmas gift (she wanted to know if I would pay it, we would split it, or if she would pay it). I was tempted to be nice, but had no info to go off of. So I regressed to cyber stalking and checked out her e-mail and FB (NOT proud of this). She's talking to an old ex again. Been drinking with him. In fact she's been getting drunk constantly, advertising that she needs a distraction and nights out. Sleeping with several guys...found some notes in her e-mail about how she plans to "win" this guy. As if she even has to try...and just like that, my empathy flew out the window. I know this was wrong, but I feel ****ty and empowered all at once. It just confirms what a pathetic fu.ck.ed up mess she is through this. Swinging from guy to guy and getting drunk all the time. She's also been complaining to her FB friends that she developed a large lump on her throat where her thyroid gland is. I'm a hypocrite, but at least I stopped myself from being stupid because of "loving her." Someone please give me some perspective on all of this bull****.
Author theexfiance Posted June 30, 2014 Author Posted June 30, 2014 Who broke up with who? She broke up with me...I made a decision to pay for it and I did. In full. It was a gift during a time when things are good. However, I ignored the e-mail.
BC1980 Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 All of the FB stalking and email reading aside, your question about the credit card depends on what was purchased on the card. Who owes the money back? If it was something you bought, then you should pay it. If it was a joint gift, split it. If is was something for her, she can pay it. You assessment of her as an awful f*ckup really has no bearing on who should pay the credit card. Also, am I reading correctly that you are able to access her email account and read her emails? I sort of got that impression from your initial post, but correct me if I'm wrong.
BC1980 Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 I was tempted to be nice, but had no info to go off of. So I regressed to cyber stalking and checked out her e-mail and FB (NOT proud of this) What do you mean that you had no information to go off of? If you are actually serious about settling the credit card debt, then just ask her what the debt is. It's not breaking NC. It's just a fact that there are often joint finances that need to be settled, and it can be done without emotions involved. I know you are hurt, and you probably have every right to be. But you aren't helping yourself by being petty about a credit card and social media stalking.
Author theexfiance Posted June 30, 2014 Author Posted June 30, 2014 What do you mean that you had no information to go off of? If you are actually serious about settling the credit card debt, then just ask her what the debt is. It's not breaking NC. It's just a fact that there are often joint finances that need to be settled, and it can be done without emotions involved. I know you are hurt, and you probably have every right to be. But you aren't helping yourself by being petty about a credit card and social media stalking. To answer your first question, yes. And again, no need to be hostile, I'm not trying to be petty. When I said I have no information to go off of, I mean it's really difficult to separate the emotional from the financial when closing up this type of stuff. This was a jewelry store credit card. I bought her a gift for christmas and I hadn't finished paying for it. The info is important because of the enormous gap between what she says and what she does when we are talking about financial stuff: two totally different things. When we broke up, she told me that she was still in love with me and always would love me. She's especially nice when we need to settle a bill or whatever. In reality and outside of our conversations she is screwing three other guys and drinking til she drops. Now, I don't know about you, but I feel substantially less generous and willing to pay off a gift for an ex when all of this is happening IN ADDITION to me covering several overdraft fees on our accounts (I've already spent $341 cleaning up her messes this month). I'm not rich. This is all extremely emotionally and financially taxing. I'm sorry if you took offense and this all seems ridiculous to you, but at this particular juncture I have to sort myself out with whatever information I can get my hands on.
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