counterman Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 So I went out with this girl last Thursday night. We had a great time. The conversation was interesting and I flirted with her a bit. We went on a nice walk and when we kissed as well. Throughout the date, she was bringing up 'next time' - implying that there will be a next time we hang out. So when I dropped her off at home, I asked her when she was free next week. She said she was going on a trip for uni to another city and she'll be gone until next Wednesday (this coming Wednesday), she said she'll probably be free on Saturday and that I should text her when she comes back. We kissed goodnight and when I got home, I got a text from her thanking me for a good night and how she thought I was fun and attractive. I responded by saying that we should go it again soon and she said definitely. The day she left for her trip I sent her a text just wishing for her to have a great time and that I would talk to her next week (this week). She didn't respond to that. I'm guessing it's not really something that begs for a response but it would have been encouraging to receive one It's been a few days since then and I haven't heard from her. I want to set something up with her and I will try to - should I call or text? And is it normal to not have much (or any) communication between dates besides setting up and confirming dates? I thought we really hit it off
PegNosePete Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 she said she'll probably be free on Saturday and that I should text her when she comes back. You should text her when she comes back. And is it normal to not have much (or any) communication between dates besides setting up and confirming dates? "Normal"? No such thing as normal. My gf and I text about 10-20 times per day discussing all kinds of things. Other people like you say, only use text to arrange dated. There is no "rule", just do as you are both comfortable with. 2
clia Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 I agree that you should text her when she comes back and ask her out for Saturday, since that's what she told you to do. And is it normal to not have much (or any) communication between dates besides setting up and confirming dates? This obviously varies by couple (some people want to spend hours on the phone or texting), but I don't think there is anything abnormal about mainly just communicating to set up dates when you are that early into the relationship. 1
leavesonautumn Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 Meh, I think it all depends on the person. When I was dating this guy for a few weeks, we went a few days without talking in between dates or planned dates that I'd backed out of. There weren't any weird vibes. Plus, it's way better to communicate in person when you first meet someone. You want to avoid telling your life stories through text Who really knows, maybe when she saw your text she smiled to herself and put her phone away because she was busy. Text her when she comes back 2
d0nnivain Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 There's no such thing as "normal" It's different every time. Since she was away, it seems fine that you had no contact. Call her & ask her on the next date. 1
KathyM Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 Call her on Thursday and set something up for the weekend. I think women of all ages appreciate a phone call, and like to hear the guy's voice, moreso than a text, which is more impersonal. 3
Elle1975 Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 So I went out with this girl last Thursday night. We had a great time. The conversation was interesting and I flirted with her a bit. We went on a nice walk and when we kissed as well. Throughout the date, she was bringing up 'next time' - implying that there will be a next time we hang out. So when I dropped her off at home, I asked her when she was free next week. She said she was going on a trip for uni to another city and she'll be gone until next Wednesday (this coming Wednesday), she said she'll probably be free on Saturday and that I should text her when she comes back. We kissed goodnight and when I got home, I got a text from her thanking me for a good night and how she thought I was fun and attractive. I responded by saying that we should go it again soon and she said definitely. The day she left for her trip I sent her a text just wishing for her to have a great time and that I would talk to her next week (this week). She didn't respond to that. I'm guessing it's not really something that begs for a response but it would have been encouraging to receive one It's been a few days since then and I haven't heard from her. I want to set something up with her and I will try to - should I call or text? And is it normal to not have much (or any) communication between dates besides setting up and confirming dates? I thought we really hit it off Call her Thursday for Saturday. Set up the next date, yes. 2
Assasda Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 Wait on the day that you said you would call her to call her. Dont get needy and start sending "How are you"texts 1
Author counterman Posted June 30, 2014 Author Posted June 30, 2014 Thanks for you responses - I'll call her on Thurs to set something up for Saturday. I'm gonna call because I think it's just easier to plan that way. Before I had read the responses to this thread, I sent her a text asking how the event she went to was. If she doesn't reply to this, I won't be sending anymore. I'll just wait until Thursday to call her. Hopefully that one text doesn't turn her off. 1
Author counterman Posted June 30, 2014 Author Posted June 30, 2014 What time to call to avoid clashing if anything? I'm thinking after 9:30pm since I have something right after work or should I attempt earlier since it'll most likely be a Saturday date?
Elle1975 Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 What time to call to avoid clashing if anything? I'm thinking after 9:30pm since I have something right after work or should I attempt earlier since it'll most likely be a Saturday date? 9.30pm is too late to call someone, especially for a date. Call around 6/7pm. 2
Assasda Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 Who cares what time you call man. Forget about that. Youre already putting her on the pedestal. Call her when its convenient to you 1
JungleLover Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 It is good that she finds you attractive. Attraction is delicate somewhat like a bubble in the beginning stages of dating. Learning how to handle that bubble deftly comes with a whole lot of dates. The best way to go about it without that experience is a juggle between being thoughtful without over-thinking. Currently, you are over thinking and it is often the case when someone is focused only on one person while dating. I am not telling you to go out and find 6 more people to date. I am advising you to allow yourself to be human and make mistakes with her. Don't text her any more while she is away. When she returns, call her when you want to call her and ask her out for Saturday. 1
Author counterman Posted July 1, 2014 Author Posted July 1, 2014 I won't call her too late on Thursday I am over-thinking it and putting her on a pedestal. I just need to relax and just treat her as I would for any other girl. I'll call her when she comes back and hopefully something will come of it. She said that we definitely should hang out again, so I'm assuming she's still interested. I mean, if somehow those two texts that I have sent were mistakes and she's turned off, so be it. I am human, I make mistakes and I'll learn.
Elle1975 Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 I won't call her too late on Thursday I am over-thinking it and putting her on a pedestal. I just need to relax and just treat her as I would for any other girl. I'll call her when she comes back and hopefully something will come of it. She said that we definitely should hang out again, so I'm assuming she's still interested. I mean, if somehow those two texts that I have sent were mistakes and she's turned off, so be it. I am human, I make mistakes and I'll learn. If she is interested, you two texts were not mistakes. If you had sent 20 that'd be different, but you didn't. You're fine. Now call Thursday, and find out if she really is into you or not.
Author counterman Posted July 1, 2014 Author Posted July 1, 2014 If she is interested, you two texts were not mistakes. If you had sent 20 that'd be different, but you didn't. You're fine. Now call Thursday, and find out if she really is into you or not. Will do. She hasn't responded to my text as I expected. I'll just call her on Thursday and see how it goes. It was like this when setting up the first date as well. She didn't respond to 2 or 3 of my texts. And then one day she responded and the first date was set up. Between setting up the date and the date itself, I had only texted her the day before to confirm. There was 4 days where we didn't say anything to each other. I'm thinking even if I didn't confirm, she wouldn't have texted. We'll see how it goes
Author counterman Posted July 3, 2014 Author Posted July 3, 2014 So I called her today (Thursday) and it went to voicemail. I left her a quick message letting her know that I had a great time with her last week and that we should so it again this week, I asked her to call me back whenever she can so we can plan. I then realised my caller ID was off, so I sent her a text saying that asking her when she was free. I would say the ball is in her court now. If she's interested, she'll reply, if not she'll ignore it. I don't think I should call or text her again until she responds or should I try to call her around 6-7pm?
leavesonautumn Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 You're right, the ball is in her court now. Wait and see if she responds, if she doesn't then you have your answer and you probably shouldn't contact her after that.
Author counterman Posted July 3, 2014 Author Posted July 3, 2014 I called again but didn't leave a message. I'm sure she isn't interested anymore. I won't text or call her again. In hindsight, when she sent that text after our first date, I should have set up the second date with her then. I've had girls agree to a first date and flake. But never a girl who goes on a first date, says she enjoys it and is attracted to me and wants to do it again and flakes. It's a bummer but that's life. 1
sterlingarcher Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Why do women do that anyway? Why can't she just send you a simple text saying "sorry, not interested anymore" or something like that instead of playing stupid games?
leavesonautumn Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Next time you have a first date with a girl, try not to contact her so much afterwards. By that, I don't mean playing games but just cool it down a bit and contact her casually. I think you came on kind of strong by the end. "Women" don't do that. Everyone does it. After 2 dates with this guy, I had to tell him I was not interested in dating him anymore and he thanked me for my honesty. Before my ex I dated a guy casually for a month and he just stopped contacting me altogether out of nowhere. Please don't lump us into one
Author counterman Posted July 3, 2014 Author Posted July 3, 2014 I thought my two texts before what I did today wasn't too much, if she was interested. I agree, by the end, I came on too strong, too eager and that probably turned her off (if she wasn't already) or confirmed what she had already thought. Looking back, I would've set up a second date at the end of the first and wouldn't have contacted her until the day before the second date to confirm. I do wish she could've said she wasn't interested anymore but I know that wishful thinking. Out of all the girls I've dated or asked out on a date, only one said upfront she wasn't interested. It sucks. It was a fun date, we shared similar interest and passions. She asked a lot about me. I felt so encouraged afterwards. Ah well. I'll learn for next time.
Author counterman Posted July 3, 2014 Author Posted July 3, 2014 I know where I went wrong. I was way too focused on her. If I had kept things relaxed and casual then it would have been alright. When I am eager, she would've felt pressured. She did mention on the date that she wanted to take things slow. I suppose there's no recovery from this. What's done is done.
Gaeta Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 I know where I went wrong. I was way too focused on her. If I had kept things relaxed and casual then it would have been alright. When I am eager, she would've felt pressured. She did mention on the date that she wanted to take things slow. I suppose there's no recovery from this. What's done is done. Non sense. You did nothing wrong. She was not feeling you from the beginning. When a woman likes you there is very little that will turn her off. If I like a man I never NEVER leave one of his text unattended, even if I am in a hospital bed I will find a way to contact him. 1
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