quidproquo89 Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 A girl who comes into my shop told me that there is a band playing at the local pub and that I should come along. I turn up and the four of us break off t chat. I need to move my car and she and I walk alone chatting. She sticks with me the whole night and later we go and make out for quite sometime. She is rather drunk by now, so obviously I don't want to take advantage of her so I take her home. The phone signal is crap in my area so we don't exchange numbers but I ask her to find me on facebook and pop in my work the next day to chat. We hug and kiss again and she goes in. Today I have received no fbk request and she didn't come into the shop. I was a little disappointed but it isn't a big deal. She broke up from her ex 2 weeks ago, her decision and she invited me out and practically told me to make out with her. I'm hoping it wasn't just because she had had a few drinks, and rather that she is actually interested in me. Anyway I've just sent her a fbk request and sent a casual friendly message saying that I had a nice time, I'd like to see her sociably again and gave her my number. This is all fresh and sudden, and without the initial exchange of numbers, I'm not quite sure what will come of this. Thoughts?
Gaeta Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 Of course it was all her being drunk and trying to getting over the ex. You're chasing the wrong rabbit here. 1
Author quidproquo89 Posted June 30, 2014 Author Posted June 30, 2014 do you really think so. She seemed warm just toward me when she was sober.
bubbaganoosh Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 She just got out of a relationship. She still has some feelings for the other guy. She thought that with a few drinks and some new guy to make out with would get her through it. Doesn't work that way. She needs time to heal and get her old relationship out of her system. You were a band aid on cut that requires stitches. Move on and find someone who is free and clear from any hangups from a break up.
Author quidproquo89 Posted June 30, 2014 Author Posted June 30, 2014 that sounds like a good point. We haven't spoken since, but I'll make her see that it isn't a big deal and hopefully we can still be friends . You never know further down the line
ExpatInItaly Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 Sounds like she's trying to get over her ex by hooking up with someone else, then realized it's not to simple. Two weeks is very fresh; she will likely need longer than that. How long did they date? In any case, she has your contact info now. If she wants to get in touch, she will. Continue seeing other girls for the time being. 1
Author quidproquo89 Posted June 30, 2014 Author Posted June 30, 2014 the girl will come into the shop at some point, obviously I'm going to be casual and chatty, but should I completely ignore what happened and talk about other subjects? Btw, it seemed obvious to everyone, that we liked each other before we started drinking.
Fondue Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 She wanted to ride a new bike to forget her old one, man. I don't think she was genuinely interested in you. She was interested in your body, yes. BUt you didn't take "advantage" of the situation. The rules here are very gray. For one, you shouldn't take advantage of a women who had a drink because that comes off rapey, but at the same time, many women WILL have a drink so they loosen up and gain the "confidence" to flaunt it and "get some." It's ridiculous. You can never win. I understand you being a gentleman, but I also think she was expecting you to take charge. Then again, she might have sobered up and thought "RAPE!!" So you're probably right for being cautious. Women are weird, man. But I honestly think she was only looking for a screw. That's my $.02
d0nnivain Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 You were a rebound/ a distraction / a way for her to feel sexy & desirable again. Act as normal as possible if she comes back to the shop. You can ask her for a phone # and another date but there's no need to verbally dissect what already happened between you two 1
Author quidproquo89 Posted June 30, 2014 Author Posted June 30, 2014 She wanted to ride a new bike to forget her old one, man. I don't think she was genuinely interested in you. She was interested in your body, yes. BUt you didn't take "advantage" of the situation. The rules here are very gray. For one, you shouldn't take advantage of a women who had a drink because that comes off rapey, but at the same time, many women WILL have a drink so they loosen up and gain the "confidence" to flaunt it and "get some." It's ridiculous. You can never win. I understand you being a gentleman, but I also think she was expecting you to take charge. Then again, she might have sobered up and thought "RAPE!!" So you're probably right for being cautious. Women are weird, man. But I honestly think she was only looking for a screw. That's my $.02 that's disappointing, coz she came across as a decent girl, not one to use somebody or be after a one night thing. Thought she asked me out to get to know me
Author quidproquo89 Posted June 30, 2014 Author Posted June 30, 2014 also, should it be a rule in future not to kiss a girl while either one of you is drunk?
d0nnivain Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 also, should it be a rule in future not to kiss a girl while either one of you is drunk? Why? Lots of people kiss & do more then kiss while drunk. You did the honorable thing & didn't take advantage of the situation
Author quidproquo89 Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 Of course it was all her being drunk and trying to getting over the ex. You're chasing the wrong rabbit here. we hadn't really drunk that much, and she asked me out when sober. Stuck with me all night and me and others at the pub thought she really liked me. All before drinking. Also what kind of a person does this. You don't bring other people in to a break up. One minute I'm minding my own business. Why send people mixed signals and why encourage people if you wont nothing more. Am I the only one who thinks this is wrong and very frustrating. I would have been fine being friends, I didn't start this, but now I'm being ignored. What is this? Sounds weird that I'm hung up on this. But I live in a small isolated town and there aren't that many nice girls around .
Author quidproquo89 Posted July 20, 2014 Author Posted July 20, 2014 She just got out of a relationship. She still has some feelings for the other guy. She thought that with a few drinks and some new guy to make out with would get her through it. Doesn't work that way. She needs time to heal and get her old relationship out of her system. You were a band aid on cut that requires stitches. Move on and find someone who is free and clear from any hangups from a break up. do people really do that? Pick up guys to use them and then drop them? Also seems a bit of a waste, she hasn't been in the shop for weeks, which means she must mean she is avoiding coming in. - is it worth it - having to avoid a place and a person that you normally see regularly? It winds me up tbh, I didn't seek her out. I would have preferred her to wait or try to be mates - seems a bit twisted, using people like disposable objects
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