NYC-BigKat Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 (edited) Yea she told me this yesterday at the museum & um I was embarrassed the way it happened. I got to talking to her about the grizzly bear & she says it looks creepy & stuff & how she had nightmares about being chased by one when she was a little girl. I told her people called me grizzly when I was in HS & she laughed & I thought we was connecting & stuff. Um...then I got her number & text her later that night & told her she was pretty with nice skin & then she didn't reply for a long time so I text her again if she was okay & she then calls me creepy & I better not text her again. This hurt 'cause we was talking for 2 hrs & over a compliment I'm a creep. I ask her why & she says compliments creep her out & most girls don't want it. Is this how girls feel when a guy compliments them now ? Edited June 29, 2014 by NYC-BigKat more
Potz4prez Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 May have jumped the gun there, boy. It rubs the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose again. 1
Imajerk17 Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 If Tom Brady told her she was pretty with nice skin I don't think she would have objected. That said I am wondering how much detail you went into, and how your date went. Sounds to me that she wasn't into you. 3
travelbug1996 Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 girls like compliments. she's the one that's creepy. 2
Potz4prez Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 (edited) "Pretty skin" is probably second in creepiness to "You got pretty lips, mhmmm." Girls like appropriate compliments. Appropriate is dictated by person, place and time in the relationship. OP's compliment was too early, wrong place (not in the same area code), and possibly the wrong person. Edited June 29, 2014 by Potz4prez
nerdlingZA Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 SOME << women will think they're better than u from the moment u compliment them. 2
Author NYC-BigKat Posted June 29, 2014 Author Posted June 29, 2014 If Tom Brady told her she was pretty with nice skin I don't think she would have objected. That said I am wondering how much detail you went into, and how your date went. Sounds to me that she wasn't into you. Um...it wasn't a date. I met her at the museum & told her this over texts we had last night. I thought it was okay to say 'cause I seen my uncle tell girls this before & they usually say thank u & smile but she took it wrong!
MoooOinkBaaa Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 never compliment most woman unless she really deserves it and it's genuine. it would of been better if you were with her, touching her body and you said you have really soft skin, that would be natural. also most women don't like overly cutesy. anyways don't worry too much about this stuff because if they like you then you're your own get out of jail free card. i've gotten away with so much stuff "you're lucky i like you" (her own words). 1
d0nnivain Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 You didn't know her. Telling her she was pretty was probably OK. Telling her she had nice skin was over the top. This is why I advise guys who aren't smooth / suave / alphas to avoid compliments in the beginning. Men tend to be visual so the compliments tend to be about the way a woman looks. That emphasis on her physical appearance adds an inappropriate sexual aspect too early. You would have been better served to have simply said you enjoyed meeting her & inviting her to another museum with you. 2
clia Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 Tell us exactly what the text said. It just sounds like too much, too soon. You are a total stranger, had only met her that day and you were already texting her that night and then texting her again when she didn't respond to find out if she was okay. Too much. Too needy. Save the compliments for when you see a girl in person. When she shows up for the date, it would be fine to tell her she looks pretty. But texting that stuff when you barely know her is a little overboard.
normal person Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 Here's how it is for guys: If she likes you then flirting is probably welcome. If she doesn't like you then it's creepy. 3
KathyM Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 Telling a girl she has nice skin is a little weird at this point. And too much out of the blue. 1
Haydn Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 I would expect a girl to offer her hand and give me a macho handshake if i said that or possibly vomit over me. Going into a pub is not an episode of `Downton Abby` Much better to go out on a limb, (If a smidgen of interest is shown), maybe something like... `Get your coat your coming home with me` One can be imaginative to keep it sweet but simple 'I enjoyed our talk. You have a nice way about you' 'It's refreshing to meet someone so easy to talk to' Etc. Best to compliment her on a non physical attribute. 1
hasaquestion Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 I would expect a girl to offer her hand and give me a macho handshake if i said that or possibly vomit over me. Going into a pub is not an episode of `Downton Abby` Much better to go out on a limb, (If a smidgen of interest is shown), maybe something like... `Get your coat your coming home with me` Yes. "You've got such nice skin" makes you sound like a serial killer. "You have such a nice personality" makes you sound like a eunuch. Surely we can find a happy medium here. 2
Leroy82 Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 You said you were talking / texting for over 2 hours. I think the skink comment may have creeped her out but, I also think there is so much more you are not telling us that creeped her out more.
TXGuy Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 My guess is that she thought you were creepy (sorry) rather than the compliment. If her dream man said the same thing, I'm pretty sure she would have liked it. Try not to dwell on it too much. Dust yourself off and try again. Those things are confidence draining, but don't let that send you down a negative vicious circle (lowered confidence leads to less success leads to lower confidence...) It sounds to me like you did well in person and things didn't work on the follow up. Try to focus on the bright side. She seemed into you in person. Someone else will too.
EmptyinNV Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 cause I seen my uncle tell girls this before & they usually say thank u & smile but she took it wrong! Is he telling them this in person? There is a lot of a message that is missing from written communication than verbal. Take it as a lesson learned.
Author NYC-BigKat Posted July 2, 2014 Author Posted July 2, 2014 Here's how it is for guys: If she likes you then flirting is probably welcome. If she doesn't like you then it's creepy. Yea it sure looks that way . I thought I was being nice in telling her how I felt. I didn't know being nice & honest in telling a girl she has nice skin will make her get scared of me. I told my friend about it & he says she's weird & to forget about her 'cause people say things like having nice hair, nice eyes, nice teeth & everything all the time but I get crucified for it. I wanted to tell my uncle about this too but I didn't.
Shaun-Dro Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 (edited) Yes. "You've got such nice skin" makes you sound like a serial killer. "You have such a nice personality" makes you sound like a eunuch. Surely we can find a happy medium here. I guess I'm a serial killer then but haven't picked off any victims yet, but I certainly picked some up. I'm not surprised by more of Big-Kat's dating woes. It's become mundane to say the least. In my dating days I've always put my arms around women in the moment and told them they had great skin, smelled so intoxicating, and each and every one of them loved it. No problems there. Just last night I was at a local bar drinking it up and spoke with a younger woman about 25 or so and we got awfully close as the night waned on and I told her how juicy her skin felt and placed a few kisses on her shoulder. She loved it. Again, no problems. Maybe it's the way Big-Kat comes off that scares these dames. Maybe they look at him as just a friend with no dating potential so when comments he throws their way comes off awkward. But to call compliments creepy is the just ridiculous. Sometimes the dames overreact and call everything creepy these days. Let it go Big-Kat and forget the broad. Edited July 2, 2014 by Shaun-Dro spaces
preraph Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Compliments can be very awkward and it's mainly because we know you're just trying to sort of use them for your own goals. Conversation should be more real and casual than that. Of course, it's pretty much always acceptable when you pick someone up for a date to say "Oh, you look nice" but don't ever just keeping going on about it because that's creepy. A guy I dated years later used to compliment me and I just didn't believe he was sincere because he didn't know me well (a friend of my roommate) and it just put my antennae up, but mainly I regarded him as just kind of a not-serious guy who probably come on to a lot of women. Well, over the years of him being in my crowd, I began getting to know him more and eventually we went out for awhile. And he owned this little alternative kind of gothy/punky clothing store and told me he made certain things with me in mind (BEFORE we started actually dating). It was very odd but by then I wasn't afraid of him because he'd been around long enough, and it's true I did have my own special style, so I'd LIKE to believe it, but all that type thing is always suspect. He told me he'd always wanted to go out with me but I hadn't seemed interested. (I was always in love with someone else, plus him seeming kind of insincere to me). So you never know about compliments, and some guys can really get away with them because they seem so sincere and spontaneous, but it's the ones that seem contrived and rehearsed that fall flat, so it's tricky business. I always think you're better off complimenting someone on something they're good at rather than their looks. 1
todreaminblue Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Never lean in and say `You smell nice` most guys say this to me .....i dont find it creepy maybe because i notice they smell good too........lol...if you add mmmm and lick your lips it takes it to a different sort of level though.....that would be a bit of a move seats moment i did get creeped out a little when a guy said to me after he asked me to cuddle with him.... ohhh it feels good to have your arms around me...that there....creeped me out...... 1
haribogumsnickers Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Too soon for the compliment with her. Her proximity settings are on jedi master. Knowing is half the battle and you'll be cool the next time. At least you didn't ask her what she isn't wearing? I got no reply but it works better when under the influence.
jay1983 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Your pretty with nice skin is not creepy at all. She just wasn't attracted to you, so anything you said would have been wrong. It wouldn't have made any difference if you said "hey I liked talking to you" Live, learn and don't complement sh*t.
soccerrprp Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Yea she told me this yesterday at the museum & um I was embarrassed the way it happened. I got to talking to her about the grizzly bear & she says it looks creepy & stuff & how she had nightmares about being chased by one when she was a little girl. I told her people called me grizzly when I was in HS & she laughed & I thought we was connecting & stuff. Um...then I got her number & text her later that night & told her she was pretty with nice skin & then she didn't reply for a long time so I text her again if she was okay & she then calls me creepy & I better not text her again. This hurt 'cause we was talking for 2 hrs & over a compliment I'm a creep. I ask her why & she says compliments creep her out & most girls don't want it. Is this how girls feel when a guy compliments them now ? I've noticed that women are less receptive to compliments, but I suspect it has to do with the fact that so many are disingenuous, excessive and "creepy ." I'm certain that she was not into you during the date and using the compliment as another excuse to let you know that she's not interested. Women still enjoy compliments, but a guy needs to be careful of their frequency and nature. Telling her that her skin was nice may be a little "weird." Don't know. In the end, it could be that she didn't like your compliments b/c she wasn't really into you.
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