SOB86 Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 I used to walk around feeling abnormal for not having a girlfriend, for going months or even years between dates. Actually that is abnormal but I'm cool with it now. All of the pressure to date stems from my dad. When he was in his twenties he was in great shape, very outgoing, and able to pick up any girl he chooses. He seems to think I should be able to do the same. Maybe I could if I put some real effort into it, but I'm not like that. I'm not shy, just quiet, I like to think before I speak, and I don't reach out to other people because I often feel indifferent towards them. I do get lonely, I'm still human after all, but the pressure to be with someone usually comes from other people. They'll pester as to why I don't have a girlfriend, my dad even asked me if I was gay. WTF. I like playing video games, reading, writing, watching stupid videos on youtube. Most of the things I like to do don't require another person so I never feel a necessity to network with people. Going to restaurants and movies alone doesn't bother me either. I pay attention to other people who are in relationships. Sure it brings them a lot of happiness but there can be a lot of misery too. A friend of mine got married a few years back. I remember how controlling his wife was. He couldn't go anywhere or do anything without checking in with her. Even if we were hanging out at a bar he was glued to his phone giving her updates. Recently he went through a messy divorce. Thankfully they hadn't had any kids yet. Speaking of which I hate kids. I don't ever want to have any of my own. I'm too selfish and they cost a lot of money. I don't think they're cute and I easily get really annoyed with them. I'm still searching for a girlfriend, someone I'm compatible with, but I don't fret over it like I used to. Also I'm not trying to say being alone is better than being in a relationship, I'm just saying that's what works for me. If you're the family type then kudos to you. 2
LovemySons Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 You might change your mind someday when/if you find the right person. But as long as you're happy being single, good for you!
Lernaean_Hydra Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 Jesus Christ you sound so much like me if the sexes were reversed we could be twins. I'm not even sure what advice I have to offer you other than to keep doing as you are an ignore the white noise of those around you. You know what works best and if you find yourself forced into a relationship because you felt pressured by outside influences you will be miserable and resent being in that situation all the time much more than you would resent having to put up with people nagging you about your single status occasionally.
El Brujo Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 Yeah, I'm doing ok by being alone... if it happens, it happens... but it's definitely a step in the right direction if you know what bag you're in and you have a pretty good idea how to meet people who are in the same bag as you.
marcjb Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 I had the same view on things until I met my ex fiancé. I was single for 7 years prior, and it wasn't a huge deal for me. Now that I experienced that relationship I really want to meet someone I click with as I did her, but without the male "friend" drama. I fear that I won't meet someone I click with as well. With most women I don't, as it takes a very special personality for me to feel that way. I feel like too many women are superficial.
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