emotionsmessmeup Posted February 17, 2005 Posted February 17, 2005 I thought i was doing fine..but i am not.. i called him and cried... i asked questions about other girls... i did everythign wrong... texted him all day.. spoke to him for 1.5 hour... i did it all wrong... and he said i am bothering him again... i have lost me chance.... 5 years together...2 months since breakup... he finds me irritating... he was calling soemtimes when i stopped persuing....but he didnt wanna get back.. i just dont know.. he says he doesnt have another gf..i guess i believe him.... i feel so hurt...i think i am back to day 1... i dont know what i want anymore..... i dont know..... and i dont know how to get it... i am sick... my hope is dying... i still want him back and i dont know why.. he says he was not happy with me...that he doesnt wanna be with me... i wanna just forget everything..i do but then i have these days... god..i am a mess... god give me strength...please give me strength
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 17, 2005 Author Posted February 17, 2005 i guess loveshack is also angry with me now
beejsea2 Posted February 17, 2005 Posted February 17, 2005 I feel your pain...I'm living through the same pain...but I've decided to take control of my life. Today is the day 4 months ago that I came home and he was gone... 4 1/2 years, promises of marriage. I know the pain that you're in and I know I didn't want to hear this 4 months ago but give it time. When I posted here 4 months ago I never thought I'd be where I'm at today. I'm taking control of my life and I'm not going to let him still control me. I know it's hard but you need to do the NC thing 100%. It's like the saying if you love someone set him free, if he comes back to you it's yours, if it doesn't it never was. Let him go and take care of you...if it's meant to be...it will be!!
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 17, 2005 Author Posted February 17, 2005 i was doing it..but he kept calling... i just dont know right now i feel so weak
Pocky Posted February 17, 2005 Posted February 17, 2005 EMMU, You need to keep in mind that many of us are at work and may not be able to respond to your post as quickly as you'd like us to. As far as your ex-boyfriend you need to come to terms with the fact that your relationship is over. Stop asking him about women in his life. In all honesty, it's none of your business and your behavior is just exasperating the situation. You are not going to get over this and heal if you keep picking at the wound. You know it hurts you when he talks about other women, but you ask and put yourself in that situation. You know he doesn't want to get back with you, yet you continue to ask and then find yourself once again being rejected. Your boyfriend is not the person that's hurting you now, you're hurting yourself. The struggle to get over this is hard enough without you perpetuating the very things that hurt you the most. Haven't you been burned enough times now that you know not to put your hand in fire? Please stop talking to him. Please stop torturing yourself this way. Change your phone number. Don't answer his calls and if he does get you on the line tell him you're busy and hang up.
MassiveAtom Posted February 17, 2005 Posted February 17, 2005 OH those days, Those lonesome, dark, empty hours that seem to comsume the world and lock you in a solitary tomb of sadness and longing. Such fresh memories. EMMU, This is very hard. You're inside the emotion right now.. It might not seem like it, but it's the best place to be, right now. you'll move through it at your own pace and soon you'll see sunlight again. You're in the middle of grieving, and coping with the loss of love. It was comforting for me to know that the measure of the pain you feel, is comensurate with the love you showed. You're on the rollercoaster, at times you will feel like puking from the dips and loops and hairpin turns, and just when you think it's over, the ride starts again. Only this time, it's not so intense, it's not so deep. Everybody will tell you that Time will heal all wounds. You have to care for the wounds so that they don't leave disfiguring scars. Emotional wounds are actually good for you, IF you go into the opening and fix what's underneath. It's THAT care that'll help the wound heal without leaving terrible marks on your spirit. We're all here to help. Sometimes we're a little slow on the draw, but I assure you, LoveShack is in no way angry at to you.
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 17, 2005 Author Posted February 17, 2005 sorry pocky, i do realize it takes time for peopl to reply..sometimes u want to be conforted so badly...that u get impatient. his birthday is on the 25th...what do i do? i already told him ill call him to wish...that..that is the only day ill call.. now suddenly i dont want to
beejsea2 Posted February 17, 2005 Posted February 17, 2005 Please don't call him. You've ended the relationship let him go. My ex bday is in a few days and I was thinking of sending him a card but I realized that part of me hoped that he would think of me, miss me etc. and you may be using his bday as an excuse to contact him. You can't have 100% NC if you call him or bdays etc.
MassiveAtom Posted February 17, 2005 Posted February 17, 2005 Emmu, It's hard I know, I was just in your position two weeks ago. try refocusing yourself on what you need. Meet YOUR needs that exist outside of this guy. It very possible that you're ignoring your SELF. she will cry forever unless to pay attention to her. When you do show her affection, you'll find it nearly impossible to be bothered with this guy. What do YOU like to do that he didn't? Do that. Eat food that you like but he didn't. take awalk and visualize yourself happy without him. Reconnect with yourself and enjoy who you are. It'll help. I promise.
Pocky Posted February 17, 2005 Posted February 17, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup sorry pocky, i do realize it takes time for peopl to reply..sometimes u want to be conforted so badly...that u get impatient. his birthday is on the 25th...what do i do? i already told him ill call him to wish...that..that is the only day ill call.. now suddenly i dont want to You already know what I'm going to tell you about calling him for his birthday. I've already told you several times what I think you should do. You already know what you should do, but you keep hoping that someone is going to give you some miracle advice that's going to make it all better and you'll have him back and everything will be fine. I'm sorry, EMMU, but it won't be fine. He doesn't want to come back. He doesn't want to be with you. I don't even think he truly cares for you because if he did he would understand the destructive path you've put yourself on and he wouldn't answer questions he knows will hurt you. No one is going to make it go away. No one is going to make it all better for you. The only thing you can do is see how you can make it so it doesn't get any worse. Nothing will stop the pain, but your actions will certainly stop it from escalating. Now I'm going to ask you, EMMU, what are you going to do on the 25th?
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 17, 2005 Author Posted February 17, 2005 NC 100% birthday/no birthday
Pocky Posted February 17, 2005 Posted February 17, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup NC 100% birthday/no birthday YAY!! You got it, babe!
sundrop Posted February 18, 2005 Posted February 18, 2005 EMMU, I went through the same thing and I am still going through it, wanting to call and talk.... And this is what I had to do... I had to turn my phone off... I called all my friends and family and told them that I was turning my phone off on the nights that I felt like calling. It's tuff, but it's the best thing. Don't call him because if you do and he does get annoyed it is making it worse. I won't my boyfriend back more than anything, but when I call him he gets irritated and it makes matters worse. So when you feel like calling him, turn off your phone and hide it from yourself..... And do not call him on his birthday, no email's, no text messages, NO CONTACT.....
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 18, 2005 Author Posted February 18, 2005 thanks girl. I hope something good is in store for all of us. we deserve it. i see so many single ppl its scary its very scary..
greenhorn Posted February 20, 2005 Posted February 20, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup thanks girl. I hope something good is in store for all of us. we deserve it. i see so many single ppl its scary its very scary.. Why its scary to see single people ? Are we not humans ... rather i pity the couples cause i know they would breakup one day
greenhorn Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup not always I wish though
jcs0521 Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 My ex's bday on the 25th too I'm not going to contact him at all, would not make anything better, however much I wanted it to.......I figure I got thru Valentines ok, so I can get thru his bday just as fine. I still think about him, but things are getting better with NC, starting to have more good days than bad days now. Be strong.
greenhorn Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by jcs0521 My ex's bday on the 25th too I'm not going to contact him at all, would not make anything better, however much I wanted it to.......I figure I got thru Valentines ok, so I can get thru his bday just as fine. I still think about him, but things are getting better with NC, starting to have more good days than bad days now. Be strong. Yeah thats right..i also did the same..my ex b'day was on 11th Feb and that was exact 2 months of NC.I didnt wish my ex b'day and i got over it and same with V-day and it was same with New year day... If you are determined not to wish then you can do it..... Good Luck
sundrop Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 I'm feeling weak today too. He's back at home after being out of town for two weeks. It's killing me not to email or call. I want to hear his voice so bad. So I choose to come to LS instead, I feel like I'm going to die.
greenhorn Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by sundrop I'm feeling weak today too. He's back at home after being out of town for two weeks. It's killing me not to email or call. I want to hear his voice so bad. So I choose to come to LS instead, I feel like I'm going to die. Coming to LS is always a better option and i always do the same.Remember you might feel worse after calling him or mailing him so dont take the chance.Bear the lesser pain for saving yourself from bigger pain. Good Luck ,
sundrop Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 Thanks Greenhorn, That's what I was thinking.
greenhorn Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by sundrop Thanks Greenhorn, That's what I was thinking. I can say this cause it has happened to me so many times. i feel bad then i would call and then i would cry so i thought its better i feel sad than i cry. cool!!
sundrop Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 I'm just like evryoe else here ho wants to get back with their ex. I keep thinking if I don't call him then he will forget about me. Then I remimber what my friends say, If you do call him, then how can you give him the time to miss you...... Oh, gosh it stinks....
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