Author Nickierose19 Posted June 30, 2014 Author Posted June 30, 2014 Well it's not that type of thing. He's never tried to ruin a marriage. He would never get serious with a MM he thinks that's senseless. Hmmm touchy subject for sure. I am more on the side of personal choice for the so called "cheaters" in marriages. Not every relationship lasts forever. Sometimes the transition to a new relationship takes place unexpectedly and going outside the marirage is what may bring it about. Now of course the above paragraph sounds absolutely void of morals to some people, but when you think about it in terms of a whole life view, it is somewhat of a neutral matter. Marriages and relationshps do end. Its really foolish and more painful to hang on to this idea of permanancy and ownership over other peoples lives. Married people have a contract with each other. If I decide to sleep with a married woman, I am not thinking about some guys wife and kids. There is no obligation on my part to honor his family just because its there. I have no relationship with the guy or the kids, my relationship would be to the cheating wife. Just because the guy had a family with her and married her does NOT mean he owns her for life....THough alot of guys think like that and are shocked when they find themselves alone. Conversely, if I was a married guy and my wife was cheating on me, I would not try to go beat up the other guy or try to talk to him. Me and that dude have no relation to each other. My relationship is with my cheating wife. Now having said all that, would I use discretion? Absolutely. It would have to be a case by case decision. Blanket statements such as "sleeping with married women is bad" fails to take into account real world complexities. But I agree with most of what you're saying here it's totally understandable even if that's something I would chose not to do.
Author Nickierose19 Posted June 30, 2014 Author Posted June 30, 2014 People make mistakes. And some of the mistakes are a little more complicated than just people being terrible people. I myself had a brief emotional/somewhat physical affair with a married woman a few years ago. I dated a woman who had a nine year-long affair with her married boss. The girl I'm dating now dated a married man for a while, then found out he was in fact, recently married, and had a bit of a time detaching. I tend to care more about how someone treats me, not what they've done in the past. The fact that they "might" cheat doesn't really enter into it that much. Anyone might cheat. Yeah that's what I focus on too I guess I like to know the pattern but there seems to be none at all.
Author Nickierose19 Posted June 30, 2014 Author Posted June 30, 2014 I think people talk way too much about their sexual past these days. I don't care who someone slept with and its none of their business who I've slept with unless...its someone I we both know and will be around. But I make that clear to women ahead of time. Yeah I can understand that I don't make it my business to know everything about his practices I just happen to have known him for 5 years now.
sisa Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 so I was with a married man before, just broke up, do you think I should tell this history to my future bf?
Author Nickierose19 Posted June 30, 2014 Author Posted June 30, 2014 so I was with a married man before, just broke up, do you think I should tell this history to my future bf? that's up to you. My bf didn't tell me afterwards I already knew since I've known him long
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