Ex bf contacted long lost female friend within a week after break up

[nur333]

Hello everyone,

 

My ex bf and I were together for 5 years. In 2012 he dumped me once. He said it was because he felt like I was accusing him on things that he didn't do. For the next couple of months I was begging, crying, but he basically just gave me cold shoulders. I started to think he has moved on so I didn't initiate any contact anymore and neither did he for one whole month. Out of the blue he contacted me again, saying sorry, he regretted it all etc, and not long after we got back together.

 

Just 2 weeks ago, he ended the relationship again saying he's not happy. Everytime we had disagreement and ended in argument, he would ignore me for one whole day. When he came back, i'll be nagging at him bcos he ignored me. So he said he is unhappy,too much fights. 2days after the broke up, he sent me 2 lengthy emails expressing how much he loves me, wanna marry me, not gonna look elsewhere etc BUT he only wanna remain in contact via email. I replied to him and disagree to just communicate via email. He then replied back that he doesn't love me anymore, don't worry about it, he is not interested in trying at all now.

 

In less than a week he started to look for the old female friend that he hasnt contacted after being together with me. He recently told me he's not interested in having relationship for now but he talks to this girl at all time and told her his relationship didn't turn out well. My ex bf has deleted all my pics, all his sweet emails, texts etc that was for me. He didn't do this the first time we broke in 2012. He told me to move on, don't have false hope, give him some space, and he said he will just go with the flow. Let things come naturally. Don't force or rush things. He still emailed me every now and then but basically it was just regarding his day and he seems very distant.

 

I no longer harass him, i dont initiate contact anymore. I'm still in love with him, because I know it was partially my fault too. I feel very devastated and upset. How can he said he has moved on and don't miss me or love me anymore so quickly. We've supported and spent so much time together for the past 5years. This girl he's in contact with now is a nice girl.I knew her for a bit. I feel like my ex won't even think and miss me in any ways because she's nice and nothing much she can do to annoy him.

 

I'm sorry for typing too much. I need some advice and support i'm feeling very down. Is he completely over me and no chance of getting back together? . Thank you in advance

[nur333]

Just now, the girl he actively keeping in contact with tell me that, he said to her yesterday that he is not into me anymore and don't wanna get back together. he's not into it.

 

Perhaps it's a clear sign that nothing will make him changed his mind ey? I'd like to hear your opinions and input regarding this. I feel very devastated and depressed. Take care guys

[LostConfused123]

How are you doing??

Don't really have any advice. Well maybe but it's painful. I say go hardcore NC!!

Have you read the NC guide? It seems your only hope right now.

I'm sorry. I know you're in a lot of pain but we're here for you!

((hugs!))

[David87]

The best advice you have from him :He told me to move on, don't have false hope, give him some space, and he said he will just go with the flow.

 

He wants space then give him space (of course its not fare but thats life sometimes) You deserve much better. Initiate NC and try to move on .

[artsygirl78]

As painful as this is - and believe me, plenty of people on this site can really empathize with what you are going through - having COMPLETE NC is the only way to go. His actions and behavior are sending a clear signal that you are NOT his first choice - he is treating you like you are his back-up plan in case something doesn't work out with someone else.

 

You deserve to be with someone that is emotionally available, that is not fickle, does not shut down just because you have expectations or are upset. None of us is perfect, and in the middle of a painful breakup it is VERY EASY to take on the role of the martyr and see yourself and your faults as being the "only reason" why a relationship doesn't work out. It takes two people to build a relationship that lasts. Please, please try to be kind and compassionate to yourself. There is someone else out there who will value you as special, want to be with you, and during the tough times, stick by your side to work things out. Cut out this guy from your life, you deserve better!!

[lesdeuxsoleils]

I know it may seem hard but you have to CUT ALL CONTACT as other posters have said. Apologies if it's harsh but this guy is really not worth it. He doesn't seem to care at all and seems to have moved on since a while it seems like.

 

You should never beg a guy but I know love can make people do things they wouldn't otherwise. Build up your self-esteem, I know it hurts. If he doesn't care, treat him like a doormat as hard as it may seem. Stand up for yourself, you'll get stronger.

 

Who cares about the other girl, you certainly shouldn't! You shouldn't even be analysing his life. He's out of yours, you need to be out of his. No communication whatsoever, life will get better in time and you WILL move on.

[Griesfootball]

You didn't cheat or lie, it seems he takes the easy way out. If someone dumped me twice I don't think I would come back a third time