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couldn't make it to our date and there is a problem now


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Posted (edited)

We were about to meet yesterday after 2 weeks without seing each other (she was sick for one week) for our third date (after we had 2 romantic dates and we kissed a lot.

I asked where to pick her up and she told me where and when. Just when I was about to go out I got a call from work and was urgently called to take care of something in the office.

I called her immediately to tell her I'm sorry and explained kind of what's going on. Later on around 2:00am I was calling again to tell her exactly what happend and she seemed very interested to hear what happend and we both confirmed that tommorrow would be ok to meet.

Now today I was texting her before noon "tonight 9:30?" and she didn't replied my message. I called her now (evening) to check with her if we're going to meet and she doesn't answer.

Made her somehow loosing interest? Anything except forget about her is possible right now?

Edited by guy032
Posted

Don't go immediately to the worst case scenario.

 

Shortly before you have to leave to go get her, try again.

  • Like 1
Posted

You blew it by calling her at 2am and heavily explaining to her what happened. It looks too suspicious when you call in the middle of the night, defending your actions(AGAIN). It looks like a cover up. I would feel the same way. She's thinking it's all bull s hit.

  • Like 3
Posted

Were you invited to call her at 2:00 a.m. ? If not then that was your mistake.

  • Like 1
Posted

Forget about her.

 

That calling at 2:00 a.m. was suspicious. I'm not sure I would want to see you again...

  • Like 1
Posted

Hard to say. I would give her a chance to come around. In a day or two (but no more) I would call her - or if you can't get through then send a text - and say you're really sorry that the date got messed up and you'd like to make it up to her, when she's free. You're looking forward to seeing her again (so she can't mistake your message) and you'll wait to hear from her.

 

That puts the ball in her court, after you've clearly stated what you want.

 

If she calls, then you're fine. If she doesn't, then you know what she really feels and you should then let it go - knowing you've given it your best shot.

 

Some poepe are really sensitive and quick to jump to conclusions about other people's motivations. she might be like that, she might not. Give it a bit of time to see.

  • Author
Posted (edited)

She replied with "wow I'm so sorry I didn't answer you all day long I just had no time at all. I'm sorry I can't meet today :'("

 

I'm not going to reply for this.

Edited by guy032
Posted

I would guess she is game playing with that last text she sent, but I don't know her personally it could be she got busy with something or someone else and would rather do whatever else is going on.

 

Either way, just respond nicely, tell her to have a good time or day and reach out to her in another day or two if you want.

Posted

Never call someone you just started dating at 2:00am! Very disrespectful! Even if it wasn't seen as disrespectful it would be seen as thirsty. Your best bet now is to back way off and make sure to put the ball in her court. Say something like, 'Looking forward to seeing you again. Get in touch with me when your available'. That way your not looking so needy, your not repeatedly calling her, and if she's not interested she just won't return the call. You've already gone out of your way to explain and apologize. That's all you can do.

Posted

Classic passive aggressive move on her part. Or in laymen's terms, tit for tat.

 

Sorry hun. If you want to continue pursuing her you are going to have work double time on this one. If she's worth it, go for it but if not, chalk it up to a lesson learned on what NOT to do the next time.

 

Good luck.

  • Like 3
  • Author
Posted (edited)

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Edited by guy032
Posted (edited)

I call bs on most of these responses. I think you all are being way too hard on the OP.

 

He had to reschedule a date for a legit reason. He called as he should have then he called again after work. It might have been unnecessary/a bit much. His heart was clearly in the right place though.

 

She also answered his 2am call and it sounds that they had a good conversation.

 

Compare the op's behavior to some of the far worse behavior women on this site have put up with from the men they were seeing, and kept on seeing.

Edited by Imajerk17
  • Like 1
Posted

In my opinion as a woman, you should keep trying. She will eventually forgive you. Us women forgive easily when it s just at the beginning and with something so small.

 

And if you keep trying it shows that you were genuinely busy that evening..and you're still interested in her. Good luck!

Posted
She replied with "wow I'm so sorry I didn't answer you all day long I just had no time at all. I'm sorry I can't meet today :'("

 

I'm not going to reply for this.

 

Why you are not going to reply to this?

 

You like it when women just ignore your text and leave you in limbo? So don't do it yourself. Treat others the way you would like to be treated EVEN if they don't do you the courtesy of treating you well.

  • Like 1
Posted

A woman that truly has a strong interest in a man wouldn't be "busy all day" and conveniently bail out on a date. She's being a cow.

 

I wouldn't reply to the message either.

 

Personally I thing the OP has dodged a bullet.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted (edited)

I replied with "O.k if you would like to meet tell me" just today at morning

Edited by guy032
Posted
A woman that truly has a strong interest in a man wouldn't be "busy all day" and conveniently bail out on a date. She's being a cow.

 

I wouldn't reply to the message either.

 

Personally I thing the OP has dodged a bullet.

 

At least you rescheduled the date right away and seemed remorseful about cancelling. She just simply never answered when it was the day of the date and waited until the next to say I was busy? She couldn't at least say the date wasn't happening? I would move on if it were me.

Posted

It is hard to imagine that you would be getting the same replies if you were a woman who rescheduled on a man.

 

Beside calling at 2am (that was a bit odd, yes), you did nothing wrong.

 

You rescheduled, had a legit excuse, and followed up. That's what is expected of you.

 

I dunno why people are being hard on you for rescheduling. It happens to EVERYONE. It happens to ladies, too.

 

You don't deserve the heat you're getting for this.

 

With that said, let her cool for a bit. I wouldn't want to hang with someone who doesn't respect me after I tried my best with them.

Posted

Beside calling at 2am (that was a bit odd, yes), you did nothing wrong.

 

You rescheduled, had a legit excuse, and followed up. That's what is expected of you.

The 2:00 a.m. call was beyond a bit odd. It was wrong to phone someone at that time of night and expect an enthusiastic response.

  • Like 3
Posted
The 2:00 a.m. call was beyond a bit odd. It was wrong to phone someone at that time of night and expect an enthusiastic response.

 

I agree with you.

 

I didn't say the call was warranted.

 

I actually thought that was a bit stupid, actually.

 

I thought you guys just jumped on him about the rescheduling part. Which happens to everyone. It is unfair to judge someone on having to answer a work emergency. ****, I would know. I work in healthcare. I get that stuff all the time. If I was with a woman who didn't understand, I'd not want to be with her. And it is just the same the other way around.

 

Instead of the call though, I would have probably sent an email the next morning explaining what happened. Or at least a long text apologizing and letting her know that this thing occurred and it was in no way related to her, and that I'd still like to see her again.

Posted

There was nothing wrong with rescheduling for a legitimate reason. You did the right thing & told her immediately.

 

I would like some clarification about the 2 a.m. phone call. I didn't really understand that myself.

 

Her response may have been legit. I'm glad you put the ball back in her court.

 

If you do like her, call her later in the week & try to arrange something. Otherwise you may never hear from her again.

Posted

She might have issue with the last minute thing? Give the woman some notice! I thought that was only to be expected? 2am call is unusual but not that big a deal.

Posted

All dating stuff aside... who calls at 2 AM to explain situations to anyone?

MANNERS, PEOPLE. MANNERS.

  • Like 5
Posted

People it's not just the time of the call but him explain himself again would lead to suspicion. It is behavior that would be looked at as a cover up, so her suspicion is leget , BUT how she handled it was very immature which should be looked as a big red flag.

 

He can reschedule all he wants that is his choice, if he feels she is worth it BUT don't be sucking up to her, she doesn't deserve it.

 

****Communication is key, the OP needs to step up and ask if she is upset, does she have a real interest in dating, etc. Frickin call her out on it instead of being mift at her lack of response.

Posted
I call bs on most of these responses. I think you all are being way too hard on the OP.

 

He had to reschedule a date for a legit reason. He called as he should have then he called again after work. It might have been unnecessary/a bit much. His heart was clearly in the right place though.

 

She also answered his 2am call and it sounds that they had a good conversation.

 

Compare the op's behavior to some of the far worse behavior women on this site have put up with from the men they were seeing, and kept on seeing.

 

I agree but I don't understand why the OP wouldn't reply to her, considering everything. If she's not being passive-aggressive, then that starts a problem. And if she is, it just perpetuates it. Either way, it's childish.

Edited to add: never mind; I see the OP replied eventually.

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