Kaiten Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 Me and my roommate are long time friends. Over 10 years now. He has been known to be in relationship after relationship...after relationship and to me, as far as that goes, to each his own. I haven't really delved into his business on that. He brags about it, and he and I disagree (in a friendly way) on it because I don't think it is something to brag about. So anyway, I moved in with my roommate about half a year ago. Everything has been working out just great, except for this one thing where he had his girlfriend over every single day (she would spend the night every time too), and she was always doing random things around our house, which she does not live in. Well see, I thought they were in love; probably getting married soon. According to my friend, they have been fighting a lot and breaking up on and off - on and off. We all know that couple, don't we? So I overheard them have a long ass argument one night in another room and it was on a night that we all had company over, so you can imagine that the awkwardness and discomfort was palpable. Let's call my friend/roommate "Dan" and his gf "Anna". The part of the argument that stood out to me was this: DAN: "I'm a grown man. I do what I want." ANNA: "Okay, but I just want to talk about this. I don't want to argue." DAN: "I do...whatever the f#ck...I want." They broke up. I was glad. Very glad. Because both of them were investing entirely too much into each other considering they had only been dating 4 months and were already on the rocks. I do not like his girlfriend very much for him, but I don't say anything because my opinion of her doesn't matter. So Dan, (who is my roommate) says to me one night while we are talking: DAN: (jokingly) "Yeah, I'm just a shallow guy. But that's fine because I admit that. And I accept the fact that I'm shallow." ME: "..." DAN: "Yeah, so I know that me and Anna aren't gonna work out. She doesn't have enough ass. I'm an ass man." ME: "Why don't you just break up with her?" DAN: "Well, I'm trying to." ME: "Wait what?" DAN: "I'm trying to be as much of an a##hole as I can so that she will break up with me and not want to get back with me." ME: "Wait, why don't you just break up with her?" DAN: "Because if I break up with her then there's a chance she'll wanna get back together; there'll be cryin' and arguin' and I don't have time for it. So I'm gonna be an a##hole so that she'll hate me and then not want to get back together again. I'm having another girl over tonight. I'm gonna have sex with her." ME: "You're gonna cheat on Anna?" DAN: (nods head) At this point, I have had it. Now Anna isn't my kind of girl in any way, shape or form, but I this is just too much. Believe me, I know how hard it is to realize that you want to break up with someone who loves you, and I have learned that many lessons from that experience. I really feel like Anna doesn't deserve this. Yeah, she's clingy. Yeah, she interjects in conversations. But that is the girl he chose to be with. In all honesty, I feel that my friend is making excuses about the scenario he's in, just because he wants to see how much he can get away with and still have Anna on the side. Tell me your thoughts. Because I feel that if you want to call yourself a man then you have to be upfront and honest with the woman you chose. Like f#ck the bullsh#t. Anna won't even know Dan cheated on her unless Dan tells her, which I doubt he would since he doesn't have the sac to just tell her he wants to break up. It probably isn't any of my business, but Anna doesn't deserve this and if there is one thing I can't stand to see it's dishonesty in a relationship. I feel like I'm in an episode of What Would You Do Please share what you think about this. My verdict: It's borderline emotional abuse.
amaysngrace Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 He's now trying to get you involved to tell Anna he's cheating on her so that she will break up with him like he wants her to but it probably isn't happening quickly enough for him so now he's counting on you. Be a good friend and help him out.
preraph Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 I think he's lying and pretending this is all his idea to break up but she's really the one fed up with him because he's clearly been an ass and not only doesn't want any type of commitment but actually gets nasty and defensive and all up on his high horse. If she would stick it out and put up with his s**t (I do whatever the F I want), he'd keep her and as many other girls as would put up with him. I think he's trying to make himself look like some genius who has to carefully rid himself of women because that's such a HUGE problem for him. I'm calling bullsh*t. If it were me, I'd look him right in the eye and say "Sounds like bullsh*t to me." He sounds like a very immature guy who's mainly trying to impress other guys on a very childish level. 2
Author Kaiten Posted June 29, 2014 Author Posted June 29, 2014 Don't do anything, because this isn't your mess. Sometimes I wish I could take that way out. But even though he is my long time friend, I don't think that being true to who I am, that I can associate with such dishonesty.
gaius Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 There was a thread a while back just like this, where some woman found a diary that admitted some cheating was going on. Most people advised her to "do the right thing and tell her" and of course she did and it ended up terribly for her. Regretted she ever did. People here give some awful advice sometimes. 99% of the time neither party really wants an outsider interfering in their relationship like that. You would be stressing your relationship with your roommate to tell his girlfriend something she probably knows already on some level and doesn't want to hear.
AnneT1985 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 I firmly agree with Gaius and Keenly and those who say this isn't your mess. Good luck! xx
Keenly Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Sometimes I wish I could take that way out. But even though he is my long time friend, I don't think that being true to who I am, that I can associate with such dishonesty. Then stop associating with them. You have no right to butt in.
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