Georgia2014 Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 My ex-fiancée and I just broke up last Saturday. I feel so confused due to the breakup. I've had break ups before but it was different with those. The other relationships we had drifted apart. I really loved my ex-fiancée so when he lied and betrayed me it was over. He didn't cheat or anything but he treated me totally the opposite than he promised. He won't even tell me why he did the things he did and said that caused the break up. Since I won't ever find that out that is one reason I'm hurting so bad. I trusted him and he betrayed me. This week I have been watching one of my favorite tv shows and doing a craft I love to try and help with the pain. I also take my dog for more walks than I used to.
JingleBab Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 Exercising works wonders. Physically you'll look great and mentally you'll feel better.
d0nnivain Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 Give it some time. The grief & betrayal are still very fresh. As you heal, your confidence will return but it won't happen overnight
lauri Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 Best advice I can give you is taking your time. I made the mistake of attempting to "fast" track my healing to get over my ex but all it did was constantly bring me back to square one. Getting over betrayal is extremely difficult...I'm not going to ask exactly what your ex did but if you ever need to vent you know you can here. You'll probably never find out the "real" truth about why your ex did what they did...so its something you will have to come to peace with in the future. I'm not going to lie that you're going to go through a lot of difficult times ahead. If you stick to no contact, focus on healing and building a better version of you, every passing day things will get easier. 1
theexfiance Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 My fiancee of 2 years recently left me as well. I'm sorry that this is happening to you and if you ever need to talk to someone who gets it, shoot me a message. As for your question...I think it starts with just learning to love yourself again. Remind yourself that this isn't your fault. The choices others make are theirs and theirs alone. Find a new activity that makes you feel good about yourself. For example: today I started boxing at a gym with a personal trainer. Something I NEVER would have done while I was with my ex. Does it completely erase the pain? No. Of course not. Nothing but time and growth will do that. But it helps a hell of a lot. Find something new you never had the courage to do before. You just might find that you're braver than you think and you'll start to have confidence in how much you have to offer. No one deserves to be cheated on. Just remember: You're worth it to someone out there. Be patient
sugarlove Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 The reason you are feeling so much pain is for basically a mixture of regret, pride and hurt. Not getting past those is stalling your healing progress but you have to allow yourself time to grief. Blocking those normal emotions after going through a break up will only cause them to blow up in other areas like confidence, loneliness etc. Let yourself feel the pain, cry if that's your thing, exercise if that's your thing, just let the feelings be. Knowing that the more you allow them to surface, the less they will be bottled inside and eventually, there will none left to feel. Remember this, you don't miss him.. you miss the idea of him. The man you anguish yourself over, he doesn't exist. Look at the reality for what it is. He hurt you, he knew he did but is he doing anything about it? No. This is who he is showing you, do you think this guy deserve you pining over him? Do you really need a reason why? Will that give you closure? Closure is a very vague term dumpees used to hold on to hope. The fact is him breaking up with you is enough closure. He is not the one for you, you deserve someone who is willing to communicate with you, tell you the real reasons behind his change, sit you down and work things out. If he doesn't think you are worth it, then HE is not worthy for you. You deserve someone so much better, truer and stronger.
Author Georgia2014 Posted June 29, 2014 Author Posted June 29, 2014 I want to thank everyone here for the great support. After reading the replies I plan on joining a local indoor year round pool since I love swimming. I especially want to thank sugarlove. Sugarlove seems to know exactly how I feel. It's not him I am missing just the idea of him. I know when the time comes I will meet the right guy. Thank you again to everyone who replied! 1
Recommended Posts