geebelle Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 After we broke up I begged and begged, cried and tried my best to make him care it didn't work and now I feel stupid and embarrassed. I also feel as though I lost my identity. I don't even feel confident or attractive anymore really. I did nothing wrong in the relationship besides nag and complain about not being treated right .. 2
me85 Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 I'm sorry. Hugs to you! It will get better in time. I have been feeling the same way lately, as far as not thinking I'm as attractive as I used to be, even though I get a lot of compliments from men all the time. Still, I was left for someone else and I recently just saw a picture of my ex's new gf in a bathing suit and it made me feel a bit insecure. I have a great figure, I'm just very fair skinned and not as in shape. (Granted this girl is 6 years younger and athletic) My advice to you would be to start making yourself feel better by doing things that make you happy. If you want to get healthier and work on your appearance then start now. I've decided to start working out, using self tanner lotion to feel more attractive and I know it's going to work. Best wishes, J 2
me85 Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 We have no control over our exes or what they do but we have control of ourselves and what we do. Take back the power by filling your day with productive fun things to do. We can't keep ourselves from thinking about them all the time but we CAN keep ourselves from obsessing over them. When he pops into your head just try to redirect your thoughts to something on tv or by playing a video game, heck, even by taking a relaxing bubble bath and listening to music if you don't want to make plans to go out with friends or family. By the way, don't feel bad...I pined and begged for my ex to reconsider too. You were not the first to do this and you won't be the last one either. 3
love1336x Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 I know a girl who got on her knees and begged for her ex back. She cried, and then tried to killed herself. Now of days she's happily married to a man who treats her like gold. The point of the story is just because it seem dark and sad. You will find that person who will love you. You gain back your pride and dignity by living life one day at a time. 4
Js2493 Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 Get a pencil and paper. Write down every single thing that makes you unsatisfied, low, not yourself, insecure, etc. Basically anything you can control that can be changed to better yourself. Then write down the steps you can take to reach your goals. Don't cheat yourself and give it your best effort. Use the emotion you have bottled up inside of you as motivation. Once you start to see results, you'll start feeling better about yourself. I begged my ex to come back when she tossed me aside like I never mattered. I swore to myself after that, that I would make her regret it by being the person I could be. That's what you gotta do. 4
JDPT Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 write what you did in the past off. Start from scratch and work diligently towards finding yourself all over again. 1
Author geebelle Posted June 29, 2014 Author Posted June 29, 2014 I really appreciate all of your advice. And I think what makes this thing harder is that fact that I keep looking at his social networks and he's posting pictures of all these girls and I find myself comparing myself to them. But you all are right .. One day at a time. 1
LostConfused123 Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 I really appreciate all of your advice. And I think what makes this thing harder is that fact that I keep looking at his social networks and he's posting pictures of all these girls and I find myself comparing myself to them. But you all are right .. One day at a time. I want you to listen to me!! DON'T LOOK AT SOCIAL MEDIA!!! Please. please. please, don't look anymore. One day you will see something that can't be "unseen" Trust me. I still have those images in my head. Message me instead. We're all here for you! ((hugs!!)) 4
Author geebelle Posted June 29, 2014 Author Posted June 29, 2014 I want you to listen to me!! DON'T LOOK AT SOCIAL MEDIA!!! Please. please. please, don't look anymore. One day you will see something that can't be "unseen" Trust me. I still have those images in my head. Message me instead. We're all here for you! ((hugs!!)) Thank you so much hun I'm just trying to fight the urge. I have no idea why I even have a urge.
LostConfused123 Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 Thank you so much hun I'm just trying to fight the urge. I have no idea why I even have a urge. I understand. I really do. I can't explain the urge either. Maybe it's like a car accident. We don't want to look but we do. It's completely self destructive and our insecurities are magnified and exaggerated. It has NOTHING to do with you or your worth!!! NOTHING!! But don't look anymore. k??? come here and vent. you're not alone! 1
Author geebelle Posted June 29, 2014 Author Posted June 29, 2014 I understand. I really do. I can't explain the urge either. Maybe it's like a car accident. We don't want to look but we do. It's completely self destructive and our insecurities are magnified and exaggerated. It has NOTHING to do with you or your worth!!! NOTHING!! But don't look anymore. k??? come here and vent. you're not alone! I won't look anymore :-). I'll talk myself out of it everytime the urge comes. 1
Tressugar Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 Think of it in these terms; he did you a favor by setting you free so you can be with the right healthy person who you're meant to be with. 2
love1336x Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 I won't look anymore :-). I'll talk myself out of it everytime the urge comes. It gets tiring always making yourself feel like crap. So even if you don't stop your brain and heart will say "OK... This is enough" on less you become addicted to the pain then that's a different story. 1
LostConfused123 Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 I won't look anymore :-). I'll talk myself out of it everytime the urge comes. Good girl! Remember in our case ignorance is bliss.
Bishop556 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 (edited) After we broke up I begged and begged, cried and tried my best to make him care it didn't work and now I feel stupid and embarrassed. I also feel as though I lost my identity. I don't even feel confident or attractive anymore really. I did nothing wrong in the relationship besides nag and complain about not being treated right .. You begged and cried because you trying to hold onto love, and that is completely understandable. It is difficult to maintain self control when someone you truly love has decided to leave you. Now, I hope you know that you have nothing to be ashamed about. In fact, it shows that you truly cared and that, in the end, indicates so much about your worth. I know you don't feel that way now, but I truly hope someday you do. You deserve love and happiness, which you will find someday, I promise you that. Most of all, you need to believe this within yourself, easier said than done, I know, but you deserve love and happiness which must begin within yourself. You are worth more than you can realize. Feel better, darling. Edited July 2, 2014 by Bishop556 1
learning_slowly Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 People in relationships often get comfortable and complacent. Eventually you'll meet somebody who is on your wavelength, e.g. get fat together or workout together. He has gone for a younger more athletic girl, but will she keep it up in the relationship? And will he maintain his fitness level? In a few years, the new relationship could be over, but you won't care, as you'll be in something better. That is why you should always try and meet somebody you have a common interest with or get an interest together, so there will always be more than just physical attraction. 2
furby58 Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 The best thing to do is block them from any social media, you'll still get the urge to check ..after a while it gets to the point where you cant be bothered to unblock and re-block . somethings are better not known. as for self esteem ..mine went down the deep dark rabbit hole after we broke up. i got my self off the couch and started exercising a lot more and about to do my first marathon in less than a month. when you start feeling and looking better ..people notice and compliment you (heck even strangers) for me personally it has helped in building my self esteem again.oh and the look of my ex's face when he sees me looking better and better everytime ..is priceless . so HANG IN THERE and stop torturing your self with his SM pages !! 1
Lovemeagain Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 Geebelle you are not alone. My ex and I have been broken up for about a month and about three weeks ago that was me. I begged and begged and cried and cried for him to not leave me. When it was all said and done I felt so pathetic and miserable. I hope that you are doing better. I am trying to take things one day at a time but I still feel humiliated. Stay strong and remember that we support you. You are not alone.
me85 Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 How are you?? We are all hoping you are feeling better! And we all hope you aren't looking at his social media anymore. Block block block and never look back!
Author geebelle Posted July 7, 2014 Author Posted July 7, 2014 How are you?? We are all hoping you are feeling better! And we all hope you aren't looking at his social media anymore. Block block block and never look back! I am progressing day by day. I deleted my facebook over a week ago and haven't been back on there since. Only issue I have no is looking at his twitter (he doesn't tweet but his instagram pics get sent to his twitter account). I still have anger towards him I'm just trying to find forgiveness.
Author geebelle Posted July 7, 2014 Author Posted July 7, 2014 Geebelle you are not alone. My ex and I have been broken up for about a month and about three weeks ago that was me. I begged and begged and cried and cried for him to not leave me. When it was all said and done I felt so pathetic and miserable. I hope that you are doing better. I am trying to take things one day at a time but I still feel humiliated. Stay strong and remember that we support you. You are not alone. I'm glad others can relate and understand. And yea I still feel humiliated and pathetic. But I know I was a really good person towards him and I know that I deserve a lot better. Everything does happen for a reason and everything will fall into place soon. 1
Hello201 Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 the first thing to do is not look at facebook their friends facebook anybody who is connected to them at all after a while you may think i wonder ?? but you wont look be strong we've all been there we are all at different stages 2
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