lonesurvivorever Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 The guy I am dating is a mystery. We've been in contact and going out constantly. He claimed to enjoy my company, I'm interesting and sexy, etc. （all BS) And he never took first approach for physical contact. I initiated the kiss stuff but we did flirt a lot, sexually sometimes. Still haven't even stepped into the bedroom scene yet. Recently he has firmly told me not once he is not looking for a relationship or deep thing. Suggested he only wanted fun time with me. I am confused, how would any man want to deal with a woman for that long without knowing if she will put out eventually if sex is the thing. This guy is a middle age, smart guy and semi popular with woman and I somtimes wonder he doesn't speak what he really thinks by appearing only want sex from me mostly. Your opinions please. Thanks
RonaldS Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 His wang is small or doesn't function properly. Or he has the Hiv. Normal, healthy functional guys don't hang out with chicks for half a year without banging them if everything is on the up-and-up. They just don't. Hell, even guys who aren't normal, healthy or functional wouldn't go that long. ESPECIALLY if he tells you all he wants to do is eff around. I would have serious questions about his junk or diseases. 6
Author lonesurvivorever Posted June 28, 2014 Author Posted June 28, 2014 His wang is small or doesn't function properly. Or he has the Hiv. Normal, healthy functional guys don't hang out with chicks for half a year without banging them if everything is on the up-and-up. They just don't. Hell, even guys who aren't normal, healthy or functional wouldn't go that long. ESPECIALLY if he tells you all he wants to do is eff around. I would have serious questions about his junk or diseases. Thanks for the opinion. I used to think he really liked to develop something deep or serious with me but he recently made it very clear over and over he is not looking for love or relationship (with me). So the point is, do you think he was ever into me for more than a fling? and maybe in the process of dating, he changed his mind?
Author lonesurvivorever Posted June 28, 2014 Author Posted June 28, 2014 This guy is sexual, during our make out, he was very excited and turned on. He has no that kind of issues. But he never initiated every physical move most of the times and he never directly suggested we go have sex. He sometimes asked to see my place and I refused. He would never bring me to his place it looks like. But 100% sure he is SINGLE and he has a big apartment. My point is what's on his mind, he told me he didn't think of future with me and he kept me around for nothing substantial. He knows I would not drop my pants in a minute at all. I'm a difficult person and after ups and downs in communication, he always comes back to say Hi. It never ended...
RonaldS Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 I would move on. Nothing good is going to come out of this. 3
FitChick Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 How do you know he was sexually excited? Did you see his erect penis? He might be impotent or even a virgin.
Author lonesurvivorever Posted June 28, 2014 Author Posted June 28, 2014 How do you know he was sexually excited? Did you see his erect penis? He might be impotent or even a virgin. No, we haven't got that far. but he is certainly functional I think, because he had many solid relationships. And he is 40 years old, sociable smooth guy, couldn't be virgin. I'm thinking to give it a try to see myself
FitChick Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 No, we haven't got that far. but he is certainly functional I think, because he had many solid relationships. And he is 40 years old, sociable smooth guy, couldn't be virgin. I'm thinking to give it a try to see myself Do you know those women? I'd ask them if they ever had sex. It's possible they never did.
spiderowl Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 Maybe he wants to keep it as friends and nothing more. If he is not officially dating you, why assume that he would want more? You have initiated everything so you can't say he was keen and then backed off. It's not in your interests to hang out with him unless you just want friendship too. 1
TXGuy Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 The guy I am dating is a mystery. We've been in contact and going out constantly. He claimed to enjoy my company, I'm interesting and sexy, etc. （all BS) And he never took first approach for physical contact. I initiated the kiss stuff but we did flirt a lot, sexually sometimes. Still haven't even stepped into the bedroom scene yet. Recently he has firmly told me not once he is not looking for a relationship or deep thing. Suggested he only wanted fun time with me. I am confused, how would any man want to deal with a woman for that long without knowing if she will put out eventually if sex is the thing. This guy is a middle age, smart guy and semi popular with woman and I somtimes wonder he doesn't speak what he really thinks by appearing only want sex from me mostly. Your opinions please. Thanks I really don't understand women's preoccupation with accusing men of 'only wanting me for sex.' Here, you have a guy that has dated you for six months without trying to have sex with you and he somehow is "appearing only to want sex from me mostly." I think as this accusation continues to be overused by women, more and more men are going to stop taking it seriously. In the past it was used (effectively) to put men on the defensive. The pendulum is starting to swing in the other direction, and now it is starting to be ignored. 2
deathandtaxes Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 If you want sex and he doesn't, then there are problems. But if you're cool with all this, then there's not really a problem. Who knows why the guy doesn't want sex? I like Ronald's post - any red-blooded dude isn't gonna wait a long time to initiate anything. He could be gay. He could be a virgin. Or just a self-enforced celibacy. Now OP, why don't you be an assertive adult woman and ask him why he hasn't tried go get you in the sack?? 1
ktya Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 His wang is small or doesn't function properly. Or he has the Hiv. Normal, healthy functional guys don't hang out with chicks for half a year without banging them if everything is on the up-and-up. They just don't. Hell, even guys who aren't normal, healthy or functional wouldn't go that long. ESPECIALLY if he tells you all he wants to do is eff around. I would have serious questions about his junk or diseases. This. Even if hes married hed jump in your pants with an open offer like that. Even if you were married and he was married. I would have jumped into your pants at the first available opportunity and i dont even know how old you are or what you look like. The only other alternative is that your stroking his ego with your flirting and hes banging someone else. But once he kissed you that possibility is slim, he would have pulled away. My money is on genital warts or herpes. 2
Assasda Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 I think the guy thinks that OP gets around the neighborhood a lot. - Like the village bicycle - Like the town doorknob, Thats the only reason he'd be adamant that he doesn't want a relationship with you. Either that, or you put him under pressure to tell you. Anyway, he knows that you'll want sex in the long run, and doesn't mind waiting for it. because men arnt the only ones who like sex 1
Author lonesurvivorever Posted June 28, 2014 Author Posted June 28, 2014 Do you know those women? I'd ask them if they ever had sex. It's possible they never did. I secretly saw some loving pictures of him and his ex together. They looked very sweet and I assume as a desirable lady as his ex seemed to be, they should have had normal sex life. And this guy acts like he wants me bad, but he never suggested to have sex. just when we were sitting in a park at night, making out, he would say something like "I want to rip your clothes off" to tease, then when it was late, we said goodbye and went home seperately. He would only say somthing like "I will have to take a cold shower", etc. Next time when he initiated contact (I mostly don't), he would say hi and talk like normal, nothing sex-related and never pushed or explicitly suggested sex. And he so doesn't want to show me his place, but all of his friends have been there.(Not married and living alone for sure) And I see this is a sign he is not serious. But come on, he asked to go to my place not once, I refused. And he is so cheap that I don't believe he will take me to a hotel.So we are stuck
travelbug1996 Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 I don't see what the problem is. My question is what are you looking for from this guy? Not a relationship of course because he has made it clear that he doesn't want that with YOU. It sounds like you just want sex and are upset that he hasn't tried it yet. Although he says that he just wants sex, he seems to like teasing you. Maybe he wants you to beg for it. lol jk 1
JungleLover Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 You should have been taken to the bedroom 6 months ago. Something is wrong with this guy.
Author lonesurvivorever Posted June 28, 2014 Author Posted June 28, 2014 Maybe he wants to keep it as friends and nothing more. If he is not officially dating you, why assume that he would want more? You have initiated everything so you can't say he was keen and then backed off. It's not in your interests to hang out with him unless you just want friendship too. I didn't initiated contact most of the times in the later stage of our dating, if he is not attracted to me (regardless how many times he told me he found me very attractive), what is he doing to contact me constanly (reported to me when he left for a trip with family,texted me early in the morning when he got to the office, texted me back and forth for long conversations through the day ) ? Now he tries to show me he only wants sex, but hell I've never met a guy who would wait for this long and spend this much effort just for casual fling. That's what puzzles me.
travelbug1996 Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 Does he take you out on dates?? What kinds of activities do you engage in? Or is it mostly over the ohone for the last 6 mos
Author lonesurvivorever Posted June 28, 2014 Author Posted June 28, 2014 I really don't understand women's preoccupation with accusing men of 'only wanting me for sex.' Here, you have a guy that has dated you for six months without trying to have sex with you and he somehow is "appearing only to want sex from me mostly." I think as this accusation continues to be overused by women, more and more men are going to stop taking it seriously. In the past it was used (effectively) to put men on the defensive. The pendulum is starting to swing in the other direction, and now it is starting to be ignored. You missed my point, friend. The fact is that this guy recently confirmed with me over and over that he is not looking for a relationship (with me I assume), but I know he has a past of many relationships, some were deep. No way I don't take this personal so I just asked him what his real intention was. He never wanted to put it straight only saying he enjoys my company. Then I pushed, he said "maybe just for sex?" Then，I asked again, he answered, "No, Yes, maybe,doesn't make difference". And next he would say "I didn't say it was for sex only" I think he has psychological issues and either not knowing what he really wants or afraid to speak out his mind. No relationship is no relationship for sure. I want to know if you guys think he is not saying the truth. Or he might be into me earlier for deeper bond then he changed his mind of a serious relationship after the last couple dates.
Author lonesurvivorever Posted June 28, 2014 Author Posted June 28, 2014 If you want sex and he doesn't, then there are problems. But if you're cool with all this, then there's not really a problem. Who knows why the guy doesn't want sex? I like Ronald's post - any red-blooded dude isn't gonna wait a long time to initiate anything. He could be gay. He could be a virgin. Or just a self-enforced celibacy. Now OP, why don't you be an assertive adult woman and ask him why he hasn't tried go get you in the sack?? It is not I like he doesn't like. He just never tried hard to get into my pants. That's why I valued him a lot. But then he tells me now he doesn't want anything serious. So I'm confused with if he intended to fool around from the beginning or something happened between us to make him change mind? I will ask him next time.
aprilisi Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 That's a long time. Don't think I would have the patience lol Maybe he's sexually confused. Or has a dysfunction.
Author lonesurvivorever Posted June 28, 2014 Author Posted June 28, 2014 I don't see what the problem is. My question is what are you looking for from this guy? Not a relationship of course because he has made it clear that he doesn't want that with YOU. It sounds like you just want sex and are upset that he hasn't tried it yet. Although he says that he just wants sex, he seems to like teasing you. Maybe he wants you to beg for it. lol jk No, I want serious things. not sex only. But I am confused how a man like that would have waited for that long and spent that much effort in communication without knowing if I will put out eventually. I doubt he is not saying the truth about sex only intention
Author lonesurvivorever Posted June 28, 2014 Author Posted June 28, 2014 Does he take you out on dates?? What kinds of activities do you engage in? Or is it mostly over the ohone for the last 6 mos He has a busy work schedule. He travels a lot for work. We don't see each other most times. But we kept the contact flowing via around 900 or 1000 texts. Actually we've been only on 6 dates till now, but we've known each other at a professional setting since last september. Officially dating started this Jan. We have been to bars, wine lounges, movies, comedy clubs, parks.
stillafool Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 No, I want serious things. not sex only. But I am confused how a man like that would have waited for that long and spent that much effort in communication without knowing if I will put out eventually. I doubt he is not saying the truth about sex only intention You say you want something serious and not sex only, yet you are spending time with a man who has said he doesn't want you that way. Plus you say you are not into sex only but you want to know why this man who doesn't want a relationship with you has not tried to take you to bed. Wouldn't it be better to stop seeing him and date a man who wants a relationship with you and sex? 3
ascendotum Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 I secretly saw some loving pictures of him and his ex together. They looked very sweet and I assume as a desirable lady as his ex seemed to be, they should have had normal sex life. And this guy acts like he wants me bad, but he never suggested to have sex. just when we were sitting in a park at night, making out, he would say something like "I want to rip your clothes off" to tease, then when it was late, we said goodbye and went home seperately. He would only say somthing like "I will have to take a cold shower", etc. Next time when he initiated contact (I mostly don't), he would say hi and talk like normal, nothing sex-related and never pushed or explicitly suggested sex. And he so doesn't want to show me his place, but all of his friends have been there.(Not married and living alone for sure) And I see this is a sign he is not serious. But come on, he asked to go to my place not once, I refused. And he is so cheap that I don't believe he will take me to a hotel.So we are stuck Its possible something has happened to him that has effected his ability to get a good erection or strong desire. Maybe he is on some SRRIs or suffered sexual side effects from Proascar (hair loss drug) or some other medication. So yeah things have been great for him for most of his life, but recently it has taken a down turn and its effected his confidence. Its a definite possible scenario. Look he could also be getting regular sex from a FWB or a woman who is married to someone else or from sexier younger zero drama hookers. Since you are not that keen on a relationship with him, I don't get what the problem is, apart from you are curious as to why he is not yanking your panties down, like all the other guys. Its seems you both see each other as friends that enjoy each others company, so keep it for what it is, and keep looking for a bf where there will be mutual sexual desire.
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