iceisles Posted February 17, 2005 Posted February 17, 2005 Here's the deal - I'll be having a first date Saturday with this girl I've been talking to for a few weeks. We both like each other and think the other is cute. However, she has the usual insecurities thinking that I may not find her attractive or that she may not be as nice/sweet, etc. as I've made her out to be. I kinda feel like maybe she thinks I have this idealistic image of her in my head (which I don't) and that she may fail to live up to those expectations. Between now and then, what can I can do or say to reassure her that everything will be fine? She was feeling a little better last night before we got off the phone, but I expect these concerns to resurface tonight and certainly tomorrow. I know being nervous is normal - heck, I have the same insecurities. I'm just not going to let them get to me. Is there anything I can do to make her really comfortable with me before the date? I know things will be fine once we have spent a few hours together. One of my friends suggested sending her a small plant to her office tomorrow - like a lily or something, with a cute, funny message on the card. Just something to make her smile and hopefully feel better about things. What do you all think? I appreciate your input.
EC Posted February 17, 2005 Posted February 17, 2005 I think the lily Idea is really cute. And every one has insecurities like you said and I mean the most you can do is just be yourself on the date, remind her how beautiful she looks, and have a good time. Eventually she will get so caught up in you and having a good time that she wont even remember what she was being nervous about or being insecure about.
Cecelius Posted February 17, 2005 Posted February 17, 2005 Don't send her the plant -- it's too much too soon. A person who is insecure is not to be mistaken for someone who is very sweet -- really, its more as if they have something in their mind that requires others to "fill them out" as a human being. Often, this means that while they want someone to pump them up, as soon as they have it they wonder what's wrong with the guy that he gave in that easily, or they get used to it and need someone else new to do the filling. Go on your date and be calm but fun, don't tease her too much. Look at her kindly and let her talk about herself a lot till she gets comfortable. Continue in that way so that her insecurities don't get the better of her.
Author iceisles Posted February 17, 2005 Author Posted February 17, 2005 Originally posted by Cecelius Don't send her the plant -- it's too much too soon. A person who is insecure is not to be mistaken for someone who is very sweet -- really, its more as if they have something in their mind that requires others to "fill them out" as a human being. Often, this means that while they want someone to pump them up, as soon as they have it they wonder what's wrong with the guy that he gave in that easily, or they get used to it and need someone else new to do the filling. Go on your date and be calm but fun, don't tease her too much. Look at her kindly and let her talk about herself a lot till she gets comfortable. Continue in that way so that her insecurities don't get the better of her. Well, I sent her pink roses on Valentine's Day and she absolutely loved them. She must have thanked me five times that day, and a dozen times since Monday. So I think the plant is a safe idea. She really does like when I do things for her. I know she'll feel comfortable with me, because most people say I'm really approachable, easygoing, and just fun to be around. I'm mostly just trying to calm her nerves as much as possible before we meet up. I know I'll be nervous, too, but that comes up with the territory.
Author iceisles Posted February 17, 2005 Author Posted February 17, 2005 Originally posted by EtErNaLlYCoNfUsEd I think the lily Idea is really cute. And every one has insecurities like you said and I mean the most you can do is just be yourself on the date, remind her how beautiful she looks, and have a good time. Eventually she will get so caught up in you and having a good time that she wont even remember what she was being nervous about or being insecure about. Thanks for the reply. I do expect the date to go well. Over the years, I have gotten better at just being myself. I don't know where the confidence has come from - maybe it's nothing more than experience. I have a nice day planned, and I'm sure she will feel much better once we're hanging out and talking. I think everyone gets a little nervous meeting someone, and that is amplified when you know they like you.
Author iceisles Posted February 18, 2005 Author Posted February 18, 2005 Ok, the plant is on its way. I'm sure she will love it. I can sense that she likes me a lot but is wondering if I'll be the same person once we meet up. I will just try to be myself, but man, first dates can be so nerve wracking.
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