Wiltshire Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 Hi all, Me and my girlfriend have been together for 9 months now, living together for the past few months. We're both very happy together, but we're both struggling with our careers. I'm changing mine while she's not really happy with the amount she earns. She worries a lot about whether she is earning enough and is currently feeling pretty low about it all. Three weeks ago she went back to her hometown which is two hours away from where we live together, and her reasons were that she needs some time and space to work things out, decide on her career, be around family. I felt rejected at first but she has reassured me that it has nothing to do with me, she still loves me and wants to be with me, is coming back, just needs some 'me time'. We've just spent a few days together which were really nice, and she's gone back home now. I guess - I've always been a worrier, and this is really making me anxious.i love having her around, living with her. I'm worried that she'll decide to stay in her hometown - I guess it might be insecure of me but I just wonder why she'd want to come and stay with me when she has it all back home. She hasn't given me any reason to doubt that she's coming back, and is still talking about things to do with 'our' home, things like that. But she won't tell me when she's coming back, so because of the uncertainty I panic and become anxious. I just feel so worried that she won't come back, because we've been building a home together etc. and I just don't know how to chill out and relax about it all because I know these fears are irrational... How do I deal with this anxious feelings? And what if she doesn't come back?
Author Wiltshire Posted June 28, 2014 Author Posted June 28, 2014 (edited) Any advice? I am finding it extremely hard without her, I miss her terribly and I try to keep busy but I don't work right now, I'm waiting for the term to begin in September and most of my friends live quite far away so I can't just meet up with them whenever I want. I exercise every morning but I really miss her and obviously want her to come home, but it would be very selfish of me to demand that she does, wouldn't it? I'm just so worried that she'll grow distant and not want to come home. Edited June 28, 2014 by Wiltshire
LoveIsMyReligion Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 Show her you can be independent and that your sole source of happiness isn't just the relationship. When I date someone I want them to enhance my life not lean on me like a crutch. 1
Assasda Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 My god, you probably need therapy. That poor girl is getting the life sucked out of her, and needs to go to her hone town. Dude, get your own life, and stop suffacating you girlfriend, You feel anxious when she's away like youre a little kid. I thought you were a grown ass man 1
d0nnivain Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 Why do you think she has it all back home? She's at a cross roads & is seeking comfort in her roots to try to sort out her situation. Keep communicating with her. Be affectionate & loving but not smothering.
giblesp Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 You're slightly needy dude. Thats why she's getting away for a while. There's never any reason to take time apart from someone, unless you're feeling under pressure from the relationship. Saying that, she's being a bit harsh with you, taking off and not telling you when she's coming back. Does she communicate with you on a regular basis? Are you going to see other people?
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