Teuen101 Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 Greetings all and Thank you for any help you can offer - Please forgive me for my grammar and spelling as I hammer this out ! About a month ago met this amazing woman. I could tell we might have something, mind you most the time I don't let any that close to me- I enjoy my single life and doing as I please and really could care less, But she pulled me in and I was like "OK" lets run with it and see what happens. So at first things are awesome she is blowing up my phone each day to the point that I'm deleting dozens of Texts everyday things are going good she even threw out the love word while have sex !! This shocked me !! But then I started thinking... "lets dance" and told her I loved her as well and we just ran with it and things couldn't have been better ! But I think I'm getting a little ahead of my self - let me tell you about our situations - I live on my own - Own my own home work about 10 hours a day so threw the week I have only a few hours to spend with her. I work 4 pm to 2am most days . She lives with a male roommate (nothing going on between them) seems like a nice guy- they always fight- she is free on the week days and only works weekends ! we talk on the phone text and hang out most every day ! Now The problem::: Earlier this week she got a new roommate "a guy" who just got kicked out of his home for cheating on his wife and ruined 10 years of marriage !- he is good friends with the other male roommate - she tells me about this I'm like cool ~ Then she tells me her pc headset is broken - So I go get her a high end turtle beach one - She needed help with her phone bill so I helped her with that too- she has little money- I don't mind helping it's a gift ! but what shocked me odd is .. I did all this stuff for her and as soon as he moved in she has no time to talk we might talk 45 min at best might have spent 3 hours in all talking her this week the contact got less and less and my phone calls and texts both got ignored -So- I ask her why do I feel like she is pulling away from me ? She turns the tables and says I'm pulling away from her !! I'm like what ???? Then she go's on to say she has been busy "new roommate" and all - she tells me how they go shopping together and how funny he is and how he is helping her cook.. I sank into my seat ! Red flags where flying ! I said that must be nice and I said that explains things ! I told her when that happens it's called relationship building ! you do common things together next thing you know guess what you have a bond !!! and a relationship ! - he isn't working she only works weekends ! So they have all this time together ! and my time with her dried up !!! She told me I'm becoming a better cook because of him !! That way I can cook better for you when I move in with you ! My jaw dropped ! I knew If I get mad at this point I lose and look needy and all that crap ! so the next day I order her flowers and a Teddy Bear and Candy !! The florist calls me and tells me its been it's been received !! She never calls me or texts me to tell me she got it !!!! I had to call her and ask her if she got my gift !! lol omg I'm such a tool- she acted like she didn't even care - I couldn't believe the change in her ! Was this the real woman I had been running with for the last 2 months ? The fight:::: Again I was trying with all my heart to show anger about the situation of being put off all week and ignored and her always saying talk soon but never making time!! It came to a head Friday- I sent her a text and said call me baby- She said soon talking to some friends online ! I'm like cool when you find the time hit me up ! She responds ! whats that mean ? when I find time ?? I said baby why are you taking my words apart ? I'm just trying to be respectful just call me ! she says soon !!! ...6 hours pass ! I call her and say - you almost have no time for me you have withdrawn and spend all your time with your new roommate - ((("oh, and on a side note")) she is all sudden into " fitness " said how this guy has motivated her to get into shape ! anyway on with our phone convo - I said something don't feel right ! She said she has no time and is busy and that should be good enough and how she tried to explain it to me back on Monday !! I said work 10 hours a day and some how have more time then her and she is off threw the week !! anyway - i thought we had made up at this point she told me she loved me and I told her I loved her but still nothing has changed - I sent her 2 text last night I said I miss you love you !! Be safe for me !!- no reply !! I called her around 11 last night - twice once I hung up then called back left a message and said - hope your doing well talk to you soon ! No reply nothing ! I feel like such a moron- I feel like I'm used and played all at the same time and this is the first day of no contact!
Author Teuen101 Posted June 28, 2014 Author Posted June 28, 2014 p.s out of the blue after submitting my post - I got a text !!! she is gonna call me soon lol I'm not replying !
ThorntonMelon Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 B. P. D. Run. Good news is you didn't waste a ton of time. 1
Author Teuen101 Posted June 28, 2014 Author Posted June 28, 2014 almost felt like she was testing the waters with her text- see what i would say ? Time to ignore 100% and go NC lets see how this works !
ThorntonMelon Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 OK. Breathe. You're losing your mind right now. Go for a run. Several runs actually. You're frantic, manic, and not capable of anything reasonable. Find a friend and spend the day with them. Hide your phone and don't make any important decisions. 2
SoThatHappened Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 OK. Breathe. You're losing your mind right now. Go for a run. Several runs actually. You're frantic, manic, and not capable of anything reasonable. Find a friend and spend the day with them. Hide your phone and don't make any important decisions. ^^^ This... or something like this. Or anything but contacting her. RUN. No really, just run away and be thankful you didn't engaged/married/pregnant. She may have BPD as mentioned earlier. I've thought this about my ex too. Doesn't matter. You can't "save" her. Stop being a doormat and stop contacting her. You're just pushing her further away and making her feel better about it. RUN. Do whatever you can to cut everything about her out of your life and improve yourself. Learn from this and don't repeat your behavior. You're now better off and able to see the red flags in the future. Take care of yourself, improve yourself. Seriously. Good luck 1
Author Teuen101 Posted June 28, 2014 Author Posted June 28, 2014 BPD ? whats that ? and thanks guy im doing fine !
theexfiance Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 BPD ? whats that ? and thanks guy im doing fine ! Bi Polar Disorder
SoThatHappened Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 Bi Polar Disorder No. Borderline Personality Disorder 1
Author Teuen101 Posted June 28, 2014 Author Posted June 28, 2014 Who knows what she is doing - who cares - thank you guys for letting open up and share ! get this off my chest !
Radu Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 Greetings all and Thank you for any help you can offer - Please forgive me for my grammar and spelling as I hammer this out ! About a month ago met this amazing woman. I could tell we might have something, mind you most the time I don't let any that close to me- I enjoy my single life and doing as I please and really could care less, But she pulled me in and I was like "OK" lets run with it and see what happens. So at first things are awesome she is blowing up my phone each day to the point that I'm deleting dozens of Texts everyday things are going good she even threw out the love word while have sex !! This shocked me !! But then I started thinking... "lets dance" and told her I loved her as well and we just ran with it and things couldn't have been better ! But I think I'm getting a little ahead of my self - let me tell you about our situations - I live on my own - Own my own home work about 10 hours a day so threw the week I have only a few hours to spend with her. I work 4 pm to 2am most days . She lives with a male roommate (nothing going on between them) seems like a nice guy- they always fight- she is free on the week days and only works weekends ! we talk on the phone text and hang out most every day ! Now The problem::: Earlier this week she got a new roommate "a guy" who just got kicked out of his home for cheating on his wife and ruined 10 years of marriage !- he is good friends with the other male roommate - she tells me about this I'm like cool ~ Then she tells me her pc headset is broken - So I go get her a high end turtle beach one - She needed help with her phone bill so I helped her with that too- she has little money- I don't mind helping it's a gift ! but what shocked me odd is .. This is your first red flag. The guy cheated on his wife after 10yrs, and he has all this time on his hand [with her being free as well]. And this was a major red f*cking flag. I did all this stuff for her and as soon as he moved in she has no time to talk we might talk 45 min at best might have spent 3 hours in all talking her this week the contact got less and less and my phone calls and texts both got ignored -So- I ask her why do I feel like she is pulling away from me ? She turns the tables and says I'm pulling away from her !! I'm like what ???? Projecting, alltogether it's the 2nd red flag. Then she go's on to say she has been busy "new roommate" and all - she tells me how they go shopping together and how funny he is and how he is helping her cook.. We are beyond red flags here. It's like dropping 1000 tons of red pigment on a mountain, bloody obvious. I sank into my seat ! Red flags where flying ! I said that must be nice and I said that explains things ! I told her when that happens it's called relationship building ! you do common things together next thing you know guess what you have a bond !!! and a relationship ! - he isn't working she only works weekends ! So they have all this time together ! and my time with her dried up !!! She told me I'm becoming a better cook because of him !! That way I can cook better for you when I move in with you ! My jaw dropped ! I knew If I get mad at this point I lose and look needy and all that crap ! so the next day I order her flowers and a Teddy Bear and Candy !! The florist calls me and tells me its been it's been received !! You should have ended it right then and there. Or alternatively, send her 1 rose with a message [sealed] "have fun in life, bye". --- The fight is irrelevant, you should have ended it right then and there. She isn't testing anything, she is milking this and keeping 2 relationships going, one with that piece of sh*t of a human being. She did a lot of future faking early in the relationship to get you hooked, and now she's doing it to him. The question is why do you have so little self-respect to stay in this messed up situation ?
Mr.Pine Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 I feel like I'm used and played all at the same time and this is the first day of no contact! Yes. You were played. You played right into her selfish, grubby hands. She is banging the roommate. You've lost her. Now stop losing anymore time or money on that beeyotch and go NC. 1
Author Teuen101 Posted June 28, 2014 Author Posted June 28, 2014 I've stepped away ! I'm not chasing her - I'm not begging her - I'm disappearing !
Purepony Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 If you paid with credit card call your bank and have a transaction dispute it and get the money back on the phone bill! 2
Author Teuen101 Posted June 29, 2014 Author Posted June 29, 2014 would they do that ? never thought of that or tried it
JingleBab Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 End it now. Send her a text that its over and go NC. You have listed more red flags than necessary that indicate she is sleeping with the roommate. 1
Chi townD Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 She sure seems to be spending a lot of time with this douche rocket. When was the last time you even took her out on a date? Okay, lets take stock. This guy cheats on his wife, gets caught and she boots his ass out. Moves in with your girl. It's obvious that he's putting the moves on your girl and she's eating it up. However, he doesn't work and she barely has a job. Yet, they're loving playing house together. You need to put and end to this. Move on with your life right now. Start NC and don't look back. My prediction, she'll start to contact you at the end of the month. Why? Because that's when all of the bills are due. 1
SoThatHappened Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 Who cares what she is doing or who she's doing it with. Can you see yourself growing old with that? That's a great story to share with the kids... You got a "get outta jail free" card, and it was all her fault, whether she realizes it or not. Couldn't end better for you. You did nothing wrong, and she WILL regret losing a good guy. You don't want that, man. Really. There are amazing women out there. Go find one. 1
Author Teuen101 Posted July 3, 2014 Author Posted July 3, 2014 She sure seems to be spending a lot of time with this douche rocket. When was the last time you even took her out on a date? Okay, lets take stock. This guy cheats on his wife, gets caught and she boots his ass out. Moves in with your girl. It's obvious that he's putting the moves on your girl and she's eating it up. However, he doesn't work and she barely has a job. Yet, they're loving playing house together. You need to put and end to this. Move on with your life right now. Start NC and don't look back. My prediction, she'll start to contact you at the end of the month. Why? Because that's when all of the bills are due. Our dates dried up as soon as he moved in ! busy holding his hand I guess has he recovers from his broken marriage ! Before I stopped talking to her I told her that this guy will grab on to any woman he can he is shattered in side. He is about to lose everything he owns ! and some one else will be sleep in his bed soon ! I think she is just attention starved ! I thought I gave her enough but now I see she was future faking the whole damn time ! But I fear she didn't hear me- she just spends all her time with him playing house and picking on and making fun of the 3rd roommate ! its like three's company gone wrong ! I'm glad I'm out her actions didn't back up her words !
Author Teuen101 Posted July 3, 2014 Author Posted July 3, 2014 (edited) She sure seems to be spending a lot of time with this douche rocket. When was the last time you even took her out on a date? Okay, lets take stock. This guy cheats on his wife, gets caught and she boots his ass out. Moves in with your girl. It's obvious that he's putting the moves on your girl and she's eating it up. However, he doesn't work and she barely has a job. Yet, they're loving playing house together. You need to put and end to this. Move on with your life right now. Start NC and don't look back. My prediction, she'll start to contact you at the end of the month. Why? Because that's when all of the bills are due. You know my Mother said the same thing ! haha too funny, This will not end well for her and saw this coming where I heard her say " I started doing my Yoga again having Steve around gets me wanting to do things !- I thought to my self and I don't?? he lived there one day and she said that !I knew right then and tried to warn her of the dangers of a married man - you'd think she know better being 33 years old. The more time they spend together and trust me they will have nothing but time together 24/7 it's gonna be a nightmare ! She is so busy lol Edited July 3, 2014 by Teuen101 spelling
Author Teuen101 Posted July 3, 2014 Author Posted July 3, 2014 (edited) She also told me that my jealousy would kill our relationship before it even started ! maybe she was right - (her words didn't line up with her actions) But what didn't make any scene to me is why all the romantic talks dating dryed up - I would get the ( breadcrumb ) phone call once a day. If I asked what was going on with us - I was tagged as needy- so I tried to not contact her as much as possible ! but it didn't matter any call or text I was auto needy in her eyes ! Then she would just poof I might text her once or twice - no reply - I might call her and she would never pick up. this all happened this week - it was like night and day ! bTW her cell phone is always with her ! Edited July 3, 2014 by Teuen101
Chi townD Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Dude, she broke up without telling you. I mean, my God! You two are supposed to be dating and are exclusive! You should be calling first thing in the morning to SAY good morning and calling each other at night to SAY good night! OR, she could be crashing at your place, or coming over for a night in with dinner and a movie. None of that is happening. I would just suggest that you start no contact with her now and start living your life as if she isn't coming back. Because, chances are, she's not. If she thinks you're jealous and controlling, well she would have no way of knowing it now! If I were you, I would find out who this douche rockets wife is. Contact her and tell her that you guess her husband hasn't learned his lesson because now he's putting the moves on your girl! She has the right to know what kind of man she married and it saves her the heartache if this asshat tries to weasel his way back into the marriage again. 1
Author Teuen101 Posted July 3, 2014 Author Posted July 3, 2014 Dude, she broke up without telling you. I mean, my God! You two are supposed to be dating and are exclusive! You should be calling first thing in the morning to SAY good morning and calling each other at night to SAY good night! OR, she could be crashing at your place, or coming over for a night in with dinner and a movie. None of that is happening. I would just suggest that you start no contact with her now and start living your life as if she isn't coming back. Because, chances are, she's not. If she thinks you're jealous and controlling, well she would have no way of knowing it now! If I were you, I would find out who this douche rockets wife is. Contact her and tell her that you guess her husband hasn't learned his lesson because now he's putting the moves on your girl! She has the right to know what kind of man she married and it saves her the heartache if this asshat tries to weasel his way back into the marriage again. I was jealous - she told me she was hanging out with him most of the day alone or when other roommate was around- I called twice got tagged as needy- I wanted to spend time like we did before now I'm needy ? I'm shocked ! I feel like she emotionally checked out of the relationship when I confronted her on the lack of time we had. It's like they leave you hanging you don't know what is true- it all feels like smoke and mirrors ~ you just know the person you loved did a 360% on you- Now to be fair she did tell me she would be busy last week getting the new roommate settled in and maybe I pushed to hard - But when she was telling me they are cooking together hanging out shopping and she starts doing yoga because of him. it made jealous. all this missing time !- **** just dried up in a few short days . hardly any communication and if we had some time it was bland ! I called it my daily breadcrumb. I'm not going to contact this guys wife - I'm not 100% sure they are messing around - if they are doing anything it's emotional cheating . every turn I question my self and feel at fault ! and I seeing things wrong ? Have i done this to my self ???? did i read to much between the lines ? did I really trust her ? do i have trust issues ? am I a controlling dick ?
Chi townD Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 (edited) I was jealous - she told me she was hanging out with him most of the day alone or when other roommate was around- I called twice got tagged as needy- I wanted to spend time like we did before now I'm needy ? I'm shocked ! I feel like she emotionally checked out of the relationship when I confronted her on the lack of time we had. It's like they leave you hanging you don't know what is true- it all feels like smoke and mirrors ~ you just know the person you loved did a 360% on you- Now to be fair she did tell me she would be busy last week getting the new roommate settled in and maybe I pushed to hard - But when she was telling me they are cooking together hanging out shopping and she starts doing yoga because of him. it made jealous. all this missing time !- **** just dried up in a few short days . hardly any communication and if we had some time it was bland ! I called it my daily breadcrumb. I'm not going to contact this guys wife - I'm not 100% sure they are messing around - if they are doing anything it's emotional cheating . every turn I question my self and feel at fault ! and I seeing things wrong ? Have i done this to my self ???? did i read to much between the lines ? did I really trust her ? do i have trust issues ? am I a controlling dick ? Maybe I jumped the gun with this guys wife. But, if you find out different, I'd blow the whistle on him in a second. How is her spending time with another man your fault? What? Is this guy ten and can't get settled in himself? Is he that clueless? That was YOUR girl. Not his wife replacement. And the thing is, she let it happen. She's choosing to spend time with him, not you. That's not your fault. That's her being disrespectful to you and your relationship. Would she be cool with the fact that you are spending a lot of time with another girl? She would lose her flippin mind over it! Edited July 3, 2014 by Chi townD 1
Recommended Posts