reuelle Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 Hey guys. It's been said that we should never treat people as priorities if they treat us as options (sometimes I agree with that statement, sometimes I think it's hogwash, but anyway). Part of the beauty of being in a relationship is a) being a priority in that person's life, and b) knowing that you are a priority. How can a woman know that she is a priority in her man's life? How can she know this if she's dating someone that isn't particularly expressive? How can she know she's not a priority? (See this article by Evan Marc Katz to find out why I asked this last one... I would have felt/thought the same as the lady who asked the question!) Thanks
Assasda Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 I didnt read the post that you referenced, but you ask how she knows she's a priority: - If the guy cares about her well-being, calls to make sure she's safe. Points out that the treads on her tires are worn down. Changes her oil. Asks her if she is hungry, and if she needs anything to make her comfortable. Asks about her family, and is genuinely concerned with her well-being. How do women know when they are not a priority? When guys try to buy there love, for no reason at all. When the guys knows nothing about you, but tells you every 2 seconds that he loves you. When the woman cannot count on a guy to listen to her and give her feedback. I also dont think that its the amount of time that you spend with somebody, because schedules are so strange nowadays. But its the quality of the time. 3
MissBee Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 (edited) These things are self-evident. It's like asking "How do you know if you're in pain?", because you feel it and there is no way to mistake pain for anything other than what it is and no other person has to point it out to you. Being a priority to someone is obvious and so is not being a priority. It is all in their attitude and actions towards you. and you FEEL it. When you're not a priority you have tons of questions, you're confused, you play guessing games...when you are you can just be because it's not a mystery or anything you're working for. My real life examples: Current bf where I'm a priority - He makes times for me, even when it's not convenient for him -He takes time off from work in advance on important days for me, for example: to drop me at the airport and say goodbye before me going away for the summer and he has already scheduled to take off from work when I'm coming back to pick me up and spend time with me -When he talks about the future or plans for the future he thinks about me in it, example: he's buying a house and since I live in the city proper and don't need a car so don't have one he's making sure that he only buys houses which are accessible by train. Other example, he has looked into the job market and transfers from his company to cities that I may potentially move to in 5 YEARS time already -His family all know about me and he talks about me all the time to them and his coworkers - He does things for me, like waking up early and bringing me breakfast, helping me to move, buying me a new phone when mine fell and the screen broke -he's willing to spend his time and resources on me. -He tells me everyday how much I mean to him The list goes on...it's self-evident. Other guy I was seeing casually before where I was not a priority (and frankly he wasn't for me either) - He only saw me when it was convenient for him -He never ever discussed a future with me in it - I never met or knew his family besides when he talked about them -He was inconsistent and unreliable The list goes on...I FELT it...I knew I wasn't important to him and not a priority. Edited June 28, 2014 by MissBee 1
DArtagnan2 Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 People show they care about someone in all different ways and no one is usually ever the same as the other. You have to take each individual, their personality, demeanor, actions, etc. and realize what they are doing is showing they care in their way. It could be that they just say good morning and good night everyday, that they brought you a muffin because they went to the bakery, or they said they thought of you when they experienced something, etc. You can't rate someone based on simplistic standards. You have to see what they can give and realize that is them showing you, that you are a priority to them. 1
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