ChuckS34 Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 I had thought this year was going so great, then June came around... On June 8th I found out that my wife had been seeing a guy from her work on the down low. That morning I called her after a bike race I had and she was pondering going to lunch with her friend Deb. I was like, yea go, you should. I mean I'm about 2 hrs away and then I have to work later, so yea, go have fun. So, she does and I'm trying to call her because I was done with work early and wanted just to hear her voice. No answer. Phone was turned off. Hmm.. she never turns her phone off... I think nothing of it at the time... I text her... No text back... hmm... ok... So, that night I ran across a text message to her friend Deb that said I'll meet you where I met you the other day. I was like, wtf? The other day? I mean, this is the first time she has gone to lunch with Deb. I'm like, wtf? so, the next day at work I look up our cell account and find the text message details and call Deb. What I found was disturbing! The voice mail message was a guy's voice. So, all this time she was with this dude. I call her on it and she says that I wouldn't understand, that it's just lunch! Ok, well then if it's just lunch why did you hide him from me? Why call him Deb? Why are you sending him pictures thru text? We go through a week of this crap, back and forth, etc. Then last week she goes and meets him behind my back again. On Tuesday and Friday. Friday was God awful. She got home early from work and called me and said she was starving... so I bring her food. Get that? I bring her food to fuel her to go out and sneak around on me because later that day she left telling the kids she's going shopping at walmart and just went to be with him. We have it out.. I want out... I'm fed up. but I love her. She blames me... tells me I don't put her first ever. Says that for the 15 yrs we've been together I've put her on the backburner! We've been married 8. I'm like well if you thought that way the first 7 when you marry me for the 8? wtf??? We decide on marriage counseling to see if we can fix this... We have our first appt. We tell our stories, etc. The counselor gives us hw. Asks her what she's going to do... she says I'll stay away from him, etc. Ok, so that was Tues. what happens wed? she texting him. what's happening today, she asks me if it's ok to hang out with him after work? I'm like wtf? I'm tired... She wants him, so just tell me and I'll let you go. Help.. someone please... I need advice....
adna89 Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 Honestly you let her do whatever she wants and that is why she is doing it.She shows no respect towards you.I personally would tell her to choose,either him or you.Make her realize how serious this is,to me it seems she got the impression its not that bad(when she even has the nerve to ask you if she can hang out with him)
LostOnes05 Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 Sorry you are going through this. She is being very disrespectful. She obviously isn't going to cut communication with him. I'd start looking for a good divorce attorney. Since you are giving her space and time to be with this guy...change the locks when she goes out with him. Let them live together for a while and watch it all come crumbling down. The grass looks greener to her right now, but when she has to be with this guy all the time she may realize differently.
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