sparkychops Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 Hi everyone, Long time lurker, first time poster. My ex and I BU about 2 months ago. It was a drunken argument that escalated into the next day and I was so hurt by it all that I went directly into NC. He tried to contact me a day or two after and I ignored him. I lasted about a month before I got in touch. He was very hesitant with me when I did. I eventually suggested meeting up to talk about what happened, as we had never had that conversation. Again, he was hesitant but agreed. We met up yesterday and it went well. He said that the fighting was getting too much for him (we BU before, but continued seeing each other, so we never had a "clean break") He said every time we fought he was afraid it was going to go back to how it was the last time, but he admitted that he was exagerrating everything in his head. He also said that fighting with me is awful, I have an answer for everything, and I admitted that was certainly the case, however I have gotten a lot better. He said when it was good, it was great, but when it was bad, it was just bad. He told me how much he had struggled. He said he hadn't been in contact because as far as he was concerned I didn't want to speak to him, and he didn't have a right to pop in and annoy me even more. I said it was a pity we couldn't have had this conversation while we were still together, as it would have worked out so much better for us. I said hindsight is a great thing and he said "Hindsight is a *****". We got cut off short as I had to be somewhere, but he text me a couple of hours later (He's never text me first throughout this whole BU) to thank me for suggesting the meet up, he said his head feels a lot clearer etc. I asked him he wanted to meet up again and he said definitely, so we've agreed to meet next week. What do you all make of this? From my POV, I want him back. I just don't know how to go about it...
No Limit Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 Only natural that he's hesitant. I'd say try to control your temper and drop drinking if you can't control yourself.
BC1980 Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 Am I correct in assuming that after the drunken argument, you went NC without telling him you were breaking up? For him, that is probably hard to recover from because it definitely erodes trust. It sounds like you might just not be for each other with all of the arguing. What do you argue about? Is it fueled by alcohol? Are the arguments petty or over genuine issues? What is his take on the arguments? Those are questions I would be asking myself before I decided if I wanted to jump into a relationship with him again.
Author sparkychops Posted June 27, 2014 Author Posted June 27, 2014 Am I correct in assuming that after the drunken argument, you went NC without telling him you were breaking up? For him, that is probably hard to recover from because it definitely erodes trust. It sounds like you might just not be for each other with all of the arguing. What do you argue about? Is it fueled by alcohol? Are the arguments petty or over genuine issues? What is his take on the arguments? Those are questions I would be asking myself before I decided if I wanted to jump into a relationship with him again. No, sorry I didn't explain myself properly. He broke up with me whilst drunk and then stood by it the next day, so I went directly into NC. The arguments themselves were over us not seeing eye to eye and there was clearly some communication issues. He hated arguing, but he also said that he exaggerates everything in his head in relation to them.
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