freetolove Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 My boyfriend rarely initiates any activities. Basically if I don't initiate something he just keeps working and working (own business). When I ask him to do things, he is usually happy to come help. I feel sad that he's not around.
thekid36 Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 My boyfriend rarely initiates any activities. Basically if I don't initiate something he just keeps working and working (own business). When I ask him to do things, he is usually happy to come help. I feel sad that he's not around. First of all, he most likely must like you. Otherwise, he would most likely not come over and help you. This is good. The only thing is that him not initiating things seems to bother you. This is not good. And, if he really liked you, perhaps he would show just a little bit of initiative on his end. Have you mentioned any of these thoughts and feelings to him?
starrynightz45 Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 Don't initiate anything AT ALL. He'll eventually wonder and get the hint.
carhill Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 He appears to be passive in matters personal. Does he ring up friends and set stuff up with them? IMO, a person can 'like' another person but go about that 'like' in a style which can seem non-assertive. It's like that old adage of the working guy who comes home one night and his wife says to him 'you don't love me' and he says 'I come home to you every night. Of course I love you. If I didn't I wouldn't be here'. Different styles. That's life!
Author freetolove Posted June 27, 2014 Author Posted June 27, 2014 I don't think so. he is usually at work. if his friends visit, it would be at his work. he let's me visit him at work. I think you guys are right. we are just different people.
clia Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 You wrote a very similar thread about your boyfriend back in January, with nearly the same title as this one. I think it should be pretty darn clear to you by now that he is not an initiator. If that's the kind of guy you want, you would be best served to move on and try to find a new boyfriend.
Gaeta Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 Some men are like this, I can name a few I know. If you are the organizer-leader type then you can be happy in this relationship. If not you will always be unsatisfied waiting for him. You like going out so from now on make Saturday night a night out. Organize it ahead of time and tell him ahead: Movies, dinner, bowling, concerts, what ever you fancy. You'd like to do something on weekdays too? Make Wednesday night 'anything you wish'. He will go along, he wants to make you happy, he's just not an initiator. My brother has been married 22 years. He's not an initiator, she is. Because of her they are kayaking, camping, hiking, trailing, traveling, volunteering and a bunch of other stuff, they haven't jump off a plane yet but I am sure she's planning it !!
Elle1975 Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 My boyfriend rarely initiates any activities. Basically if I don't initiate something he just keeps working and working (own business). When I ask him to do things, he is usually happy to come help. I feel sad that he's not around. He has his own business, so I can see why he sets it as his priority. As long as he is a good boyfriend, I don't see any issues there, since he is "happy to come help". However, since you have an issue with it, talk to him. I am just concerned that this relationship might become "too much" for him if he's working on his own business at the moment. I'd weight the pros and cons.
Assasda Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 Dont talk to him about it. From what I get from your post, your guy seems to be a busy guy. And he takes care of business, and you take him out of his element. I'm pretty sure he appreciates that. And if you nag him about that, its not going to end up well, because it seems like youre much better at that than he is. It also seems a bit insecure of you 1
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