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Dating Women who don't make a lot of money

freetolove

By freetolove
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freetolove Established Member

freetolove

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I'm curious if men care if the woman you're dating is making significantly less than you.

kiss_andmakeup Established Member

kiss_andmakeup

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That's like asking if men like Chinese food, enjoy hiking, or prefer the colour orange.

 

It's a personal preference. Some men care and some men don't.

 

In my personal experience, the more money the man himself makes, the less he cares. Your mileage may vary.

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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I'm flat broke and I seriously don't care what the woman makes.

 

I don't date women for their income.

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TXGuy Established Member

TXGuy

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I don't really care what a woman makes as long as she is living within her means. More is better to a point, but it is pretty low on the priority list.

marcjb Established Member

marcjb

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I don't care. It doesn't matter to me as long as they're able to pull their own weight when necessary and they're not using me for financial (or any kind of) gain.

Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

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I dated a man earning craploads last year.

 

He spoilt me but honestly I told him NO I do not want to just go out and taker advantage of his money; I insisted on staying in half the time, getting pre drinks when we did go out, and generally I would feel guilty the times he went out and insisted on buying me clothes.

 

It is in bad taste in my opinion to just let a more well off gentlemen spoilt you incessantly. It is more classy to just try to live within your means and let him pay for the occasional night out.....

 

My friends bf makes about 80K AUD and while he pays for everything when they go out together, she absolutely relishes being spoilt and genuinely feels so grateful for it. She doesn't expect a free ride and if he leaves out money for her to go out for dinner (when he is out at his work and he leaves the money for her then) she normally declines and uses her own money. She doesn't feel entitled.

fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

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I'm curious if men care if the woman you're dating is making significantly less than you.

 

Unless she's unemployed, I highly doubt any woman makes less than me.

 

But no, I wouldn't care.

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thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

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Id say the older a guy gets, the more he is going to care...

 

Also, a guy that has had his financial clock cleaned in a divorce, probably isnt going to want to be with someone who is broke..

 

But I suppose the same can be said for women as well(if the roles were reversed)

 

TFY

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Dirt Member

Dirt

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I care. For example, I wouldn't date a public school teacher because of the low income and lack of growth opportunity. My logic is why partially support another adult when I could retire earlier, nicer faster toys, etc.

 

 

I'm super independent though and don't care about relationships that much.

carhill Established Member

carhill

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I'm curious if men care if the woman you're dating is making significantly less than you.

Doesn't matter to me but I'm pretty income-poor so most women make more money than I do. Back when I was dating my exW, she was just starting out in business and I was already established and making a good living and I paid for many/most of the 'outside' dates but she put together killer dinners and 'inside' stuff. I found that quite equitable. Unfortunately, few women of my generation feel that way about the reverse. That's a small part of the reason why I haven't dated much post-D. Socio-economics of my generation and demographic.

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Andy_K Established Member

Andy_K

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I have a decent job, but I care relatively little for material things. (Cars, expensive restaurants, etc) so I don't care at all how much a girl earns. I just care that she's not materialistic either.

 

In some ways I actually prefer a girl who doesn't earn much, as there's often a greater chance she's doing what she does for the love of it and isn't motivated by money.

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PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

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I'll go against the majority and say I care. Not because I am shallow, but having dated several women who make significantly less than me, and having seen the problems that caused, it's not something I want to repeat.

Damia Established Member

Damia

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My xHs affair partner/now girlfriend had nothing (possessions ) although she did have a full time job.

Judging by some of his comments in the early days ,He did the "white knight" thing and rescued her :sick:

She now works 20 hours or less. I'm unsure how he feels about that ,must be ok with it as they are still together.

Lobouspo Established Member

Lobouspo

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I'll go against the majority and say I care. Not because I am shallow, but having dated several women who make significantly less than me, and having seen the problems that caused, it's not something I want to repeat.

 

What were the problems?

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J21 Established Member

J21

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Dating someone who makes significantly less? I don't care if she doesn't make a lot.

 

But getting married to? Yeah, I care.

 

Not to sound superficial, but money (or the lack of) sets a whole different tone for marriage together. It can also potentially be a huge source of argument. There is a sense of security and lifestyle generally associated with different income brackets as well.

 

I have set goals and financial goals I'd like to reach. I am not a millionaire, but I do make a comfortable amount. Of course, I'd like to continue this trend and hope my future wife to make comparable or more than I do.

kiss_andmakeup Established Member

kiss_andmakeup

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I have a decent job, but I care relatively little for material things. (Cars, expensive restaurants, etc) so I don't care at all how much a girl earns. I just care that she's not materialistic either.

 

In some ways I actually prefer a girl who doesn't earn much, as there's often a greater chance she's doing what she does for the love of it and isn't motivated by money.

 

This is a good point. My fiancé makes what is considered a lot of money in our area, but I have no desire to sit at home and twiddle my thumbs all day. I do, however, appreciate that because of his income, my career course doesn't have to be dictated by money. I have a job that doesn't pay that well, but I really enjoy it. I also go to school, which obviously pays nothing, but again, I enjoy it. My fiancé doesn't care about the bottom line at all, just that what I'm doing makes me happy.

Keenly Established Member

Keenly

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I would actually enjoy it.

 

Her income would limit the things we do on a day to day basis to things that I am actually interested in, with occasional monthly outings to places like reno or tahoe or santa cruz funded by me.

 

 

 

I'd like that kind of dynamic.

preraph Established Member

preraph

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I've found most guys to be very resentful if the woman makes more money than them. I have found that rich guys, if they're looking for commitment, often do want someone who has her own money so his liability isn't as great if they divorce.

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ain5053 Established Member

ain5053

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I think most important is not whether the other person makes more money than you, but if they make enough to support themselves without your help. For example, I don't care if a guy makes less money than me, but he needs to make enough to have his own place, car, etc....

nofeelings22 Established Member

nofeelings22

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I'm curious if men care if the woman you're dating is making significantly less than you.

 

We don't care at all.

 

If a woman living under a bridge and fighting for scraps from the trash was a good person who I was attracted to, I'd shower her up and date her. :D

DArtagnan2 Established Member

DArtagnan2

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the only time I care is when the female will use a guy to get money because she doesn't want to pay her own way. An example would be there was a girl who lived upstairs from me about a year ago. She lost her job and couldn't pay her rent. She had known me but never flirted or acted like she liked me, until her last few months here. She then hooked up with some dude who she would "never date in a million years" I know this because I heard her talking to the neighbor about how "he is Ok, not like I really like him, but hey, I will have a place to stay." as she was set to move in with him after only knowing him for a month or two.

 

This, I have a problem with whether it is a male or female.

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soccerrprp Established Member

soccerrprp

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I think it's still very common for the woman to make less than the man even today, so venture to say that most guys are okay with it and more comfortable than being the one who makes less than the woman. My gf and soon wife makes tons more money than I do, but I'm fine with and come into the relationship being very financially stable on my own.

 

I hear about more men today leeching off women than ever before. Dynamics have changed in some ways, but not whole lot.

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Lipitor11 Established Member

Lipitor11

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I think some men are dumb and clueless. Men should care how much a woman is making. I mean if he has a professional career, then that should matter. And some women are lucky to get "rescued." I had a few friends from high school, who settled down when they didn't even have any means to support themselves on their own!

normal person Established Member

normal person

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I would actually enjoy it.

 

Her income would limit the things we do on a day to day basis to things that I am actually interested in, with occasional monthly outings to places like reno or tahoe or santa cruz funded by me.

 

 

Could you not do those things if she made her own money?

 

I for one don't understand why any guy wouldn't want his girlfriend making as much as possible. Especially in such tough economic times where living comfortably is becoming more and more of a luxury. Life in general is expensive. Why do some guys insist they have to be the sole breadwinner? Are they that insecure about what they bring to the table otherwise? Is it empowering? Do they need to keep a women dependent on them? I can't relate to anyone who thinks like this. Surely two incomes are better than one. I love smart, professional, accomplished, driven women. I'd rather not date anyone who was that dependent on me.

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hasaquestion Established Member

hasaquestion

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Professional women have attractive qualities. I don't think I could connect with someone without a serious career and that's before getting into prenups and stuff.

 

Right now I'm actually making less. I pay for things more often than not but watching her take out her credit card and wave me off after drinks is sexy.

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