Scarlet2 Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I have a coworker that I'm 100% loyal to, I'll name him Chris, and I'll always have his back, I keep no secrets from him, everybody at work knows where my allegiance is. I also have a couple of coworkers that I go to lunch with but they are just acquaintances and they don't get along well with him so there's always conflict in one way or another, I'll name them Edward and John. Anyway, a situation occurred in which Edward & John did something involving Chris that they shouldn't have done and if I didn't witness it myself, they never would have told him and Chris never would have known. But I was torn on what to do because one minute I was like, Chris needs to know but then I was like, no harm was done so maybe he should stay ignorant about the incident but my conscience said to tell him because if it ever got back to him about what happened and I knew about it and didn't tell him, then he'd be mad at me. So I told him what happened but I requested that he not fly off the handle because it will create a mess if they found out I told him. I reassured him everything was fine, no big deal, but because they don't get along anyway, he got pissed and I knew he wouldn't keep quiet because I know how he is, but telling him what happened was the right thing to do. Chris calls his boss who tells their boss, who already knew but didn't bother to tell Chris's boss, and Edward & John aren't scared that their boss knows, they are scared that Chris knows now and they know I told. So now today, I'm feeling the hostility from only one of them, John, the other one is fine, no hard feelings. I thought I did the right thing but why is John mad at me when it was HE who did the wrongdoing. I talked to Chris about what's going on and he's irritated because he wants it to go away but he's also ready to go ballistic if John crosses his path and I'm feeling bad that Chris is feeling annoyed because I caused it by opening my mouth. So now I'm not sure what to do so that I don't damage my friendship with Chris even further. Did I do the right thing by telling him? Do I leave him alone for a little bit to let things cool off? Am I supposed to stop telling him things if I feel he's going to get set off? And what do I do about John with the way he's treating me now?
MikeyBe Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Kind of hard to give feedback without knowing what they did. Sounds like unnecessary drama at your workplace though. It happens.
Author Scarlet2 Posted June 27, 2014 Author Posted June 27, 2014 Edward needed Chris's vehicle moved back but Chris wasn't at the job at the time to move it so Edward was just going to let it be but John's bright idea was to try to get into the vehicle without permission to release the brake so it could be pushed back. He almost got in but couldn't reach in far enough to get the door open, so trespassing or attempted theft of a vehicle, depending on how hard one wanted to be if overlooking the intention...
MikeyBe Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 Well, if they're going to try some ratchet things like that then they better pull it off. They suck, lol. I'm kinda making light of the situation because the car shouldn't be blocking people in the first place. I understand your dilemma, if that were my car I'd probably punch the guy and would definitely confront him. I know you don't want to cause that kind of drama, but as far as your feelings, kind of a lose-lose situation. Had you not told your friend it'd probably bothered you just as much. This was your only mistake: So I told him what happened but I requested that he not fly off the handle because it will create a mess if they found out I told him. I reassured him everything was fine, no big deal, but because they don't get along anyway, he got pissed and I knew he wouldn't keep quiet because I know how he is, but telling him what happened was the right thing to do. It wasn't your place to request that because it was his car, not yours.
learning_slowly Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 I think this should teach you not to snitch again unless there is some benefit. Nothing happened to the car. Nobody was harmed. 2 guys are now upset. If John found out, you could have said you never knew. Gossiping usually gets you in trouble unless you are doing it on purpose to manipulate others. Learn from your mistake and move on. 1
Author Scarlet2 Posted June 27, 2014 Author Posted June 27, 2014 Unfortunately I do not agree with the philosophy of lying or doing the right thing if it only benefits me, however, I do wrong things if it benefits me, go figure...
preraph Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 I'm confused by the part about Chris would never have known if I hadn't told him and there was no harm done. So if they did something that would adversely affect Chris, then you maybe tell your supervisor. If they did something that was never, as you said, going to be something he even knew about, then you stirred up crap for no reason. I think rather than joining in the gossip, if it was something underhanded that could mess up something of Chris's work, you should have told the supervisor and let him deal with it as he saw fit, if he saw fit. That would solve any future problem of it messing Chris up in some way because the supervisor, even if he chose not to act, would know what happened and not blame Chris - or you for gossiping
darkmoon Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 people who like you will not see a big deal in this, it is a chance to see who wants to see the good in you and who is a fair-weather friend, those who do not want things to blow over are not people you need... you are there to work, some would say let it drop, this will look better than dramatising somebody moving some car around a bit be easy to work with, my two cents, keep the atmosphere light, let others make this like its the crime of the century 1
Author Scarlet2 Posted June 28, 2014 Author Posted June 28, 2014 I'm confused by the part about Chris would never have known if I hadn't told him and there was no harm done. So if they did something that would adversely affect Chris, then you maybe tell your supervisor. If they did something that was never, as you said, going to be something he even knew about, then you stirred up crap for no reason. I think rather than joining in the gossip, if it was something underhanded that could mess up something of Chris's work, you should have told the supervisor and let him deal with it as he saw fit, if he saw fit. That would solve any future problem of it messing Chris up in some way because the supervisor, even if he chose not to act, would know what happened and not blame Chris - or you for gossiping Turns out Chris would have known after all, whether I told him or not, because they didn't secure his vehicle properly so it was obviously messed with. So then he would have been asking around and guess whose name would come up because I saw the whole thing, and then he'd be mad at me for not telling him so I'm glad I did. Their supervisor knew what they did because he caught them right in the middle. He choose to sweep it under the carpet and not tell Chris because the car wasn't moved. Even if someone else had told Chris, he'd still be agitated and annoyed by the incident so I shouldn't really be taking it personal. I can't control how another person is going to feel or react. I did the right thing and I'll do it again. As of yesterday, Chris is back to treating me like he was before, comrades. The supervisor and John are still giving me the cold shoulder.
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