Prettybones Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I have been in a relationship for about a month. Things moved very quickly on my bf's end and he was pushy and wanted to see me a lot in the first few weeks of dating. Then all of a sudden he backed off and became very distant. This made me uncomfortable and was definitely a red flag for me. He was also very secretive about when him and his ex broke up and come to find out they had only broken up a week before him and I began dating. He is 7 years younger than me. That being said I was hesitant to start a relationship with this guy for many reasons and I had a lot of anxiety about the whole situation. I wanted to get to know him first before we put a title on things but he asked me to be his girlfriend very quickly and I should have taken a step back at that point. I have a career and a son who is 4 from my previous marriage. This guy knew my son was part of the package and I discussed with him what I was looking for in a relationship and my expectations from the start. Yesterday I brought up the future and really didn't expect the conversation to blow up like it did. Basically I asked him where he saw things going in the future and he started saying things like "I'm not sure" and "To me this isn't serious" and "I don't want to play the daddy role" and "I want to figure it out I need time". He kept saying I was great and wonderful and he loved being with me, but he really didn't want to be serious. All of this was a complete shock for me because a week before we were making plans to go on a vacation and he had never said anything remotely close to that. I asked him why this was coming out now and he said it was because I asked. So really he would've just been stringing me along for months if I hadn't brought it up. Which also really bothered me. It also caught me off guard what he was saying because I had never expected him or asked him to be a father figure to my son. He has met my son which i was also very careful about. To say the least I am almost offended and I feel like I was played big time by someone who knew they didn't want to be serious but still went along with everything. I'm not sure whether to be thankful I got out of this early or offended that he swept me off my feet so quickly so I couldn't see how shady he really was and how shady his intentions were. After we talked he said, "well I guess we are no longer together, that is all that needs to be said". This just shows me he was looking for a way out and an easy one at that. Any advice appreciated. Thank you.
LostOnes05 Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 You did the right thing by getting out early...This guy is a super flake. Don't worry about him, he knew what he was getting into from the start. He was definitely playing games with you, and neither you or your son deserve a "boy" like this. Find a man that accepts you and your son and WANTS to be there. 1
greenbee81 Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 Sounds like he was using you as a backup plan. I've been in your shoes before.
me85 Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 You did the right thing. Be thankful you did not waste any more time or get too invested in that RS. Seems to me it was a blessing it was so short lived.
imissyou28 Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 Even terrible relationships are wonderful for the first 6 months-1 year. It's what's known as the "honeymoon" period. The honeymoon period of mine lasted ~3 years and we ended up breaking up in five. I'm sorry if it hurts to hear, but there was no potential there.
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