you_can_not_see_me Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 girls, lets say you are attracted to a guy you just recently meet and initially you feel like there is good chemistry between you, But the guy suddenly becomes distant for a while, does that make you lose interest in the guy? has this ever happened to you? would appreciate girl's input on this.
ExpatInItaly Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Yes, it has happened to me. And yes, I lost interest. The guy in question started to warm back up again after some time, but it was too late as I'd already met someone else who was far more enthusiastic. 4
Raena Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Yes, if we just recently met and he suddenly becomes distant I would assume he's not interested in me and be done with him. 5
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted June 26, 2014 Author Posted June 26, 2014 Yes, it has happened to me. And yes, I lost interest. The guy in question started to warm back up again after some time, but it was too late as I'd already met someone else who was far more enthusiastic. haha this sounds exactly like the situation I was wondering about.
Bcole Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Been in similar situation a couple times. Both times interest was still there, if not a little more than before. Nothing to lose, so why not give it a shot? Good luck!
spiderowl Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 If he became distant for a while, I'd probably assume he was no longer interested in me. It would hurt at first and then I would give up and cut myself off from him. If he then suddenly appeared and wanted to get together again, I would be very suspicious and probably not want to risk it. 1
bene Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I'd consider him not interested, be hurt and/or confused for a while and then move on. If he comes back and there is no legitimate reason like a family emergency or something for being distant then I'd suspect that he met someone else meanwhile but it didn't work out. I don't know why you ask but if you intend to play some mindgames blowing hot and cold then there's a good chance that it will not work. 5
todreaminblue Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 havent really had a guy do this to me it confuses me.......when it has happened i am not a fan of games with love interests.......i would give the guy a chance because my heart always gives chances if i felt there were some problems in his life if i knew that it was a game i wouldnt give any chances..................but i would be wary on any guy who did this....as i said i doesnt happen ften...guys dont become distant with me unless they are deceptive.......if he kept doing the push pull thing i would tell him to walk off...life is too short.......deb........... 1
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted June 26, 2014 Author Posted June 26, 2014 I'd consider him not interested, be hurt and/or confused for a while and then move on. If he comes back and there is no legitimate reason like a family emergency or something for being distant then I'd suspect that he met someone else meanwhile but it didn't work out. I don't know why you ask but if you intend to play some mindgames blowing hot and cold then there's a good chance that it will not work. No, I am not planning on doing something like this. I was just wondering cause it might explain a situation I had with a girl.
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I'd consider him not interested, be hurt and/or confused for a while and then move on. If he comes back and there is no legitimate reason like a family emergency or something for being distant then I'd suspect that he met someone else meanwhile but it didn't work out. I don't know why you ask but if you intend to play some mindgames blowing hot and cold then there's a good chance that it will not work. I agree. Maybe it's age or having a low tolerance for bullsh*t or whatever but I'm not into playing games with men at this stage in my life. If you like me, then SHOW me. I certainly will. Actions speak louder than words after all. I'll be damned if I'm going to chase after a guy that seems aloof regarding me never mind sit around waiting for one. No thank you. As one poster already posted, you snooze, you lose BIG time. 3
d0nnivain Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Not only would I lose interest but if he came back he better have a darn good explanation otherwise I would assume I was the fall back position & the girl he actually wanted turned him down & that was the only reason he was back. I also prefer confident men. I'm an alpha female. The dithering & hand wringing gets on my nerves. Because of that as he was fading out I probably would have confronted him about his desire to dissappear as I noticed it happening.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted June 26, 2014 Author Posted June 26, 2014 I agree. Maybe it's age or having a low tolerance for bullsh*t or whatever but I'm not into playing games with men at this stage in my life. If you like me, then SHOW me. I certainly will. Actions speak louder than words after all. I'll be damned if I'm going to chase after a guy that seems aloof regarding me never mind sit around waiting for one. No thank you. As one poster already posted, you snooze, you lose BIG time. How do you show a guy you are interested? 1
soccerrprp Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 No, I am not planning on doing something like this. I was just wondering cause it might explain a situation I had with a girl. Not a girl, but your question is vastly obviously towards YES, the girl will lose interest (or should, imho). Think about practical, common-sense human interactions...you like someone=contact, consistent interest... if you don't or don't really care= disappearing acts, inconsistent contact, playing games 1
HappyLove Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Yes, it's happened and YES I'd lose interest. Any secure woman with half a brain SHOULD lose interest. When a man starts to go cold 9 times out of 10 is because he thinks the grass is greener somewhere else! He usually only starts to warm back up when his "better option" didn't work out. I REFUSE to be a mans second choice. A man should AT THE VERY LEAST let a woman know he's not interested at the time, that I could respect, but instead they play games and come back acting as if nothing ever happened. I've never been desperate enough to take one back.
HappyLove Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 How do you show a guy you are interested? You show a guy your interested by interacting with him, communicating with him, following through on plans. 2
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 How do you show a guy you are interested? It's common sense kind of stuff like HappyLove pointed out already; being engaging and interested in what the guy is saying, carrying my end of the conversation by making sure to ask questions about him and his life. Other cues are undeniable like eye contact, smiling and laughing, flirting and/or flirty comments and gestures. Body language is a DEAD give away; leaning in closer when he's talking as well as gently touching his hand or arm. The interest extends beyond a single face-to-face encounter as well. If I'm into you and I know you're into me, texting you a simple "It was great meeting you" or something like this that shows that my door is wide open. If you can't figure it out from there then you have no business dating a woman like me in the first place 2
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted June 26, 2014 Author Posted June 26, 2014 It's common sense kind of stuff like HappyLove pointed out already; being engaging and interested in what the guy is saying, carrying my end of the conversation by making sure to ask questions about him and his life. Other cues are undeniable like eye contact, smiling and laughing, flirting and/or flirty comments and gestures. Body language is a DEAD give away; leaning in closer when he's talking as well as gently touching his hand or arm. The interest extends beyond a single face-to-face encounter as well. If I'm into you and I know you're into me, texting you a simple "It was great meeting you" or something like this that shows that my door is wide open. If you can't figure it out from there then you have no business dating a woman like me in the first place But a lot of girls who want to just be friends do most the stuff you mentioned above too. I had girls do all of the above and when I finally asked them out they turned me down saying they had boyfriends. As far as I m concerned that's not really showing you are interested, it simply shows that you don't dislike the guy but it doesn't really show that you have romantic interest.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted June 26, 2014 Author Posted June 26, 2014 Yes, it's happened and YES I'd lose interest. Any secure woman with half a brain SHOULD lose interest. When a man starts to go cold 9 times out of 10 is because he thinks the grass is greener somewhere else! He usually only starts to warm back up when his "better option" didn't work out. I REFUSE to be a mans second choice. A man should AT THE VERY LEAST let a woman know he's not interested at the time, that I could respect, but instead they play games and come back acting as if nothing ever happened. I've never been desperate enough to take one back. lol, as if girls do that. anyway, consider the possibility that the guy might be shy and or too busy 1
GravityMan Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 It's pretty simple. If a guy or woman is genuinely into you, he/she will openly show that regularly (but not so frequently that it comes across as clingy) via communication, interaction, treating him/her to various things, spontaneity, providing emotional support, being there for you when you're in a bad situation (sick, unemployed, etc.). He would be willing to be vulnerable with you. Also, he wouldn't have to "try" to show his interest; he would just do it...in other words, it would come effortlessly and naturally to him or her. He would feel strange not doing it. That is the way the vast majority of human beings are wired. If someone suddenly or gradually becomes distant for a while without any obvious catalyst (thus excluding cases of folks becoming distant due to passive-aggressiveness), there's a very good chance it's because his interest in you is waning or gone. People like that are mentally weak.
greenbee81 Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 How long is considered distant? I'm currently trying to avoid contacting this girl I'm talking to, in fear of looking clingy. I guess there's a line, I just don't know where it is.
Author you_can_not_see_me Posted June 27, 2014 Author Posted June 27, 2014 It's pretty simple. If a guy or woman is genuinely into you, he/she will openly show that regularly (but not so frequently that it comes across as clingy) via communication, interaction, treating him/her to various things, spontaneity, providing emotional support, being there for you when you're in a bad situation (sick, unemployed, etc.). He would be willing to be vulnerable with you. Also, he wouldn't have to "try" to show his interest; he would just do it...in other words, it would come effortlessly and naturally to him or her. He would feel strange not doing it. That is the way the vast majority of human beings are wired. If someone suddenly or gradually becomes distant for a while without any obvious catalyst (thus excluding cases of folks becoming distant due to passive-aggressiveness), there's a very good chance it's because his interest in you is waning or gone. People like that are mentally weak. well sometimes a shy guy might back off a bit if he isn't too sure about himself and is intimidated by the girl. The girl could probably stil tell if the guy is interested if she paid attention though.
aprilisi Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 Believe me, I understand busy. But a man can at least shoot you a quick text or email. Doesn't take but about a minute out of your busy day. And it doesn't need to be every day. If he's busy once every 3 days to a week would suffice....just to show he hasn't forgotten you. Last guy that did that to me was silent for 6 weeks. Then comes along and says he was busy and lost my number. We're not friends on Facebook but he is active on there, as am I. And he knows this. I call bulls**t. I told him so and that I wasn't interested anymore. Now I get a text every day, which I ignore. Hopfully he'll give up soon 1
travelbug1996 Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 How do you show a guy you are interested? i answer the phone when he calls and say yes when he asks me out properly.
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