pappa k Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I'm 24 and a single parent . Is having a kid going to be a deal breaker with women who don't have kids themselves ?
d0nnivain Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 For some women it will be. At 24 the last thing I wanted was responsibility for somebody else's kid. Other women may have children themselves or just love kids so much it will be a positive rather than a negative. For some people your favorite sports team could be a deal breaker. Don't worry about the ones for whom it will be a problem. Focus on the ones who think it's a good thing or who are at least neutral about your child. 3
preraph Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 For some but not all. Young single women without kids have no reason to need or want to take on someone else's kids, because kids are a huge responsibility and they're young and carefree, but other older women with kids will probably be looking for someone like you and you can help each other. Chances are even if you did find a young girl in her twenties who overlooked you having kids, she wouldn't have a clue what she was getting into and how much responsibility it would be and would bail eventually anyway. That's why to me, it's not fair to even put them in that position.
TheBladeRunner Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 It can be for some, but others no. It's been a huge deal breaker in my age bracket lately. I am 47 and have a 6 year old; many of the woman in my age range either have older kids or in many cases the kids are already gone. I get it, they don't want to deal with a younger child and that is OK.
carrie_o Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 It can be a great way to weed out the people who are wrong for you. 2
MissBee Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 For some people it will be and for some people it won't. A man having a child isn't a dealbreaker for me although my ideal situation is to be with a man who doesn't have children as it's easier. My last two boyfriends had one child each and my current bf has none and this situation is far more conducive to my lifestyle for various reasons. But point is, I wasn't opposed to a man with children and other women feel the same. Although, are you ruling out single mothers? You asked about single women with no kids....but what about single mothers? I think single mothers will probably understand and be more amenable to your situation than young women without kids.
Imported Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 I am a single man with no kids. I'd have problems with single women with kids, whether she has full custody and maybe even if they only visit. Still thinking it over. I mean, this is not just a preference thing. It is a total game changer for me. It'd be her, her kid/s, her kids father/s and maybe even the father/s parents...who knows. Do I really want to deal with that? If I don't even know her well and I have other options, I am more than likely going with the other options. If you have no problems with women that have kids, you're in luck. Lots of women out there with a kid or 3 that are single and attractive. I'd assume they'd have no problems that you have a kid as well. You guys could be like the Pappa K Bunch. 2
thefooloftheyear Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 Might want to check this out... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/familial/parenting/481528-kids-always-1st TFY
yessy21 Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 If its a deal breaker to them then they don't deserve you or your kid(s). A good woman is smart enough to know that a single father that puts his kids first and foremost is a good catch.
preraph Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 ^ a good catch for a single mother but probably not so much for the single woman who just wants to date and have a man's full attention -- unless she's kid crazy. Not too many people are really into other people's kids and the kids are rarely ever into them. Like a prior poster pointed out, it comes with a list of exes and their families you have to deal with besides the kids. It's a lot. 1
TheBladeRunner Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 I'm 24 and a single parent . Is having a kid going to be a deal breaker with women who don't have kids themselves ? Question OP: What is the custody arrangement? 50/50, 80/20, etc.? This will sound like the pot calling the kettle black, but I find dating the single mom that has the kids 85% - 100% of the time very difficult and I typically try for woman with older kids or at least 60/40. Not that the full time single mom isn't worthy of dating, but sole custody has been challenging in the past, and the woman I dated agreed.
organizedchaos Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 I'm 24 and a single parent . Is having a kid going to be a deal breaker with women who don't have kids themselves ? Yes, for some women, it will be. My last relationship ended because I have a kid and she decided she didn't want to be a stepmom. And this was after 3 years of being together. Others won't even date you because of it. But don't let it get you down, I don't. Just like the height issue thread - you can't change some things about yourself. So make the best of what you have!
Author pappa k Posted June 30, 2014 Author Posted June 30, 2014 Question OP: What is the custody arrangement? 50/50, 80/20, etc.? This will sound like the pot calling the kettle black, but I find dating the single mom that has the kids 85% - 100% of the time very difficult and I typically try for woman with older kids or at least 60/40. Not that the full time single mom isn't worthy of dating, but sole custody has been challenging in the past, and the woman I dated agreed. Mom has full custody but I see my kid every other day and she stays with me every other weekend 1
greenbee81 Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 I would say so. My buddy has 2 kids and very difficult to keep a GF, though easy for him to meet women. I tend to avoid women with children.
TheBladeRunner Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 Mom has full custody but I see my kid every other day and she stays with me every other weekend Good deal! You will still get the dating challenges because you have a child, but the split custody will help.
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 As you can clearly see there is not black or white answer to your question. Whether or not it's a deal break will depend on each woman individually. What I WILL say to you is that, for ME, I'm less concerned about a man having kids as I am about his relationship with his ex. And what I mean by that is if he and his ex hate each other or have a history of ongoing drama where they use their children as innocent pawns in their games and battles, I'm OUT! THAT is a SERIOUS deal breaker to me. I think you can tell a lot about a persona's character by the way they conduct themselves with their ex as well as how they speak about them. Obviously they're are an "ex" for a reason. At the same time, I don't want to be with a man who is still pining for his ex but to go around bad mouthing and/or sabotaging each other out of spite is absolutely unacceptable in my world and I have zero tolerance for it. You don't have be best friends with your ex but you have to respect the fact that they are your child's other parent and at one point in your relationship, you loved each other enough to create life. Honoring and respecting that is very attractive. Anyway, just one woman's opinion Good luck.
Elle1975 Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 I'm 24 and a single parent . Is having a kid going to be a deal breaker with women who don't have kids themselves ? To some, to me it isn't. Provided that the man and I have the same views on parenting. If not, it's asking for trouble.
smackie9 Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 (edited) It's definitely a game changer. I'm 50 and I would never date someone that is raising kids. It's a no brainer your chances are better with someone that has kids them self, because you have this in common and understand the challenges of being a single parent. Edited July 1, 2014 by smackie9
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