life-is-short Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I've been in no contact for 15 days. I know it is only the beginning. Today is her birthday and I thought I was doing so well, but I'm very sad today and I miss her so much. I know that the relationship is over. I accept it and I actually don't want her back, even if she would ask (I know she won't). So mentally I'm very clear about this. But I'm not emotionally or physiologically there yet and I miss her. I want to e-mail her/text her so much, but I won't. Next month she has the anniversary of one of her parent's death and I would like to e-mail her/text her for that, too. Again, I know I shouldn't so I won't. I just wish this pain would go away. She is out there having a good time and I doubt she misses me. Hurts my ego. I know I can't rush the healing process, but I wish I could make this sadness and pain go away. I'm hanging in there, but just sad. Ugh. 1
d0nnivain Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 the pain will go away. These milestones feel like reasons to reach out . . . but you know that they are only excuses. Stay strong.
ProcessingThisBU Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Maybe sounds awful, but just think that she wanted you out of her life, so you don't have to send any message on her birthday, and on any ocassion. (I used this thought the day of her birthday too) That's what she wanted, so stick to that. And maybe think that if you send a message today, you're restarting the 15 days of healing, you don't want that. I know is a very difficult day, but take it day by day, and it will pass. Stay strong, you can do this. We're here with you. 1
lovebug_5858 Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Congrats for keeping up your NC, But definitely just keep chugging along... You know you shouldn't and that's great. I'm right there with you, I know I shouldn't but I still miss him... And I think We'll feel that way for a while. Just know that its natural, and you're not alone. 1
Lyn77 Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Keep the momentum going! Every time you get the urge to call or text, hold a good thought for 15 seconds. A good, positive thought about what you want for your future! I broke NC recently and feel even worse! It is better to move on when the relationship cannot be saved, than to torment yourself with the "what ifs" and initiating contact again. 1
Elle1975 Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I've been in no contact for 15 days. I know it is only the beginning. Today is her birthday and I thought I was doing so well, but I'm very sad today and I miss her so much. I know that the relationship is over. I accept it and I actually don't want her back, even if she would ask (I know she won't). So mentally I'm very clear about this. But I'm not emotionally or physiologically there yet and I miss her. I want to e-mail her/text her so much, but I won't. Next month she has the anniversary of one of her parent's death and I would like to e-mail her/text her for that, too. Again, I know I shouldn't so I won't. I just wish this pain would go away. She is out there having a good time and I doubt she misses me. Hurts my ego. I know I can't rush the healing process, but I wish I could make this sadness and pain go away. I'm hanging in there, but just sad. Ugh. Aw.. I know it.. sucks? That's a poor term to use but then again that's right to the point. As for speeding up the healing process, I believe you can make it less painful, even if the length might be the same. You say she is having fun without you? Go change your mind. Whatever you like to do, do it, even if you don't "feel" like it. You're right not to contact her. Do not. I haven't contacted my ex since the break up. He actually talked about me to his friend. That makes me want to stay NC even more. It's like I feel empowered by it now. Eventually you will find yourself empowered too.
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