turbo-p Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 NC is the best way and 6 weeks down the line I would be a lot better if this was a possibility..but it's not. She's out all the time at new bf's, it will take god knows how long for her to move (claim housing etc) and all the time we still have to see each other which puts me back to square 1. Today I said I can't do this, Im not being rude but I have to stop seeing/talking any more than is necessary. She wants to be friends, chat n stuff which I have tried but this is too hard. We had already done lunch together out this week and gone for a drive to chill out. She said I don't have to be cold to her, but I think all the time I am friends it just makes things easier for her and harder for me. When she goes out its easier and I'm ok but every time she's back and leaves it kills me.
mammasita Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 You're absolutely right. There is NO reason why you should have to deal with her for any reason other than your child. Do you have a place that you can go until she leaves?
Author turbo-p Posted June 26, 2014 Author Posted June 26, 2014 No this my house I own it! We bought it together (my name only) and it's far from all my friends etc its in a lovely village now Im stuck. I did everything for her, pay ALL the bills (and hers up until this month) but she got bored of the routine etc, and arguments we had in the past (me stressing over money, missing chance to get engaged, etc etc). She still says I'm her best friend but she just doesn't feel the same any more. Apparently I'm an amazing guy every girls dream but she can't make herself love me.
Author turbo-p Posted June 26, 2014 Author Posted June 26, 2014 She had bad depression after our boy was born (he's one and a half) and is just starting to get her body back and go out more. She is one of those people that can't be alone always has to be around friends or doing something.
No Limit Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 If she's the party-type there's no way you can change it. That's why they shouldn't be married until they mature, if they ever mature. And you don't have to endure this. If it's about your kid, then you need to talk, but in no other scenario. Stay friends, really? Don't need any enemies with friends like backstabbers. Until she's out of the house try to get some space. Maybe there's a place worth visiting over the weekend nearby so you can stay at a hotel or something.
Hoaks Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 Im in pretty much the same boat. Except we dont own the house and no child together. She wants to be friends, i still have feelings. And it kills me when she here and then will go out. Her phone going off with messages all the time. She cant understand why we cant live together as friends. Its easy for the ones that have already lost those feelings. I need to get out. She does hurtful things too, she will call me, and if i miss the call and try to call her back in 5 minutes she does not pick up and wont call back at all. No other option than to get out, and i am currently saving to get my own place. Yes, its like back to square one every single day. Groundhog day :(
Author turbo-p Posted June 27, 2014 Author Posted June 27, 2014 Is this because she is trying to wean herself off you slowly? I think that's whats happening in my situation, she's always out and I never contact her but she always rings/texts to ask this n that, like with some hospital appointments she's got coming up or to say she's picked me some brochures up for some work I need doing in my garden. I don't take these as signs, I just think she can't detach herself fully very easily after 4 years. I need to go NC after this weekend and make it clear why. I really hope we are back together in the future but in the meantime I'm not going to be second to another guy and stick around for conversation when she's bored or misses me for 5 minutes.
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