danny12 Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Okay I have major OCD. Like big time. and thistime the thought was "If my gf gained weight would I still love her" then form there my ocd got worst. its going "yes you will" and "No you wouldn't" and when my mind thinks "No you wouldn't" I start freaking out even more and get super upset because im worried it means I do not love her now. I don't know what to do. I hate OCD a lot. How can I check to make sure I WILL still love her if she was to gain a lot of weight. If she was to gian like 50 lbs, I wouldn't care at all. But if I imagine her weighing like 300-400 lbs I feel grossed out. WHY. And I do love my girlfriend. Ugh fml
Gaeta Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 No way to know, you'll just cross that bridge if ever you get there. End of story. Take a deep breath and put your attention on something else. 3
PegNosePete Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Dude - this has nothing to do with your gf's weight or whether you love her or not. And you know that. Most OCD sufferers are highly intelligent and know all about their illness and symptoms so if you look at it, you'll see I'm right. It's a figment of your illness. Your inability to rationalize your fears. Nobody here can tell you yes or no because you can't think about it rationally. Telling you yes or no will only feed your OCD, not sure it. Dude you need to get help with your illness, not exacerbate the symptoms. Are you on medication or getting CBT? The answer to your question: if your gf were to gain weight and you stopped loving her, you would have to handle that situation if it happened. It's OK to be worried about that, it's normal. But it's not normal to obsess over it. 5
Zahara Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 The weight is not an issue. You need to get help with your OCD if it's crippling you. 3
preraph Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 (edited) I was think and attractive most of my life, but I put on a lot of weight during middle age, so now I'm huge fat. I wouldn't expect any of my old boyfriends to still find me attractive, but I think most of them would still love me as a person. I know as a woman, with men the big deal is them losing their hair. I'm really a hair person. I don't even like guys with short hair as far as physically attracted. I like long hair. So balding is a big deal to me or cutting the hair. So when I was in my 20s, my love interest had beautiful hair and then styles changed and he chopped it off and yes, I was disgusted, but I didn't stop loving him. I just closed my eyes and pretended he still had the long hair I found sexy. While you might never choose a fat woman to start dating now and i might never choose a bald man to start dating now, it seems to me that once you love someone and you age together, you still more or less remember them as they were in their prime and so it's much easier to accept. Right when I turned 50, I looked up an old flame, the most handsome guy I ever knew. I used to just thrill at the sight of him and it lasted for many years with me having this bad crush on him. We went on a date. Of course, he had changed a lot. What had been the best face on the planet was now covered with a beard and he has some eye damage. But when I sat next to him at dinner and felt his leg brush mine, it all came back and to me he is still that 30 year old guy with the amazing swagger, and always will be. People's looks all deteriorate as they age, so whether it's wrinkles or baldness or fatness, it's all the same bag of worms we all face and somehow get through! So stop worrying and just enjoy today and tomorrow for what it is. Edited June 26, 2014 by preraph 3
central Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Most of us are initially attracted by someone's looks, and come to love them based on who they are in combination with that physical attraction. Over time, looks with inevitably fade, and love may grow. Extreme negative changes in either looks or personality can diminish or kill love, of course. However, moderate changes usually aren't a problem. If my wife became obese, I'd probably lose my attraction for her. I might still love her, though. If she neglected her health and that was the reason for weight gain, I'd be far less forgiving, especially if I had worked to maintain my own health. 2
Priv Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I was think and attractive most of my life, but I put on a lot of weight during middle age, so now I'm huge fat. I wouldn't expect any of my old boyfriends to still find me attractive, but I think most of them would still love me as a person. I know as a woman, with men the big deal is them losing their hair. I'm really a hair person. I don't even like guys with short hair as far as physically attracted. I like long hair. So balding is a big deal to me or cutting the hair. So when I was in my 20s, my love interest had beautiful hair and then styles changed and he chopped it off and yes, I was disgusted, but I didn't stop loving him. I just closed my eyes and pretended he still had the long hair I found sexy. While you might never choose a fat woman to start dating now and i might never choose a bald man to start dating now, it seems to me that once you love someone and you age together, you still more or less remember them as they were in their prime and so it's much easier to accept. Right when I turned 50, I looked up an old flame, the most handsome guy I ever knew. I used to just thrill at the sight of him and it lasted for many years with me having this bad crush on him. We went on a date. Of course, he had changed a lot. What had been the best face on the planet was now covered with a beard and he has some eye damage. But when I sat next to him at dinner and felt his leg brush mine, it all came back and to me he is still that 30 year old guy with the amazing swagger, and always will be. People's looks all deteriorate as they age, so whether it's wrinkles or baldness or fatness, it's all the same bag of worms we all face and somehow get through! So stop worrying and just enjoy today and tomorrow for what it is. Not at all. I decided from a very young age I am going to be this gorgeous greek god forever
leavesonautumn Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I agree with the other posters saying your issue here isn't your gf gaining weight, but your OCD. People generally don't just all of a sudden weigh 300 to 400 pounds overnight. People who naturally take good care of themselves tend to stay that way for the most part but life will sometimes get in the way and we can't worry about what will or won't happen. I think almost anyone wouldn't be happy if their spouse weighs 400 pounds, that's not gaining weight, that's obese and shows that she does not care about herself or her health.
preraph Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Not at all. I decided from a very young age I am going to be this gorgeous greek god forever And you will be -- to any woman whoever truly loved you. 2
Dallers Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 As a sufferer of mild OCD you need to try and divert your thoughts to fact and reasoning. Look at the facts about what you are thinking and how difficult it would be for her to achieve. Does she do any exercise? Because a person would need to eat an obscene amount of calories to gain the weight you are thinking about. Not only that you have to go way past the mental block that tells you to stop gaining weight to continue gaining weight to the point of 50lbs + and if she does exercise then it would be even harder. Even if your brain is telling you that you would or would not love her the actual picture that should focus on is how unlikely this is to actually happen. So the thought is void and you will quickly move your anxiety onto something else. Horrible thing OCD.
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