Lou84 Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Hey all, I felt not explained my storyy well. I was in a relationship with a girl for only 6 weeks, but those 6 weeks were very intense and the attraction and connection was imenese. We met online. During those 6 weeks we both fell in love and both came out to our family and friends. She has been in 3 relationships with men in the past, but always felt she was gay. She said all the stuff off how, no one has made her as happy as I have, how much she gets butterflys and never wanted to kiss someone as much as me. She used to be very hot and cold, and one day I said I can't deal with you being cold and best we end it if you are going to carry on being this way. Anyway, it ended as she said fine your right. I tried to make contact to say I was sorry etc, but she did not reply, I tried to make contact on dating website and sent her a sorry card. A week after this she calls me to say stop contacting me, she wont change her mind, it's over. So I accepted it and left her alone for 1 week, during this week I went back on the dating website. I then got a text to say, why are you contacting me if you are going on the dating website, you obv have moved on so stop contacting me, she also said I am not on there, but I thought I check and everytime I checked you are on there! I asked her if she doesn't want me why is she so bothered that I am back on the dating website. She said it's none of her business and she knows I am not right for her. I then said I will be at the train station near her house tomorrow if she wants to meet, the next day she texted me to say, 'please don't waste your time I will not be there, and she also said how jealous I used to try make her feel and she had all that with her ex and wouldn''t have that again (I never used to make her jealous by the way, she felt I did by a few comments I made about someone asking me out) she said no matter what her heart says she has to listen to her head, as that stops her heart getting hurt and in her mind it's over. So do you think I have a chance? Do you thinkher heart will win?
Zahara Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 The intensity in the beginning was about two people enjoying the newness of it all. The butterlfies. You both "fell in love" with those feel good emotions. It's not indicative of true and long standing compatibility. I think the novelty has worn off for her. And if she is telling you to back off, please do so and start moving on with your life. Even if her heart wins, why would you want to go back to someone that is hot and cold to you, because that's going to resurface again for whatever reason she behaved that way.
Griesfootball Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I agree 6 weeks is that lovey dovey stuff and if it was meant to be the initial relationship would have lasted a lot longer
Author Lou84 Posted June 26, 2014 Author Posted June 26, 2014 Hmm I have to disagree a little, as I have been on loads of dates and not felt this way before in a very very long time! No matter how long or short something is, if you have a connection and feelings and come out for each other, surley this says alot?
Zahara Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Hmm I have to disagree a little, as I have been on loads of dates and not felt this way before in a very very long time! No matter how long or short something is, if you have a connection and feelings and come out for each other, surley this says alot? You may have felt a certain way but she doesn't and it was starting to be evident in her hot and cold towards you. Yes, you can have a connection and feelings but there has to be staying power. Weeks into it and she's hot and cold = almost tolerating you doesn't say anything but that the novelty has worn off for her. You mentioned you didn't like the hot and cold and suggested a break-up and she didn't even fight for you or attempt to try and work it out. That says a lot. You're projecting how you feel. She's showing you how she feels. Pay attention to that. 1
Author Lou84 Posted June 26, 2014 Author Posted June 26, 2014 but why is she saying now that, she is angry at me for ruining us, how she wish it could be diff, but me making her jealous she wont have as her ex did all this?
Zahara Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 but why is she saying now that, she is angry at me for ruining us, how she wish it could be diff, but me making her jealous she wont have as her ex did all this? It's easier to blame and project the demise of it all on you. It's manipulative. She gets to play puppet master while you sit there and cary the burden. She gets to walk away feeling like she did nothing wrong. And part of it is that her ego was bruised because you ended it and now it's her way to turn it all on you. 1
Author Lou84 Posted June 26, 2014 Author Posted June 26, 2014 I don't know what to think she must feel something if she's been looking for me on datung website then gets angry?!
Zahara Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I don't know what to think she must feel something if she's been looking for me on datung website then gets angry?! Ok, then you should wait around for her heart to change or you can keep badgering her with contact. I'm not sure what else to say to you. The woman has asked you to leave her alone. You asked her to meet you and she said no. Jealousy doesn't mean love, it's control. She may not want you but doesn't want anyone to have you because you boost her ego. You give her attention. You checking out other women bruises her ego and makes her mad because the attention isn't on her.
Chi townD Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I could be wrong because, to be honest, I'm not gay; however, I feel that your Ex is still struggling or coming to terms with her own sexuality. You stated that she had relationships with men. Therefore, I'm assuming that you are her first lesbian relationship. And even you could probably admit that the dynamic of a relationship between a man and a woman is different than what it could be between a woman and a woman or a man and a man. So, this was completely new to her and she probably didn't know how to process these intense feelings. Thus, making her bolt. And it's still obvious that she doesn't know how to process it even after the break up with you moving on. She says no way in hell about getting together; yet, she's seeks you out on dating sites and such, trying to call you out on it. Which is weird. So, I think you need to let this one go so she can sort her own sh*t out.
Author Lou84 Posted June 26, 2014 Author Posted June 26, 2014 Thank you so much guys for your comments. i have now gone back on.the dating websites is this a bad thing?! I mean I have tried to be nice and loving and tell her im not her ex. if she doesnt want me why ahw checking me up on dating websites? Do u think she will check again?
Chi townD Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Thank you so much guys for your comments. i have now gone back on.the dating websites is this a bad thing?! I mean I have tried to be nice and loving and tell her im not her ex. if she doesnt want me why ahw checking me up on dating websites? Do u think she will check again? Probably. But, if she tries to call you on it again, just ignore it. I mean, she stated that she's not going to be with you and wants nothing to do with you; well, you have the right to move on with your life. And if you're ready to date again, then nothing should stop you from doing that. You shouldn't have to be reclusive because SHE'S not ready to date or whatever...
Author Lou84 Posted June 26, 2014 Author Posted June 26, 2014 Thanks for getting back to me. do you think she will try make contact again? Do you think she will want to get back with me and why has she ran over something so small x
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