Lernaean_Hydra Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I see this turn of phrase get thrown around a lot but it always struck me as odd, namely because I'm left wondering how much truth there really is to it. I mean, is this always really the case? Does anyone think that maybe just maybe there are some people who are getting exactly what they deserve in life? Or is it wrong to assume that for some, whatever heartbreak, misfortune, etc that has befallen them is completely just? Is it wrong to think that there are certain people whom, for whatever reasons, really don't deserve any better? 4
WhiskeyJack Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Some people completely deserve what they get, but they'll be the first to say they didn't deserve it. Everyone feels entitled at some point. 1
Yamaha Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people too. I'm saying you may/may not deserve what happens to you. How you handle it is the lesson! 4
fortyninethousand322 Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I think everyone generally gets what they deserve in life. I've heard enough sob stories to know it's all just crocodile tears... 2
Author Lernaean_Hydra Posted June 26, 2014 Author Posted June 26, 2014 I agree. I think most people are just unwilling to accept responsibility for their lives. Much easier to say you deserve better than it is to go out and and try to earn better. Yet then I have to wonder if it's even a matter of going out and earning it anymore. I mean, whether you believe in it or not, at some point haven't you acumulated enough "bad karma" or simply been too lackadaisical in your approach to things in your life for that not to even be a possibility anymore? The poor 30-something OW of 5 years crying over her MMs decision not to leave his wife, the 40yr old male lamenting the fact that he's stuck with a poor seletion and can't find a decent woman who doesn't want money/status/looks after having spent two decades running through dozens of suitable chicks, etc. I've seen it all but the de facto response seems to always be that one must persevere and stay strong for they deserve so much better!
littleplanet Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Yet then I have to wonder if it's even a matter of going out and earning it anymore. I mean, whether you believe in it or not, at some point haven't you acumulated enough "bad karma" or simply been too lackadaisical in your approach to things in your life for that not to even be a possibility anymore? The poor 30-something OW of 5 years crying over her MMs decision not to leave his wife, the 40yr old male lamenting the fact that he's stuck with a poor seletion and can't find a decent woman who doesn't want money/status/looks after having spent two decades running through dozens of suitable chicks, etc. I've seen it all but the de facto response seems to always be that one must persevere and stay strong for they deserve so much better! I think some people truly do deserve better than they get. I also think this can be completely different than a sense of entitlement. The difference between the two? ......taking responsibility for your life......making an honest attempt to do your best......refusing to quit, whine or blame it on others..... But many of us do seem to live in a culture that screams through the media (in an "advertising" sort of way) that we always "deserve" the best (at a price.) And we can be anything, have anything, accomplish anything....if we but wish upon a star first, and make up our minds. And this works for the one, it seems, while the other 999 fail miserably. (and wonder what's wrong with them.) When I was a kid I dreamed of being a rock star. When I was a teenager I felt entitled to it. In my twenties I couldn't understand why I didn't deserve it. And many years later, I'm having way too much damned fun being the musician I am, to ever worry about those younger dreams, ever again. And now, those rare times someone in a club crowd says something about how unfair the music biz is (or was - to me).....I just smile. I do believe I deserve exactly what I got! 1
Assasda Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 “The only thing that makes life unfair is the delusion that it should be fair.” 3
Els Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I've never truly meant 'better will come to you with zero effort' when I tell someone they deserve better. Of course there needs to be effort - effort that starts with breaking off a R that is toxic for them. I don't think it's a literal truth (obviously), because nobody 'deserves' ANYthing in life, really. There are no guarantees. But people can change the odds with their choices. 2
David87 Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I think i deserved to be dumped by my ex and God took care of her getting rid of the bad in her life (me)
BlueIris Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I don’t think people “deserve” anything. The concept seems to assume that there is some calculus operating or some omniscient overseer, who probably has the same morals and priorities that the believer has. So, no, I don’t think people get what they deserve or have what they deserve, because I don’t think “deserve” exists. But I do think that craving and expectation (I deserve, you deserve, etc) can cause suffering.
Emilia Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 When I use the term 'I deserve better' it is in terms of how the other person treats me or tries to treat me. I don't really know who deserves unhappiness? Does anyone? Who decides?
soccerrprp Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I see this turn of phrase get thrown around a lot but it always struck me as odd, namely because I'm left wondering how much truth there really is to it. I mean, is this always really the case? Does anyone think that maybe just maybe there are some people who are getting exactly what they deserve in life? Or is it wrong to assume that for some, whatever heartbreak, misfortune, etc that has befallen them is completely just? Is it wrong to think that there are certain people whom, for whatever reasons, really don't deserve any better? I believe people deserve what they put into anything they do. In relationships, players, manipulators, abusers, etc. don't deserve better. But, unfortunately, many nasty people do get good people only to ruin/taint them. Life is NOT fair and we do not always get what we deserve.
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