SCJACK Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 (edited) Just wanted to say that NC does indeed help to get better and really the only way to get out of the slums of heartbreak and hurt. Currently, I still do think about my ex maybe once or twice a day, but it doesn't have an affect on me. Occasionally on emotional moments I would feel a little heart broken but it won't get me down to the hurt level I used to be at. Sometimes I even forgot if I had thought about her on a certain day. So each day it gets better and better. I no longer wish she came back, I accepted that. I'm okay with where I am now in life and if she did come back then that would be great but it probably won't happen. I won't hold on to the hopes that she will. I realized that it really is her loss and she lost ALOT. I know who I am... an amazing guy who has alot of love to give for the people who want me to be in their life. Someone who was willing to make sacrifices to make someone else happy. I understand now that I have a bright future ahead, successful, smart, and hopeful that one day someone will realize who I am.... and whoever that girl may be, she will be the luckiest girl. For the past month I started working full time. My mind has been focused on that, it is a very stressful and indeed challenging job. But I know I will make it through and become even more successful. I currently don't really have a social life (no female friends... and several male friends who I don't see often due to my work schedule) at work there is also nobody to really connect with.... a few months back I would have thought about this and realized how lonely and depressing it is. But now I don't feel that anymore. Even when I realize I have nobody around me now, I don't feel sad or depressed. Everyday that passes, I am being the best person I can be and I'm living my life as the days come at me... I will be successful. I make quite alot of money for my age and it is a blessing. I don't have time to go to the gym (There's a free 24/7 gym for employees ) but once I get used to the job and the schedule, I will continue to get physically in better shape as the stress is affecting my health.... maybe someone will notice me when I'm back in shape... I'm like a diamond in the beach sand waiting to be found. OH yeah, just wanted to mention this, I had changed my profile pic on viber to me and this girl (she's prettier than my ex) and I used to talk to my ex on viber as well, so the chat log was saved in there. I noticed my ex hasn't been on for at least 5 or so days. But the night I changed my profile pic, the next morning I woke up and my ex changed her pic as well to some sad face picture she put of herself. Few days after, I was working and my ex "called" me on viber, I checked my phone and it was a missed call. In viber, you have to move your screen down to see the full profile pic and the "call" button is right under it. She must have been checking out my profile pic and accidentally pushed call caught her red handed! Her bday is coming up in 2 weeks and I ain't gon' say shietttt! Too bad, I had plans for her bday before we broke up.. looks like she won't be getting that $1500 purse she liked. Edited June 26, 2014 by SCJACK 5
lovebug_5858 Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I don't know your story, but as I always find it uplifting when people talk about how NC worked and that they are OKAY without their ex. Good for you 1
ProcessingThisBU Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Yeah! you give hope to some of us that are in NC, but having tough times. Comments like this one, gives us force to continue NC and continue going through this. I'm one month, one week NC, 4 months since BU, but today I almost bump with my ex at my job (she went to pick some papers). So I'm having a difficult day. Let's keep going. 3
Author SCJACK Posted June 26, 2014 Author Posted June 26, 2014 For me, I didn't really force myself to go NC. There was a point when I truly decided I can't talk to her anymore, I can't do anything to change anything, I just let go... I know it's hard to let go but you must get to that point to truly be in NC without feeling like crap. It'll be easy once you truly let go... I didn't even count the days of NC I just stopped everything and moved on with life. Letting go goes along with realizing the girl is not worth your time... You are the most important person, focus on you, you must take care of yourself first before you can even take care of someone else. You are the priority...
Yamaha Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 You are giving them what they wanted, life without you. Look at it as their loss and search for that one who values you through the good and bad times. That is the one worth fighting for! 3
Author SCJACK Posted July 8, 2014 Author Posted July 8, 2014 (edited) During 4th of July I was helping a friend move, I checked my phone and about an HR before I had 2 missed calls on her Viber... I thought it was important since it's 2 missed calls... so I stepped out and called her... now viber is an app and there is no voice mail so you can let it ring as long as you'd like, so I let it ring for a decent amount of time before ending it. I step back into a house for 1 minute and get a text from her saying "sry i misdialed you" I replied "okay".... i'm not stupid, if i'm going to call her for that length of time and a minute later have her text back, I'm pretty sure she was staring at her phone while I was calling and wondering if she should pick up or not.. Who does that?? Who calls "miss called" me twice on a phone app, to me it seems intentional because I haven't talked to her in months so my name should be on the bottom of her list... and what kind of ticked me off is that she didn't even bother asking how I was doing, didn't bother picking up, after months of not talking she just says sry and doesn't ask me how i'm doing? Ever since then, she's been in my head alot more than the previous week... so what now...? What is she trying to get at? :/ Edited July 8, 2014 by SCJACK
umirano Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 You're instinct is right she's just tugging on the leash... Delete her number, or block her (not sure if viber can do that).
dumbass2 Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 I'm dealing with a break up right now as well. I will tell you that it seems she is toying with you. She now has you calling her. She's probably peeved because you haven't contacted her in a while and the fact that she won't pick up should tell you all you need to know. Now if you want to try and get back with her (don't know your whole story) then try to contact her again to see if she wants to talk if you want, but that will put you back on the healing process (I know first hand). I would continue to go no contact, again if you have no intention of trying to get back. Don't delete her, but block her on Viber and your phone as well so you don't have to see if she tried to contact you. She might try it again in the future and that would suck if you are almost over her.
Simon Phoenix Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 Yep, just tugging the leash. Next time don't cave -- if it's important she'll call you in a traditional way and leave a message. And even then you probably shouldn't answer. Either way, stop answering. 1
Author SCJACK Posted July 9, 2014 Author Posted July 9, 2014 Thanks guys... yeah I feel she is either accidentally calling me (enlarged call button right under my profile pic when you try to enlarge it) or actually just messing with me. Few weeks ago she also "accidentally" called me while I was at work.... it's weird that everytime she does this, it's a pic of me and another girl, different pictures both times but with the girl in it with me... haha.. Her birthday is coming up in 2 days actually... I was never planning on saying anything, when you don't say anything does it come across their mind ? I'm sure she knows that I know it's her bday but if i don't say anything would it affect her in anyway?
Author SCJACK Posted July 9, 2014 Author Posted July 9, 2014 Yep, just tugging the leash. Next time don't cave -- if it's important she'll call you in a traditional way and leave a message. And even then you probably shouldn't answer. Either way, stop answering. Yeah too bad people don't leave messages too often, anyways.. there is nothing important that she could ever tell me other than to get back which I know she's too prideful to get to that point.. she has a strong personality... At this point, I am okay if I am with or without her. But it does get annoying when she is messing with me, I don't even know if it's intentional really..
Simon Phoenix Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 Yeah too bad people don't leave messages too often, anyways.. there is nothing important that she could ever tell me other than to get back which I know she's too prideful to get to that point.. she has a strong personality... At this point, I am okay if I am with or without her. But it does get annoying when she is messing with me, I don't even know if it's intentional really.. Can't you just block her on this service? Either way, it only messes with you if you allow it to. By calling her back and inquiring, you allowed it to.
Author SCJACK Posted July 11, 2014 Author Posted July 11, 2014 Yup, I did it. I am aware that it is not a good idea. But I did it because 1. I don't care about getting back together. and 2. I am not hurt or scared of rejection because i'm happy where i'm at anyways. 3. I just wanted to be nice. Anyways. We texted a bit and then I decided to just call her and this was passed midnight, I had work at 2am so I sounded kinda sleepy but woke up in the midst of my sleep to text her happy bday. So we had a conversation on the phone just to catch up, and after talking for a bit, she then asked me "so how is life? how is your gf?" I never told her I had a gf, but I can see why she assumed so because of the pictures I have up of this girl and me on my viber. I asked her why do you care and she said idk just curious you can tell me or not. anyways... i'm not surprised she would ask that question, i told her "the truth" and just said i don't have a gf right now, just friends. then I just covered up by talking about how busy I was at work and didn't get into details... I know it's not good to lie, but would it have been better if I had just agreed and said "oh yeah me and my gf are good"?
Philosoraptor Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 Yes, people who are 100% fine start threads about how they lied and if they said the right thing to their ex on the phone. See how your mind is cycling and thinking about if you played your cards right with the ex? You should have listened to yourself when you knew it wasn't a good idea. As for now, stop thinking about it and don't make further contact with the ex. What's done is done.
OK_computer Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 Maybe you're not completely over her? There's no point in wishing an ex. Just proceed with NC.
Always Pondering Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 Regardless of what your subconscious is feeling about this situation versus what you actually think, I do not believe it would have been "better" to lie. The truth is that your friend is actually just your friend and playing mind-games would have led to a disaster sooner or later.
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