writteninreverse Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 Hey all, So, i've got a little situation here where I could use an outside pair of eyes to help me understand it a little better. Met a lady about 5 weeks ago and we've been on 3 dates since then (our schedules conspired to prevent us going on these dates more frequently.). In between dates, we frequently texted each other to keep in touch. Anyway, after the third date I texted her to thank her for the company and she texted back saying that she doesn't think this will work romantically but that she enjoys seeing me as a friend and that if I do want to hang out as friends she would be very interested in that. I texted her back saying I would welcome her as a friend. I did this because she's really nice, we have the same interests and I don't have many friends in this city. Anyway, I brought up a free show that is going on this weekend which I thought would be fun and told her to let me know if she's interested in going. Since then I haven't heard anything back and I sent this text 3 days ago. Normally she always responded to a text within one day. I feel like I did something wrong now because this behavior is different then our previous communications. Any ideas on what could have happened? Also, any suggestions on what I should do next?
jbelle6 Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 Maybe she met someone else and is preoccupied by them. Or maybe she was just being polite with the just friends thing? Not really sure, happens a lot though.
phineas Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Most women don't really want to be friends when they say that. Forget her. She will probably hit you up when she's bored and needs attention. 1
Yamaha Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 She didn't expect you to accept her friends request. Saying "lets be friends" when you have dated is just a nice rejection. I would just let it go. She doesn't know how to respond so no response is her answer. Would you really just look at her as a friend when you had romantic interest? She doesn't believe you!
LostOnes05 Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Yea, it does happen a lot. Actually HAPPENING to me as well. All you can do is play the cards you've been dealt. My suggestion is to actually try to be her friend (even if you do have an ulterior motive). Which means you will have to deal with being on the back burner until she gets to know you better. Unfortunately this is frustrating, so my other suggestion is to get to know other people as well and invite her out with a group of people. That way you can mingle without it being seen as anything but friendly. Don't be pushy though. She may even have a friend that you find more interesting and they just might be into you as well. Best of luck!
TXGuy Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Lets just be friends (LJBF) is generally a 'let you down easy.' Even when it is sincere, it is not a three day later hang out as buddies thing. It means if we see each other on the street we can be cordial. We might even be able to hang out (generally not, though), but that will likely be weeks or months down the road. After the dumpee has demonstrated no clinginess for an extended period of time. I don't know why you would want to be friends if you wanted her romantically. It is just too awkward. But if you wanted to try friends, give it a month or so before you try to do the friend thing. 2
Assasda Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Youre too polite and level headed for her, she doesnt know how to deal with it. Find another girl to go out with
David87 Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 That was her way of telling you I'm not interested in you, she let you go easy.... forget about her. 1
Diezel Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Well, it could have been worse, she could have texted back saying "I have herpes". So be glad she just gave you the LJBF and then disappeared. She didn't go "cold", she ghosted you. Accept it and move on.
writergal Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Well, it could have been worse, she could have texted back saying "I have herpes". So be glad she just gave you the LJBF and then disappeared. She didn't go "cold", she ghosted you. Accept it and move on. LOL! You win the "funniest response in this thread" award.
Author writteninreverse Posted June 26, 2014 Author Posted June 26, 2014 Thanks for the responses. I guess I was just confused because she seemed quite enthusiastic about being friends. She made a cute joke about something we spoke about before said she would be "totally interested" in hanging out as friends, so I figured it was more then just a polite LJBF. I also mentioned in my return text that I agreed we did not have a romantic connection, but perhaps she didn't believe it. And yes, I am very inexperienced. These three dates were actually the first in my life ever, so even though it didn't work out as I hoped, I think I have a pretty good starting point for the future.
ExpatInItaly Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 I think you offered up a friendly meet-up too soon. If you'd gotten in touch after several weeks, for example, she'd likely have believed you were only interested in a friendly relationship too. This seems more like you didn't get the hint, even if you did. Or, she could be seeing someone else and finds it inappropriate to keep in contact with you.
MissBee Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 You didn't do anything wrong and you shouldn't take it personally. While she may have extended a hand in friendship, sometimes people do so to soften the blow of not being into you romantically. And as others have said, she may be dating someone else and if she is occupied with them then she may not have the time or interest to get back to you. Don't take it personally. Go back out there and try to make other friends and date other women but I wouldn't get hung up trying to make a friendship with this woman neither would I assume I did anything wrong.
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