ThaWholigan Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Are you saying that you think that has put people off, or that is one reason you might avoid getting involved? Both. I dated a girl briefly and she ended up in a relationship with someone else. The overriding nature of our time dating was that she was looking for someone who was more established and she found that in someone who was older, and had his own house and car . I recognized that this was something I needed to work on so I've pretty much avoided dating scenarios as a result, even from interested parties.
Author spiderowl Posted June 27, 2014 Author Posted June 27, 2014 Thanks for explaining ThaHooligan, and good luck to you with working on the things you mentioned. It does strike me as a bit sad that you might miss out on a nice woman who wouldn't expect you to already be there though. Maybe it's best to tell them upfront and then see if they want to take it further. Genuine guys are not ten-a-penny!
Targetlock Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 Nice post. You got a chuckle out of me. I had to google egg salad to see how long you can store it, and evidently, this is your last day. Make it count. Life is no Yolk!! Sorry couldn't help it i guess its because like many people they just haven't found that special connection.
writergal Posted June 27, 2014 Posted June 27, 2014 Life is no Yolk!! Sorry couldn't help it i guess its because like many people they just haven't found that special connection. Egg-sactly. I mean, there's just no way to know why some people remain single. 1
Weezy1973 Posted June 28, 2014 Posted June 28, 2014 Me. I am pretty and sexy, smart, stable, career, no small kids, funny, sexual, got my life on track and my **** together, name it, and I get all the time 'why is a woman like you alone'. I get online and get tons of dates, it just never amount to anything. All men see is a pair of big boobs on a petite woman. They're never interested in what's behind. I am always alone anywhere I go, Xmas parties, vacations, family dinners, again everywhere I go I am told 'I don't understand a woman like you has no man in her life'. My best friend is a little chubby, a little more average looking and she has no problem keeping a man. I think many women mistake being attractive with being good relationship material. You describe yourself as being quite attractive, but you may be a terrible relationship partner which is why you're single. Your chubby friend might be better relationship material (and I suspect less superficial). And in your self description the first two things you mention are pretty and sexy and then to emphasize it again you also say sexual. But you wonder why men see you as a sex object? It seems like you see yourself that way... 1
Author spiderowl Posted June 28, 2014 Author Posted June 28, 2014 I do think that very attractive women often get the wrong kind of attention from guys and so come to the conclusion 'they are only after one thing'. It then becomes hard for them to form relationships when not knowing if the guy himself wants one.
Imported Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 (edited) I think many women mistake being attractive with being good relationship material. You describe yourself as being quite attractive, but you may be a terrible relationship partner which is why you're single. Your chubby friend might be better relationship material (and I suspect less superficial). And in your self description the first two things you mention are pretty and sexy and then to emphasize it again you also say sexual. But you wonder why men see you as a sex object? It seems like you see yourself that way... You said it a whole lot nicer than I would have. Some women are more trouble to take serious than it is worth. And I am not just talking about they look "sexy", but how they behave and the fact.....in my opinion.....which is the opinion that matters most to me.....that I will probably be looking at a future filled with problems of her interactions with other men. That is unacceptable. I know plenty of women that have great bodies, attractive face, dress well and does not make me think this will be a problem. She's a keeper. I also know and have known women that think all the "unwanted" attention is because they are just too sexy or something. She's just for fun. And now that I am older, she is not even for that. No fear of approaching such women....I just don't want them anymore. They get in the way of trying to find women I actually want. I think the only guys that put up with this **** is cheating married men, young guys just wanting sex and desperate guys willing to accept anything that is physically attractive. Why am I still single? Too much to explain. It's not like I am the perfect guy. If you're thinking 'who is this guy to judge women?' You're right, I'm nobody to you, so don't worry about my opinion. It's just my opinion and what I am going to go by. Edited June 30, 2014 by Imported
ascendotum Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 (edited) I was reading another thread about an attractive woman who never seemed to have a long-term boyfriend and I could think of at least one woman I know who is attractive, talented, nice personality, but never seems to be with anyone. She may have lovers privately, of course, but she always seems to be alone. I can see no obvious reason why, except that maybe she just hasn't found anyone she's attracted to. Do you know someone appealing who never seems to be attached? As you said she could easily have lovers privately and that might suit her needs, depending on how busy her life is and her goals and issues she is dealing with. Like other guys have commented on here, I find most attractive women have someone going on in the background, often on the quiet. I hear from other girl friends or co-workers (or from the women themselves if they had a drink or after they are no longer officially single) that she is not quiet lonely & sexless. With internet dating now, its even easier for a woman to order ONS/FWBs online while sitting on her couch. I know its not a relationship, but like other women here find, it makes it easier to stay single and stay on the lookout for mr.right Generally if it easy for a woman to get sex with reasonably attractive men, then its easy for her to get a relationship. I'd say for older women (early 40s up) that will be less the case. Still plenty of guys relationship minded but they really wont be as desirable as the string of lovers from the SATC years. I know of a couple of attractive women who are supposedly single for quite awhile. I would not say they have 'nice personality' though. They are in management positions and career focused. They have a closed off, aloof, serious, bossy personality. I'm sure they say men are intimidated by them, and that that will be true in lots of cases, but in lots of cases guys just don't like their personality. A few other attractive women I've known who had big spells single, while they were dealing with issues (depression, anxiety, emotional drama from dating jerks. being cheated on, abusive relationships, etc). They basically took themselves off the relationship market. Again, I'd find out they were doing ons/fwbs during this rebuilding phase. Attractive women get hit on a lot unless they have the ice queen demeanor. Women here say attractive women have hard time because guys are too intimidated to approach them. I don't believe it. For average guys, yes, but for good looking guys...uh-uh. good looking women are their bread & butter. In my social circles over the years the hotties were most definitely not ignored. An attractive woman with aloof personality who never socializes, and none of the men at her work are single, and none of her co-workers or few friends help her out, then it could happen. Edited July 1, 2014 by ascendotum
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