alicia24 Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 The guy I have been dating for about a month and a half didnt get me anything for Valentine's day, nor did he ask me to do anything. He did send me an email on Valentine's day. It said Happy Valentine's Day xoxoxoxoxoxAnthony. I thought I would have got a cheesy card at least. Am I right to be upset?
Sckott Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 A month with this guy and how far into courtship? If you've hung out for some, kissed, 2-3 dates, he's done ok. Not spectacular, but neither is the courtship. If you've really found a connection, some real intimacy, daily contact, something just a little more meaningful, he's sold it short. Depends....
Author alicia24 Posted February 16, 2005 Author Posted February 16, 2005 we talk everyday and do things on the weekend. Maybe he's trying to drop a hint or something. Whatever the case, I was pretty pissed.
Hund1976 Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 He should have at least got you a card. He's either inconsiderate or isn't that into you.
tattoomytoe Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 it has only been a month! i would have thought an actual card would have been nicer, but at least he SENT you something!
blind_otter Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 maybe he doesn't celebrate v-day. none of my friends do, and I never have. ask him.
Author alicia24 Posted February 16, 2005 Author Posted February 16, 2005 he does celebrate it. I got the email. Im just confused, he calls me everyday and takes me out and all that other stuff and I was dumbfounded by his lack of thought for V-day. whatever, guys suck!!!! I'm so sick of dating and always feeling confused and left in the dark. I wish I could understand men.
blind_otter Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Originally posted by alicia24 he does celebrate it. I got the email. Im just confused, he calls me everyday and takes me out and all that other stuff and I was dumbfounded by his lack of thought for V-day. whatever, guys suck!!!! I'm so sick of dating and always feeling confused and left in the dark. I wish I could understand men. Well, I say "happy v-day" or whatever on the phone. I still refuse to buy into a commercialist, made-up holiday that was designed to make people materialistic. If he treats you good, and talks to you respectfully, and is a good person - what is the problem? That he didn't buy you something?
savethedrama4allama Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Are you two knocking boots? I think if I were just casually dating somebody I wouldn't expect an acknowledgment, but if we were knocking boots we'd be serious enough that he should want to spend some time with me that day, or give me a call at least. llama
Sckott Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Yeah. If you're having some nookie, V-day should be more serious than that.
Author alicia24 Posted February 16, 2005 Author Posted February 16, 2005 yes we are "knocking boots" he did call me on v-day, i guess maybe i just had a little too high expectations or something. But he does treat me well and talk to me respectfully and gives it to me really good so maybe i should be thankful for having that instead of a stupid card. This why i love loveshack. Thank you all
HotCaliGirl Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 I guess men don't realize how important V-day is for women - I might get flowers, gifts delivered and/or taken out, but never both by the same person in the same year!
Cecelius Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Personally, I wouldn't give a valentine's card to a girl I'd been dating for 6 weeks -- way too much too soon.
Author alicia24 Posted February 16, 2005 Author Posted February 16, 2005 its nice to read your opinions. keeps me from racking my brain even more than i already do. you guys are great!!!!!!
Sckott Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 I think romance is overrated in a lot of people's eyes. I think being thoughtful at least should be what's expected. If it's important to you, I'd mention that you don't mind the romance. That's all. He's gotta know you.
blind_otter Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 See this is why I don't celebrate V-day or christmas - I always get disappointed.
nicki Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 okay, i understand not wanting to buy into the commercialism of v-day....but what about being thoughtful? it's thoughtful to get a card on an important day like that for someone who wants to feel special. it really isn't about one's belief in the futility of the day....it's about the OTHER person, and what THEY want... and most women ask other women what they got for v-day. we want to know our men consider our feelings and make an effort. BUT, if a guy treats you well every day, then a small gift, an "I love you," dinner, etc....is good. however, no amount of gifts can make up for a guy who is inconsiderate every other day of the year. bottom line: he was cheap, but you should let him know that you would like more. did you get him anything? he will know if it's not even. nicely let him know that he is the best present for v-day, but you still like the acknowledgement. if he cares/loves you even a little bit now, then he will pay attention to what you want. if he ignores your wishes, then i'd watch out for him in the future...yikes, what if he's "against" christmas, or birthdays? that would make me "against" sex with him
Naive Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 I would have expected more than that. Of course he is not going to go out and buy you a diamond ring but at least a personal card would have been nice. Did you give his cheap a** something??? I sure hope not!!!
nicki Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 oops, scratch the "I love you" part...i forgot you have only been dating a short time. but do let him know you like the romance. you just started dating, after all. romance is supposed to be in high gear! celebrating things together makes couples feel close. i'd let him know how much you appreciate any romantic gesture...pin him down and kiss him passionately every time! when my boyfriend first started giving me compliments, etc, i would look at him and say "i just looove it when you talk to me that way, you sexy beast!" positive reinforcement now will help establish good habits....
alphamale Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Originally posted by alicia24 Am I right to be upset? No, not after only six wks of dating.
Naive Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 I say you don't give him any b**ty for six weeks and see if he does not get piss*d!!!!!
Sad2Day Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 I will be celebrating our 3 year anniversary in May with my bf. He did nothing for me on Vday. I remember back when we were new love, had been dating about a month and a half. He had to go out of state for work for 5 days. He came back with 11 pink and 1 white rose. I forget what the meaning was, but it was such a sweet and thoughtful thing to do. If he doesn't do anything now for you on a special day like Vday, how is he going to be a few years down the road... Something to consider since it is so early in the relationship.
HotCaliGirl Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Sad2day - that is a correct point - most guys go all out in the beginning, even though logic would make one think only down the line when things are more serious. Usually in the beginning women get gifts, flowers, get taken to nice places etc. then down the road it gets less and less until they think they don't have to do as much anymore... I'd be upset for not getting a significant v-day present, ESPECIALLY if it has only been 6 weeks into the relationship. Don't let him think he can get away with that and that it is something you could put up with and tolerate. He showed how far he is willing to not go, so you make it clear that you expect more. (And whatever he does/gets does not have to be expensive, it's the thought that counts and how much of it he puts in, or in this case, doesn't put in).
alphamale Posted February 17, 2005 Posted February 17, 2005 Originally posted by HotCaliGirl [color=blue]I'd be upset for not getting a significant v-day present, ESPECIALLY if it has only been 6 weeks into the relationship. Don't let him think he can get away with that and that it is something you could put up with and tolerate. He showed how far he is willing to not go, so you make it clear that you expect more.[/color] so HOTCALIGURL, what would you expect after 3 months, a Jaguar???
HotCaliGirl Posted February 17, 2005 Posted February 17, 2005 alphamale said: so HOTCALIGURL, what would you expect after 3 months, a Jaguar??? If you READ my post, I said it doesn't matter how expensive the gift is! It's the THOUGHT that counts, like a thought-out love poem, a cake, a cheap bottle of wine if he can't afford a nice one, etc... anything but "I forgot" or "It's not a big deal day" because for women it is so if they don't care about how it would make you feel, then really... (I wouldn't mind getting a Jag though~
Recommended Posts