waiting4u Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 I'm sure I'll get lots of criticism for this one. But I'll just be frank. I. Haven't. Had. Sex. In. Over. A. YEAR. And during that time I've been out on dates with a lot of men with whom I've had zero chemistry. I've finally met someone with whom it's just electric, and I don't want to wait. I want to just dive in. When it feels right it feels right. Now the rest of this is going to sound slutty I know. Thing is - HE wants to wait! We just had our second date and did a lot of kissing in the car afterwards. Yet on our first date he asked me to go home with him and I said no. In making plans to get together last night, he suggested I come over and watch a movie, and I refused because I told him "I knew what his plans where haha." Then, I guess, at some point last night all that went out the window because the kissing got so hot. I didn't suggest going to his place, but neither did he. And he didn't exactly try to peel my clothes off either. I didn't proposition him, so my pride is intact to some extent, but t went home a little offended that he didn't come on stronger. I actually thought maybe he didn't think I was sexy or whatever (although he kept saying I was - but maybe he was just being polite). I also thought maybe since I haven't done it in so long I have just forgotten how to make out properly or something. When I went to bed last night I figured I had somehow screwed the whole thing up and he just wasn't that into me. I woke up to a sweet text this morning and then he blew up my phone texting all morning. Apparently I must not have screwed it up that bad. We've spent a lot of time talking over the past couple weeks and I really think he wants something serious. I'm not sure he's boyfriend material - although I know I want to have sex with him (yes, I sound like a complete slut - not sure what's wrong with me here). So WHY would a guy want to wait? Because we were drinking and he thought I'd had too much? Because he has religious hang-ups? (his father's a minister) Because he really likes me? Is he GAY? Thoughts from men would be appreciated here. And for the record, I've always been all about waiting to have sex, but a girl has NEEDS.
CarrieT Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 Maybe he values you - and the potential - more than wanting to just get his rocks off... 5
central Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 So WHY would a guy want to wait? Because we were drinking and he thought I'd had too much? Because he has religious hang-ups? (his father's a minister) Because he really likes me? Is he GAY? Maybe he really likes you and respects and wants to be sure that this is the right time. I mean, it IS possible! Or, he could be a virgin or very inexperienced, could have ED, could have a micro-penis (or one that's painfully large), could have religious or psychological hang-ups, forgot his condoms at home, may suffer from premature ejaculation, didn't get his STD test back yet, wants you to become emotionally attached so perhaps any problem he may have is something you'll try to work with/around, ... Basically, who knows? Only him. So, if he doesn't make a move on the next date, you may have to. 1
wesmel06 Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 First of all there is nothing wrong with you wanting sex lol. It's perfectly natural and any kind of romantic relationship needs intimacy. I think maybe he's afraid of moving too fast and blowing it with you. Especially after the fact you wouldn't let him take you home when he offered that one time. Guys aren't good with hints babe. Tell him you think he's sexy. Let him know it's ok to push forward. Trust me I'm a guy. We don't do well with small hints sometimes haha. Don't talk to us about it. Talk to him about it lol. 1
PegNosePete Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 on our first date he asked me to go home with him and I said no. he suggested I come over and watch a movie, and I refused because I told him "I knew what his plans where haha." went home a little offended that he didn't come on stronger. Seriously? You reject him twice and are then offended that he doesn't throw himself at you for a third rejection? He wants to wait because YOU told him to wait, twice. If you want to change your mind now then you're going to have to take the lead. 7
somedude81 Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 You're offended because he didn't want to have sex with you in the car? Never mind the fact that he asked you go him with him twice so far. So how the heck are you rationalizing that he wants to wait?
Author waiting4u Posted June 25, 2014 Author Posted June 25, 2014 But I really felt like I was almost taking the lead TOO much - I mean I was flirty and suggestive, the kissing was hot - are men turned off by women who come on strong? That's honestly what I thought it was - that I had been too uh aggressive in my kissing.
Author waiting4u Posted June 25, 2014 Author Posted June 25, 2014 You're offended because he didn't want to have sex with you in the car? Never mind the fact that he asked you go him with him twice so far. So how the heck are you rationalizing that he wants to wait? No, I would never have sex in a freaking car - unless it was an established thing. But I'm not THAT bad lol.
Keenly Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 He wants to wait for the same exact reason a woman would want to wait. It makes it better, and he needs to make sure you are deserving of something that intimate. 2
PegNosePete Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 Men are turned off by women who reject their advances ... TWICE. If I got rejected twice then I certainly wouldn't ask a 3rd time. If you want to have sex with him now then you'll have to say so, in plain English. I highly doubt he'll refuse.
MidwestUSA Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 No, I would never have sex in a freaking car - unless it was an established thing. But I'm not THAT bad lol. Wait, I did! It's only been two dates! Slow down and savor the build up. Let him lead, but let him know you're hot for him as well. 4
KathyM Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 Maybe he wants to get to know you on other levels before adding sex to the equation. Maybe he thinks sex too soon will bring feelings of intimacy and expectations too soon before the relationship has time to develop on its own. Maybe he has religious reasons for abstaining, if he had a religious upbringing. Nothing wrong with that. It doesn't mean he has hang ups or sexual dysfunction. Now is the time to get to know him better on other levels. Find out what he's looking for in a relationship, what his spiritual beliefs are, who he is as a person, etc. Get to know him on other levels first.
somedude81 Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 No, I would never have sex in a freaking car - unless it was an established thing. But I'm not THAT bad lol. Then why are you so offended? He has already tried twice to get you to his place right? So that tells you that he doesn't want to wait. He probably thought you would get upset if he suggested you go to his place twice in the same night. Right now it just looks like you got upset that he got you hot and bothered, and didn't suggest you to to his place right there and then. So next time he suggests you come over, don't say no. If you want to make sure that things happen, then when you two are planning the next date, suggest a movie night.
wesmel06 Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 But I really felt like I was almost taking the lead TOO much - I mean I was flirty and suggestive, the kissing was hot - are men turned off by women who come on strong? That's honestly what I thought it was - that I had been too uh aggressive in my kissing. It sounds like he isn't that experienced or just scared to death. Anytime any women gives me a small hint I try and make the most of it lol. Especially when she is aggressively kissing me. My hands get a mind of their own. Did you look to see if he was sporting an erection? That would answer the gay question for sure lol.
regine_phalange Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 He is less aggressive because he assumes you are not ready yet and doesnt want to put pressure on you. He is a gentleman. Enjoy what you have, get to know each other, and let it happen when both of you are ready.
Priv Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 (edited) I am soooo going to post this next month. See what happens I'm sure I'll get lots of criticism for this one. But I'll just be frank. I. Haven't. Had. Sex. In. Over. A. YEAR. And during that time I've been out on dates with a lot of women with whom I've had zero chemistry. I've finally met someone with whom it's just electric, and I don't want to wait. I want to just dive in. When it feels right it feels right. Now the rest of this is going to sound playerly I know. Thing is - SHE wants to wait! We just had our second date and did a lot of kissing in the car afterwards. Yet on our first date she asked me to go home with her and I said no. In making plans to get together last night, she suggested I come over and watch a movie, and I refused because I told her "I knew what her plans where haha." Then, I guess, at some point last night all that went out the window because the kissing got so hot. I didn't suggest going to her place, but neither did she. And she didn't exactly try to peel my clothes off either. I didn't proposition her, so my pride is intact to some extent, but t went home a little offended that she didn't come on stronger. I actually thought maybe she didn't think I was sexy or whatever (although she kept saying I was - but maybe she was just being polite). I also thought maybe since I haven't done it in so long I have just forgotten how to make out properly or something. When I went to bed last night I figured I had somehow screwed the whole thing up and she just wasn't that into me. I woke up to a sweet text this morning and then she blew up my phone texting all morning. Apparently I must not have screwed it up that bad. We've spent a lot of time talking over the past couple weeks and I really think she wants something serious. I'm not sure she's girlfriend material - although I know I want to have sex with her (yes, I sound like a complete horndog - not sure what's wrong with me here). So WHY would a girl want to wait? Because we were drinking and she thought I'd had too much? Because she has religious hang-ups? (her father's a minister) Because she really likes me? Is she a LESBIAN? Thoughts from women would be appreciated here. And for the record, I've always been all about waiting to have sex, but a guy has NEEDS. Edited June 25, 2014 by Priv 4
PegNosePete Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 ^^ LOL. My advice would be the same You've rejected her twice, ball is in your court to make advances now. 1
thekid36 Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 I'm sure I'll get lots of criticism for this one. But I'll just be frank. I. Haven't. Had. Sex. In. Over. A. YEAR. And during that time I've been out on dates with a lot of men with whom I've had zero chemistry. I've finally met someone with whom it's just electric, and I don't want to wait. I want to just dive in. When it feels right it feels right. Now the rest of this is going to sound slutty I know. Thing is - HE wants to wait! We just had our second date and did a lot of kissing in the car afterwards. Yet on our first date he asked me to go home with him and I said no. In making plans to get together last night, he suggested I come over and watch a movie, and I refused because I told him "I knew what his plans where haha." Then, I guess, at some point last night all that went out the window because the kissing got so hot. I didn't suggest going to his place, but neither did he. And he didn't exactly try to peel my clothes off either. I didn't proposition him, so my pride is intact to some extent, but t went home a little offended that he didn't come on stronger. I actually thought maybe he didn't think I was sexy or whatever (although he kept saying I was - but maybe he was just being polite). I also thought maybe since I haven't done it in so long I have just forgotten how to make out properly or something. When I went to bed last night I figured I had somehow screwed the whole thing up and he just wasn't that into me. I woke up to a sweet text this morning and then he blew up my phone texting all morning. Apparently I must not have screwed it up that bad. We've spent a lot of time talking over the past couple weeks and I really think he wants something serious. I'm not sure he's boyfriend material - although I know I want to have sex with him (yes, I sound like a complete slut - not sure what's wrong with me here). So WHY would a guy want to wait? Because we were drinking and he thought I'd had too much? Because he has religious hang-ups? (his father's a minister) Because he really likes me? Is he GAY? Thoughts from men would be appreciated here. And for the record, I've always been all about waiting to have sex, but a girl has NEEDS. How the heck have you managed to last over a year? That is quite impressive in itself! You don't sound like a complete 'slut' at all. Sounds as if you are a sexy and sexual woman who is not at all promiscuous. Being that you have met someone who you like, it is normal that there are the needs that seem to be there. If he is in contact with you, then things sound promising. The fact that the kissing was hot is also a good sign. Not sure if I see any signs of something to worry about. He may just like you and want more than merely sex. You seem to have sparks going on. I would suggest enjoying the slow build up. Think of how amazing it will be once you finally do let go! Acute anticipation has a way of having rather interesting effects, so to speak. 1
Priv Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 ^^ LOL. My advice would be the same You've rejected her twice, ball is in your court to make advances now. We will see next month when you forgot all about this
preraph Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 Oh, there's all kinds of rules that have sprung up. He may be a guy that if you had said you wanted to sleep with him on the second date, he'd have devalued you and that is not good. On the other hand, as long as it's not a double standard and he holds to the same rule, then that's not so bad. And it may be his way of showing you he does respect you. Or he could have vowed not to jump in too fast after being badly hurt or whatever.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 The only one I've ever had that wanted to wait was cos unbeknown to me he had agreed with the ex that they would date but not sleep with anyone else..!! lol x
Author waiting4u Posted June 25, 2014 Author Posted June 25, 2014 Or, he could be a virgin or very inexperienced, could have ED, could have a micro-penis. NOO NOOO NOOO That last one scares me to death.
Author waiting4u Posted June 25, 2014 Author Posted June 25, 2014 I am soooo going to post this next month. See what happens I'm sure I'll get lots of criticism for this one. But I'll just be frank. I. Haven't. Had. Sex. In. Over. A. YEAR. And during that time I've been out on dates with a lot of women with whom I've had zero chemistry. I've finally met someone with whom it's just electric, and I don't want to wait. I want to just dive in. When it feels right it feels right. Now the rest of this is going to sound playerly I know. Thing is - SHE wants to wait! We just had our second date and did a lot of kissing in the car afterwards. Yet on our first date she asked me to go home with her and I said no. In making plans to get together last night, she suggested I come over and watch a movie, and I refused because I told her "I knew what her plans where haha." Then, I guess, at some point last night all that went out the window because the kissing got so hot. I didn't suggest going to her place, but neither did she. And she didn't exactly try to peel my clothes off either. I didn't proposition her, so my pride is intact to some extent, but t went home a little offended that she didn't come on stronger. I actually thought maybe she didn't think I was sexy or whatever (although she kept saying I was - but maybe she was just being polite). I also thought maybe since I haven't done it in so long I have just forgotten how to make out properly or something. When I went to bed last night I figured I had somehow screwed the whole thing up and she just wasn't that into me. I woke up to a sweet text this morning and then she blew up my phone texting all morning. Apparently I must not have screwed it up that bad. We've spent a lot of time talking over the past couple weeks and I really think she wants something serious. I'm not sure she's girlfriend material - although I know I want to have sex with her (yes, I sound like a complete horndog - not sure what's wrong with me here). So WHY would a girl want to wait? Because we were drinking and she thought I'd had too much? Because she has religious hang-ups? (her father's a minister) Because she really likes me? Is she a LESBIAN? Thoughts from women would be appreciated here. And for the record, I've always been all about waiting to have sex, but a guy has NEEDS. :laugh: This is absolutely brilliant. It IS such a double standard, this sex thing, isn't it?
jbelle6 Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 Seriously? You reject him twice and are then offended that he doesn't throw himself at you for a third rejection? He wants to wait because YOU told him to wait, twice. If you want to change your mind now then you're going to have to take the lead. This ^^^. I don't know where all the explanations in this thread are coming from and I have no clue why you are worried. He asked you home twice. Even though I am one...girls are weird. 3
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 He wants to wait because he's not an *******. You should be over the moon that you even have something that could lead to something serious. Where's the grattiude ?
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