Ex Girlfriend from over a year coming to me for dating ? Not over her?

[sabresfan23]

Me and my ex have been broken up for over a year. It was a really tough one for me because I really gave 1000% all the time and she would never fully commit/kind of dragged me along. I ended it with her and we went our separate ways after I finally stood up for myself. I cut her off completely and it was the right thing to do.

 

Fast forward about 8 months and she reaches out to me to congratulate me on a new job and over the next few months we begin regularly talking and eventually sit down and apologize for things that happened. She and I both made it very clear this was not getting back together.

 

We had both been dating different people over the past year and she more seriously than me. She essentially started hanging out with the opposite of me, immature, treated her poorly, ignored her, and refused to commit (what goes around comes around right?) I have been flirting with her quite often over the last few months as well.

 

Lately she has been blowing me up after they "broke up" (he definitely ended it) and has been asking me for advice. So in one way we have been more open than ever with each other but in the other it's very strange and we both recognize it.

 

The issue I have is that I'm not sure I ever fully got over her and I'm quite torn at what to do. She called me after the breakup, and in the same night escaped an attempted robbery. The next day she asked if I would stay with her, and we went to dinner. At this point I'm trying to be a good friend but I myself cannot figure out the long game here. I have refused to make any moves or push anything with her. We definitely aren't normal "friends" but it's nice having her around.

 

What advice can you give me?

[David87]

Of course you cant be normal friends because you're not over her.Shes asking for your advice because she is over you. It's not healthy, you need to cut her off until you reach indifference.

[Doicare]

Well I don't want to give you false hopes here, but she is still attraction do to you. I mean it's pretty blatant when she asks you to sleep over, she reached out to you. There is still some attraction there, you just need to figure out what negative emotions existing data that prevented her from feeling comfortable and wanting to commit.

 

I'm willing to guess you were probably exhibiting some needy behaviour and we're putting for a commitment when she wasn't ready or the one to come up with the idea. Always let the other person bring this up.

 

You did well to break up with her. You just have to focus on being more responsive to the subtle cues she's given you about what behaviors turn her on VS off.

 

I too have learned the hard way and was dumped. I disappeared form her life when I got dumped and she did reach out after a couple months. We too were flirting, but out of nowhere she's seeing someone new. Not all hope is lost but I've been moving on. Who knows what the future will bring as we were together for almost 4 years, but as I mentioned to you, I need to work on unblocking her bad emotions about me and changing some of the bad habits I had that were repelling her.

[ThorntonMelon]

The bad news here is you're going to end up devastated if you pursue it.

 

The good news is you have the ability to cut it off right now before you do.

[erklat]

You are getting friendzoned. Cut it off before it is too lat.

 

You're not supposed to give advice as to how get over your ex with someone

you have been romantically involved with.

 

I would be pretty agitated if my ex tried that with me.

[rec88]

If it were me, the next time she calls I would politely tell her that I'm not the person she should be asking for this kind of advice. In one sentence it cuts through the BS and leaves no room for doubt. Simple as that.