piikea Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 (edited) Idk how similar gay relationships are to straight ones because I haven't had enough to know & don't have any gay friends to ask but I was dumped about 3 months ago by my bf of 18 months out of nowhere. He said his ex had called him "begging him to come back to him & he had unresolved feelings for him too." He said he "thought they'd be gone by now" & "he felt like an A-hole for it." YET, he said: "but I don't see myself going back to him" & essentially said he'd been meaning to have this talk for awhile" (to break up I guess?). He had only dated this guy 1 or 2 months at most & said it had been a short, intense & drama filled relationship. So, I know about "rebounds" & all that but these time frames seem backwards to fit a "rebound." He was never very open or talkative about emotions & us in general even though I tried to. I didn't love me but I still find it hard to think how casually dropped that bomb on me with such lack of empathy & seeming indifference to me. I told him I loved him that night (he almost seemed "annoyed" by that!?) & he said "let's both take some time to process this." I had to reach out to him about 2 weeks later & I told him how important he was to me & I didn't want to lose him & being together that long meant there was "something" there. I didn't let him talk because he didn't seem to know how hurtful things he said were plus I didn't want him to make a split second decision on us. There's more that occurred later but too much to write it all(!). But, I can't find a way NOT to be devastated by this. He "trapped" me in a no-win Catch-22: He has feelings for someone else AND/OR He was going to leave me anyway (!?) So, I have to live with him wanting someone else more than me AND he was going to dump regardless?!?! Either way I feel like hell! Why the hell saddle me with BOTH explanations (ESPECIALLY if he claims he "doesn't see himself getting back with the guy" anyway!! I am prone to depression anyway & this has thrown into a major one. NOTHING I've tried has eased this horrible feeling of someone you thought you knew turning on you so easily (after one phone call!). Doesn't help to think he's an jerk OR to "accept" he just used me all that time. Edited June 25, 2014 by piikea
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