blueskyday Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 (edited) I would think if you aren't an abuser, you won't have the same relationship dynamic. I respectfully ask you to ask: Would you blame a rape victim for the rape? She is a victim of domestic abuse. It's not her fault she stayed. It's a brainwashing. She's not codependent. It's all on the abusive guy! She didn't just date a few jerks and has bad boundaries. This is different. Do you know that marriage counseling is prohibited for abusers? It's because they are they aren't partners in a relationship. They have a relationship with control. They must have specialized therapy to change their mind sets. I wouldn't judge her on her past. Don't worry about her ability to say No. It's one thing to tell a creepy guy at work to take a hike and quite another to be in an abusive relationship with an intimate partner who has brainwashed you into thinking everything is your fault. You really do think that the nice guy you fell in love with will return if you behave better. Now, if she's out casually banging multiple men while acting the prim and proper church mouse , then you've got yourself a hypocrite. But I don't think that's the case. Besides, as long as she's in a monogamous marriage bound relationship based on love, freaky is ok?? Edited July 10, 2014 by blueskyday
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