Jack b Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Hi, I get advice for everything else online so here goes, I'm a 28 yo male who was in a serious relationship with my ex for 8 years until we split 8 months ago. We have a boy together who is nearly 4 and who is being monitored for symptoms of autism. We lived together since day one and had very good memories. Bought a house planned on marriage ect ect. The last year we both had problems with depression and started getting more and more distant. We broke it off promising we would be friends forever. However life after that relationship isn't what i/we was hoping for. Around a month after we split I met another woman and after dating for a month we ended up moving in together(I know, it was complicated how it happened). At the time I thought my ex wouldn't be bothered at all, after all, all I wanted was for her to be happy and I thought she would think the same. After she had a failed short term relationship she started with the "I hate you" "we were on a break and I wanted to get back with u". Which made me feel crap like I had abandoned her and my son. That's when I started thinking iv made the biggest mistake ever and didn't have a clue wot to do. So since then iv been walking around keeping myself to myself getting more depressed having to take medication. Started with drugs on weekends or whenever I feel like I need to escape. Iv not got wot I had with my son anymore. We look after him 50/50 but I actually feel sorry for him when he's at my house coz I feel so inadequate in looking after him. My relationship at the moment is very rocky as u can imagine. She hates me having drugs and will pack her bags if she caught me which I don't blame her(she was fine with it b4 we moved in) She knows how much I care for my ex and she is always comparing, the problems are endless. So out of the blue my ex rings me last week and begs me to come back "home" I didn't know what to think and iv been silent for 3 days until this post. I can't even explain it to my g/f. I can't stop thinking about her now and I don't know what to do. My house with my now g/f that we are renting is up for renewal now but how am I suppose to sign for another 6 months in a house with this partner? I need time to think but I know it's not fair on her. I never have and never will cheat on any woman just to stick up for myself abit. I want to be the best dad I can and Be happy with no regrets.
artsygirl78 Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 I am so sorry for what seems like a very emotionally overwhelming situation. It sounds like you are in a lot of emotional pain and in over your head, my heart goes out to you and I hope the responses here can help you find some support. What really sticks out at me, more than anything else in the post, is your own struggle with depression, and your feelings of inadequacy as a Dad. The most important relationship out of all that you have described here, is with your SON. Reading what you are going through right now, I think you are in a place of feeling so overwhelmed and getting pushed/pulled by the wants of your ex, etc, that you might not be in a place to be able to make a serious decision about leaving the girlfriend. Have you had time to sit down and really think about your feelings towards your ex? Do you feel you really love your girlfriend? What steps can you take to really take good care of your OWN emotional and mental state so that you can be the best Dad for your son possible, and feel proud of being a good father? Try to put that first, and you will get your answer about which romantic partner you are supposed to be with.
Recommended Posts