Rbric Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Rundown - I'm 28, been on match.com for a few months with good success of getting dates, but have only been interested in a couple of the girls after the first date. I went out with one last Wednesday and really enjoyed the date. She's the same age, very attractive, and a great sense of humor. I know she was on match right when I started, but was soon off, and just got back on less than a week before we went on the date. There was zero awkwardness during the date and we were both laughing a lot and she seemed to be having a great time. Several times she made mention of things we need to do "next time" or "soon." Ex. - She mentioned we should go biking sometime (mid-to late in the date), I kind of laughed a little I guess because she said "No really, we should do it soon." It was a weeknight date that lasted close to three hours and we hugged when I walked her to her car (I virtually always wait for the second date with match.com dates to kiss). I was going to text her the next day, but she texted me that same night saying she got home and thanked me for dinner and that she had a great time. I told her I'd call her on the weekend to figure out another date and she said that was perfect and she may not respond immediately because her dad would be visiting but would get back to me as soon as she could. The next night (Thursday) she friended me on facebook. I accepted, after limiting her access-I don't like giving full access or viewing a first dates facebook that much myself because it's easy to start formulating what the person is like via facebook and forget how the date actually went. Maybe this was an issue, but as far as she knows my profile is limited to everyone (we have no mutual friends she could ask). When I saw her profile, she had written earlier in the day (thursday) "somethin bout a boy from the south..." as a status update. Could be a coincidence, but I assumed it had to do with me. I didn't contact her Friday, Saturday sent her a funny picture/text and she responded quickly and positively. I then tried to call her Sunday night and it went straight to voicemail. I left her a message just saying I wanted to see how her weekend went with her dad and wanted to try to figure out another night to get together. Didn't hear back from her that night or anything Monday. I'm surprised I haven't even gotten a text saying "sorry I missed your call, talk to you..." So that is not a good sign. So my question is, how and when should I contact her again? I was thinking Wednesday (would be a few days after my Sunday call) via text. Just saying "Hey, I haven't heard from you since I left the voicemail and just wanted to see if you were still interested in getting together again." Should I say something else? Wait even longer to try again? My hope is she is busy with her Dad still and will contact me, but my best guess is she has some other guys she is seeing or scheduling to see and is waiting to see how those schedule out. I am sure nearly every guy on match has contacted her since she got back on recently. I would find it hard to believe she is really not interested in me at all after our date, and if she was she seems like someone who would say so. Any other thoughts?
d0nnivain Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 While I'm not a big fan of texts, I think your idea is fine. If you get no timely response to that, walk away though.
PegNosePete Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 I left her a message just saying I wanted to see how her weekend went with her dad and wanted to try to figure out another night to get together. Give her another call tonight, if she doesn't answer then leave a message. Don't be needy with the "haven't heard from you" stuff, just say you're calling to arrange another date and ask her to call you back. Then the ball is clearly in her court. 2
Assasda Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Dont call her again. You already called, and you left a message, you dont need to do anything more. If you dont hear from her in like 3-4 days, start setting up other dates
Author Rbric Posted June 24, 2014 Author Posted June 24, 2014 Three responses, three different answers, haha. I'm leaning towards just sending her a text tomorrow morning. I don't have high hopes after she has not responded to my voicemail for almost 48 hours, but I had a ton of fun on the date and have little doubt she was interested at least right after the date, so I will contact her some way or other. Any other thoughts are appreciated though.
MidwestUSA Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Next time, if you have that great of a date, lock down date two at the end of date one. When she said 'really, we should do it soon', pop open a calendar on your phone and offer Saturday, or whatever, you get my drift. If you do text or call again, make it with a VERY specific date, time and place, don't leave it open. Not 'I'm calling to set up another date, call me back'. If she's not interested, she'll take the cowardly way out and just ignore you. Good luck. 1
oberkeat Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 (edited) I've played this same game with disinterested women (check out my recent posts). I agree with d0nnivain. Text her once more, asking if she's interested in meeting up again. Make no reference to your previous contact attempt. If you receive no timely response (or worse yet, a wishy washy response, with words such as "maybe") delete her number from your phone and your memory. Edited June 24, 2014 by oberkeat
Baller25 Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Never leave voicemails, there are so many problems. Never add a date on Facebook until she's almost your gf. Facebook kills interest because she finds too much out you too quick, and if she can see your wall then she'll know too much about what your up to (stops her from wondering about you). Wait 1 week, if no response then she's no longer interested, probably because of FB. 1
Author Rbric Posted June 24, 2014 Author Posted June 24, 2014 I agree with the Facebook comment. That's why I limited access - I've found I do the same thing to girls, start formulating a different picture of them rather than how much I enjoyed the date. But wouldn't not accepting their request also look bad?
Assasda Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 You already let her a message man. You dont need to send ANYMORE message at all. She got it, so dont even bother. value yourself
Author Rbric Posted June 25, 2014 Author Posted June 25, 2014 I went with the text this morning, asking her out for tomorrow night. She quickly responded saying "I would love to but I have a happy hour-ish event after work and won't be done until 8ish. . I could potentially do Sunday though." I responded by saying I thought Sunday would be fine for me and I would give her a call tomorrow night and we could try to lock something down. She said that was perfect and hoped my week was going well in the meantime. I read that as she probably still has a decent amount of interest, but the "potentially" part means she is hedging. I'm giving it a 50% chance we get together again. Thoughts?
phineas Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 You already let her a message man. You dont need to send ANYMORE message at all. She got it, so dont even bother. value yourself Yep. I text/call once. She don't respond she ain't interested.
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